


Freshman Year

by alecjbi



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Jeremy Heere, Higher Education, M/M, Memes, Multi, Non-Binary Rich Goranski, Non-binary character, Post-High School, Post-Squip, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell, chatfic, groupchat, random arcs here and there, short story/not text fic chapters marked with -
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-24 09:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 42,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecjbi/pseuds/alecjbi
Summary: A groupchat that was made in junior year has survived through high school and up to college.It's freshman year, and the "squipsquad" is going to tackle it this time.Maybe.





	1. jeremy done fucked

**Author's Note:**

> i love these fics so i took a shot at it. idk how frequent updates will be. cool? cool.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> always think before you decide to go to med school

_[squipsquad currently has: 7 members online]_

_jerrybean: dudes_

_jerrybean: it's the first day of college and i'm already fucked_

_cupid: aww you miss your boyfriend??_

_jerrybean: yes_

_jerrybean: but that's not the point_

_gay™: he misses me!! i can die happy_

_jake-a-cake: dorks_

_jerrybean: GUYS this is important_

_jerrybean: it turns out_

_jerrybean: i'm really not good with blood_

_dick: HA UR FUCKED_

_cupid: i gotta agree with rich. not your best move_

_canoozle: jeremy that's like going to theater school without being able to sing_

_dick: so like you??_

_cupid: SHOTS FIRED_

_dick: im kidding im kidding_

_dick: i love u christine_

_canoozle: eh_

_dick: EXCUSE_

_dick: yknow what. im tired ill just accept the rejection_

_gay™: anyways_

_gay™: jeremy. sweetie. darling. the love of my life._

_gay™: why the /fuck/ did you go to med school if you're not good with blood_

_jerrybean: I DIDNT KNOW I WASNT_

_jerrybean: BUT SOMEONE FELL AND SCRAPED THEIR KNEE PRETTY GOOD_

_jerrybean: AND I WAS LIKE_

_jerrybean:[hahaimfine.jpg](https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/The-Muppets-Kermit.jpg)_

_jerrybean:[IMFUCKED.jpg](https://scontent-sea1-1.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e35/12716945_1536930593274133_1847067176_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=MTE4MTUzNzI4Mzg5MjQ4MTA5Ng%3D%3D.2)_

_jerrybean: in that order_

_canoozle: where did you find those_

_jerrybean: i have an extensive meme collection_

_gay™: i can confirm_

_gay™: you all thought his hard drive was filled with porn?_

_gay™: nope_

_gay™: it's memes_

_dick: he once showed me a pepe that even /i/ haven't seen_

_cupid: jeremy. wtf. why do you have pepes_

_jerrybean: i keep an extensive collection of every meme_

_jerrybean: just let me live_

_cupid: i'm never gonna forgive you for having an extensive collection of memes_

_jerrybean: but what if i show you_

_jerrybean:[this.jpg](https://pics.me.me/obscure-bourgeoisie-dont-buy-colgate-whitening-toothpaste-it-says-guaranteed-11656921.png)_

_canoozle: jeremy no_

_jake-a-cake: jeremy yes_

_jerrybean: thank you jake_

_jake-a-cake: ur welcome boo_

_dick: im breaking up with you_

_jake-a-cake: rude_

_brookie: anyways how tf did you go from talking about how jerry here's fucked to memes_

_jennabun: isn't that always what happens?_

_brookie: true_

_gay™: while i love talking to all of you (mostly jeremy tho) i have to go to class_

_canoozle: ooh! what do you have??_

_gay™: intro to film scoring_

_gay™: it's gonna be lit, berklee is great so far_

_jerrybean: MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO ONE OF THE BEST MUSIC SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY SUCK IT_

_brookie: we get it you love him_

_brookie: but i'm proud of michael, that's a p big feat_

_jerrybean: HELL YEAH IT IS_

_gay™: but seriously i have to go_

_brookie: bye_

_dick: adios dude_

_jake-a-cake: see ya_

_canoozle: good luck!!!!!_

_jennabun: have fun !_

_jerrybean: FUCKING BEAT EVERYONES ASSES WHO TRIES TO GET IN YOUR WAY YOURE THE BEST MUSICIAN THERE AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT_

_cuipd: two types of people_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_jerrybean:[sad.jpg](https://i.imgflip.com/15p9ii.jpg)_

_jennabun: jeremy no sad kermit memes make me sad_

_jerrybean:[sharemypain.jpg](https://i.amz.mshcdn.com/Bcig6R7XCkHwajx0PyhmyZtlVqI=/1200x630/2016%2F12%2F13%2Fd1%2Fkermit.55700.jpg)_

_jennabun:[no.vid](https://media.giphy.com/media/6OpusTwW1csaQ/giphy.gif)_

_jerrybean:[fine.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/86/66/d0/8666d052356b9572e053d33f792001e7--kermit-funny-things.jpg)_

_cupid: dorks_


	2. jake gets revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i heard from jenna that jake killed his teacher!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's just pretend jake got paralyzed at the halloween party. some disabled representation for ya that will actually go in depth at some point (please tell me if it isn't accurate, i'm not disabled but i try to represent everyone as best i can. yknow)
> 
> thanks for stopping by!! tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com and tweeters: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[squipsqaud currently has: 5 members online]_

_jake-a-cake: i'm literally so pissed off right now_

_jake-a-cake: like i'm bout to get out of my chair and punch a bitch pissed off_

_dick: honey you can't_

_jake-a-cake: YOU DONT THINK I DONT FUCKING KNOW THAT_

_cupid: holy shit jake calm down_

_canoozle: take deep breaths!! it's all okay, jake_

_jake-a-cake: fine_

_jake-a-cake: but do you wanna know what happened_

_dick: yes_

_jerrybean: yes_

_jennabun: y e s_

_brookie: jenna hun you can hide your nosiness for a littly while ok_

_jake-a-cake: so i'm going to my fucking class. brand identity design or something. and it's on a lower level, it's my first week here and i don't know my way around. so i see this guy, a professor, he teaches my graphic design 1 class_

_jake-a-cake: anyways i ask him where the elevator is. and he's like, why are you in a wheelchair? and he was acting shady when i was in his class, he didn't give me a lower place to work so i'm trying to fucking draw on a table a good three inches above where its supposed to be. and he gave me a bad grade on all my formative assignments so far even tho i did what i was supposed to??_

_jake-a-cake: anyways he doesn't need to know why, i'm paralyzed and in a fucking wheelchair just let me live dude. so i tell him, and he goes on and on about._

_jake-a-cake: are you ready for this_

_jake-a-cake: THAT EVERYTHING FUCKING HAPPENS FOR A REASON_

_cupid: oh shit_

_canoozle: oh my god_

_jake-a-cake: it gets better_

_jake-a-cake: so i ask him, i got paralyzed in a freak accident for a reason? and he says, and i quote,_

_jake-a-cake: "yeah, you must've done something horrible to deserve that. but don't worry, god has a plan for you"_

_jake-a-cake: AND HE FUCKING HANDS ME A CHURCH BROCHURE OR SOME SHIT AND SAYS WE CAN FIX YOU, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A NUISANCE ANYMORE_

_jake-a-cake: NO ONES CALLING ME A NUISANCE BESIDES ME YOU CRUSTY OLD MAN_

_dick: oh my god i'm so sorry_

_dick: he's an asshole_

_dick: i'll report him to risd give me his name_

_jake-a-cake: it's fine, i'll make him pay for it_

_dick: ??????_

_canoozle: jake, please don't do anything stupid_

_jake-a-cake: no promises_

* * *

_[squipsqaud currently has: 7 members online]_

_jake-a-cake: uh guys_

_gay™: well that's not a good way to start a conversation_

_gay™: what happened this time_

_jake-a-cake: i might be getting kicked out of risd_

_jerrybean: .......can't say i'm surprised_

_brookie: JERRY_

_jerrybean: HE CLIMBED THROUGH THE WINDOW AT THE HALLOWEN PARTY BC CHLOE WAS MAKING OUT WITH ME WHAT DO YOU EXPECT_

_brookie: ....._

_brookie: i see your point_

_brookie: jake please do go on_

_dick: seriously this was your dream school what the fuck did you do_

_jennabun: awww rich is a concerned boyfriend!!_

_dick: well yeah and i don't want him to come crying when he gets kicked out of  the school he's been working towards for years!!_

_jake-a-cake: you have so much faith in me_

_dick: just tell me what the fuck you did !!!!!!!!!_

_jake-a-cake: okay so_

_jake-a-cake: i may or may not have threatened to paralyze that guy_

_dick: here we go_

_jake-a-cake: like i was gonna intimidate him. i had this whole script, and i went through it, detailing how i was gonna murder him basically_

_jake-a-cake: and. uh. he thought it was serious???_

_dick: jake_

_dick: i love you but you are fucking mindless sometimes_

_canoozle: but it was only a threat? you didn't do anything right?_

_jake-a-cake: about that_

_cupid: JACOB DILLINGER_

_jake-a-cake: JUST LET ME FINISH THE FUCKING STORY CHLOE_

_brookie: honey chill out_

_brookie: deeeeeeeeep breaths_

_brookie: think of the happy trees_

_jake-a-cake: brooke lohst do not use bob ross against me or you are next_

_jake-a-cake: ANYWAYS_

_jake-a-cake: he threatened to call the police. and i said okay, technically you were discriminating against me idk shit about laws i'm in art school okay_

_jennabun: well yeah the ADA protects you_

_jennabun: you should learn this it would be helpful_

_jerrybean: how do you know all that??_

_jennabun: jeremy. i know everything about everyone and everything_

_jake-a-cake: oh good. bc i punched him_

_dick: JAKE_

_dick: ffs babe call me i'm worried_

_gay™: ......don't we all want to hear what happened_

_jerrybean: man i've already got my popcorn_

_dick: haha so funny_

_jerrybean: no i'm actually serious_

_jerrybean:[yum.jpg](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EiEUdigc754/hqdefault.jpg)_

_dick: you fuck_

_dick: he could be in trouble and you're making popcorn !!!!!_

_cupid: awwwW rich is still a concerned boyfriend_

_jennabean: okay can jake get back to telling his story so we can see whether or not he's gonna get arrested??_

_jake-a-cake: thank u_

_jake-a-cake: he was saying he was going to beat my ass if i tried to attack him bc i was paralyzed. and i said "wanna bet?" he said i'd outrun you in the first place_

_jake-a-cake: so it's important to know. this guy is short_

_dick: oh god_

_jake-a-cake: we're arguing back and forth. and i kinda. hoist myself up and sucker punch him in the nose_

_jerrybean: you should've gotten a video man_

_jerrybean: i would've paid good money to see that_

_dick: ......._

_dick: i'm still concerned but kinda glad bc he deserved it_

_jake-a-cake: yeah lol_

_jake-a-cake: well it happened like a week ago so i think i'm fine. he started grading me better once everyone started asking why he had a black eye_

_canoozle: i usually don't condone violence but i agree with jeremy. i wanted to see that_

_gay™: i'd bootleg it but same thing_

_dick: okay yay but YOU WAITED A WEEK TO TELL US??? YOU COULDVE GOTTEN ARRESTED IN THAT TIME JESUS CHRIST JAKE YOURE IN COLLEGE GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS_

_jake-a-cake: well. but it's probably fine_

_dick: I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU_

_jerrybean: idk man. he's a pretty good fighter_

_jennabun: yeah i heard he took down a teacher with one punch_

_dick: i hate you all_

_jake-a-cake: love you too babe_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone's majors bc i figured i should just list them (they're all going to pretty good schools bc i couldn't bear to send them to shit schools and there's not going to be a lot of serious shit here... some but it won't be the focus):
> 
> christine: theater arts at boston university  
> jeremy: health sciences at john hopkins (he wants to be a pediatric surgeon which is what i want to be lol)  
> michael: film scoring at berklee  
> rich: child psychology at new york university (he wants to prevent what happened with the squips, my sweet child)  
> jake: graphic design at risd (where i wanted to go if i could ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW)  
> chloe: communications arts at vanderbilt university  
> jenna: criminal justice at florida state (she's gon be a detective)  
> brooke: theatrical costume design at stephen's college


	3. joe biden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> j o e b i d e n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update spam bc all of these next ones are actual conversations i have had, plus extra dialogue of people laughing. but the actual poem my friend said and it is the funniest fucking thing i can think of to this day

_[squiipsquad currently has: 3 members online]_

_gay™:[oldmemes.jpg](https://pics.me.me/roses-are-red-harambes-in-heaven-18495075.png)_

_jerrybean: "roses are red, harambe's in heaven, joe biden"_

_jerrybean: they didn't really put a lot of effort into that_

_gay™: jeremy_

_cupid: IM FUCKING CRYING_

_cupid: JOE BIDEN_

_cupid: THAT IS THE GREATEST FUCKING THING IVE HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE_

_gay™: jeremy. babe. who is that._

_jerrybean: joe biden???_

_jerrybean: OH WAIT  
_

_jerrybean: OH NO_

_gay™: that is the best poem i have ever heard of jesus fucking christ_

_jerrybean: NO STOP_

_gay™: "rosese are red, harambe's in heaven, joe biden"_

_gay™: holy shit_

_jerrybean: STOPPPPPPPP_

 


	4. math is hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when you're in college and can't even solve a simple equation #relatable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another conversation i've had. i'm rich in this situation, my actual texts to my friends (btw i still don't know the right answer lol)  
> i'm currently and high school and couldn't solve it so it's just about as sad as if i were in college like these dorks

_[squipsquad currently has: 1 member online]_

_dick:[ffs.jpg](https://pics.me.me/why-have-trust-issues-casio-v-plam-6-2-2-1-6-202-1-calc-23561109.png)_

_dick: i'm blaming it on the fact that it's 4 am but i can't remember how to solve this_

_dick: cause you need to distribute?? i think?? idk i got .5_

_dick: WAIT NO_

_dick: now i got 18_

_dick: i'm fucking in college and i can't remember how to solve a simple expression_

_dick: i mean if you don't distribute then it's either 9 or 1_

_dick: DAMN IT_

_dick: okay it's either 9 or 18_

_dick: or 1_

_dick: i'm going to bed_

_[dick went offline]_

* * *

 

_[jerrybean went online]_

_[cupid went online]_

_[brookie went online]_

_brookie: rich wtf_

_cupid: were you high_

_jerrybean: idk man i got 9_

_brookie: no it's 1_

_cupid: i got 18 lol_

_[dick went online]_

_dick: FUCK_


	5. generations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> typing is hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another real convo. there will be some with plot soon i just remembered i have a bunch of screenshots and they were fitting to the characters, so enjoy random convos i've had

_[squipsquad currently has: 4 members online]_

_brookie: have you ever realized that our generation is probably going to destroy the world some day_

_brookie: gen x just wants to watch the world burn_

_canoozle: gen x is our parents_

_canoozle: gen z is us_

_brookie: x and z are right next to each other_

_canoozle: no, it goes gen x (which is the generation that follows the baby boomers) gen y, aka the millennials, and gen z, who are the people that follow the millennials, aka us_

_brookie:[chrissyhun.jpg](https://thepracticetest.com/typing/lessons/l13.gif)_

_canoozle: oh my god_

_canoozle: im screaming at this_

_canoozle: im such a disappointment_

_brookie: oh christine_

_brookie: at least you know your generations_

_jerrybean: i don't even want to say anything this convo is fucking perfect_

_dick: the adventures of squipsquad_

_canoozle: i have dishonored myself_

_canoozle: i have disonored my famil_

_canoozle: i have dishonored my cow_


	6. wholesome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael makes bad decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaand a short chapter to end off the night. not a convo i had, just a snippet i thought of and didn't know how to fit into a fullblown chapter. chapters with plot will be coming soon! i also don't condone underage drinking okay!!! cool

_[squipsqaud currently has: 3 members online]_

_gay™: do you think that donald trump is just donald duck in disguise_

_jerrybean: are you high_

_gay™: yes_

_jerrybean: okay_

_jerrybean: be safe_

_cupid: this is the type of wholesome content i am looking for in life_

_cupid: someone date me_

_jerrybean: no i'm gay_

_cupid: you're bi jeremy_

_jerrybean: i'm feeling particularly gay today okay_

_gay™: but...... aren't i gay?_

_gay™: like that's what my nametag says_

_gay™: idk man i just like jeremy a lot i'd like to suck his dick again sometime_

_jerrybean: are you drunk too_

_gay™: maybe_

_jerrybean: k cool_

_jerrybean: ask me again when you're sober. and don't drive or do anything stupid_

_jerrybean: call an uber if you're out. stay safe and don't get arrested bc you're underage_

_cupid: WHOLESOME_

_cupid: also jeremy have you gotten past the point where you're embarrassed by a drunk and high michael sexting you in a gc_

_jerrybean: he's drunk and doesn't have a filter_

_jerrybean: plus it's good blackmail material_

_cupid: i have trained you well_

_jerrybean: you know it_

_jerrybean: now imma call him to make sure he doesn't kill himself_

_jerrybean: adios_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

_cupid: quality wholesome content right here folks_


	7. three am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bad decision, a panic attack, and a dorm room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter focus is a suicide attempt. please skip it if you're uncomfortable. the angst is not worth a panic attack
> 
> wrote this bc i was having a bad night. might've cried while writing it, cannot confirm. many more lighthearted chapters on the way, just had go get this off my chest. i'm fine though, just channeling onto these guys <3

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: i_

_jerrybean: i don't know how to say this_

_jerrybean: i know it's only a few weeks into college but i can't fucking do this_

_jerrybean: everything's too much, i'm never going to be a surgeon, i'm never going to amount to anything_

_jerrybean: i can't do anything i'm not happy everyone hates me i can hardly talk to chloe and i'm a horrible boyfriend you don't deserve me_

_jerrybean: it won't get out of my head_

_jerrybean: i don't deserve to live_

_jerrybean: i don't deserve to be here_

_jerrybean: it doesn't even feel like i'm here ha_

_jerrybean: that could be the painkillers though_

_jerrybean: i just can't stand the thought of being here anymore_

_jerrybean: i'm sure my roommate will find me tomorrow_

_jerrybean: or today i suppose_

_jerrybean: it is 3 am, after all_

_jerrybean: oh well_

_jerrybean: i love you._

_[jerrybean went offline]_

_[gay™ went online]_

_gay™: /pm jerrybean_

_gay™: jeremy honey it's 3 am what are you doing up_

_gay™: oh my god_

_gay™: mahal_

_gay™: are you there?_

_gay™: oh of course not you're offline fucking hell_

_gay™: jeremy_

_gay™: is the squip back??_

_gay™: shit fuck gosdammjt_

_gay™: i calledj 911 i dont remeberr whag dorm youre in_

_gay™: FUCK_

_gay™: thisisnt happening_

_gay™: please pick yp your phone jermy baby please_

_gay™: ive called so maby timesnplease picn up_

_gay™: i lovekyou so much i dont know what id donwithimout you wveryone loves you you deserve life so much and you are sych a talented and smart person and you make me smile everytime i see you even when im mad nad you gove me tjsg feeling whenc fou drink hot chocolate v fast and your stomach gets reLly warm_

_gay™: pleasepleaseplease answer me_

_gay™: GODDAMNT_

_gay™: /msg squipsquad_

_[squipsquad currently has: 1 member online]_

_gay™: GUYS_

_gay™: DO ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT DORM JEREMY IS IN_

_gay™: ITS TEALLY IMPORTANT_

_gay™: LIKE THIS IS A FUCKING LIFE OR DEATH SUTUATION_

_[canoozle came online]_

_canoozle: ??? it's 3 am_

_canoozle: idk michael i'm sorry_

_canoozle: what's going on_

_gay™: FUCKING HELL_

_canoozle: seriously michael somethings happening_

_[dick came online]_

_dick: FFS WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME AT 3 AM_

_dick: why the hell would i k ow what dorm he's in? how important is this?_

_gay™: very very veyr fucking important richard_

_dick: woah we're pulling out full names now?_

_gay™: YES BRDAUSE JEREMY TRIED TO FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND ID ONT KNEOA WHAT DORM HES IN_

_canoozle: oh my god_

_canoozle: please tell my i'm dreaming_

_dick: i_

_dick: i'm sorry i didnt know god i'm so sorry_

_canoozle: did you call 911??_

_gay™: YES_

_gay™: i hoep they can find him ind time_

_gay™: i cant lose him_

_gay™: hes the only person ive had for so long i cant lose him_

_gay™: and i cant do abything about it_

_gay™: why didnt i know? why didnt he tell me? he tells me evrrything_

_canoozle: oh michael im calling you pick up_

_dick: i am too hold up_

_canoozle: hell be okay_

_[canoozle went offline]_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: jeremy support group]_

_[dick pinned a message: jeremy tried to kill himself, christine and i are talking to michael. michael's freaking out, so msg me or chris for details]_

_dick: don't tell anyone either._

_[dick went offline]_

* * *

 

_[jerrybean went online]_

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: they jjst gave me my phone back_

_jerrybean: i can only text_

_jerrybean: i mkght need s liver transplant, i uh_

_jerrybean: my survival rate isnt that high_

_jerrybean: if i get through this next week they're putting me in a pysch ward_

_jerrybean: you doont have to come see me, i get kt if you hate me_

_jerrybean: im so sorry_

_jerrybean: i fucked up everything, my future, our relationship, all my friendships, school_

_jerrybean: everything_

_jerrybean: im so sorry_

_[gay™ went online]_

_gay™: oh thabk god_

_gay™: im so glad youre okay_

_gay™: i have a plane ticket booked im gonna be there tomorrow okay?_

_gay™: hold on until then for me_

_gay™: everythings going to be alright, were gonna be alright_

_jerrybean: im so sorry michael_

_jerrybean: im so svared_

_gay™: i know mahal i know_

_gay™: but well be okay_

_gay™: ill be there soon, and i can hold you tight and everythings gonna be just fine_

_gay™: and youll be in the pysch ward for a little bit, but youre gonna get better there. and then you can go back to school if you want. and if not, thats okay too_

_jerrybean: im so sorry_

_gay™: its okay._

_gay™: it was just a mistake, it can be fixed_

_gay™: youll be just fine_

_gay™: im not going to let anything else happen to you_

_jerrybean: i missed you_

_jerrybean: as soon as inturned my phoen off i wanted to talk to ylu_

_jerrybean: i was scared_

_gay™: i know, jeremy_

_gay™: but now you have a million more chances to talk to me_

_gay™: you dont have to be scared anymore, im there, even if im not right next to you_

_jerrybean: you promise?_

_gay™: i promise._


	8. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> healing is a journey. especially with friends like these.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this lol. but it's happy k cool
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> tweeters: twitter.com/diiffindo

_gay™: /pm canoozle, dick, cupid, jake-a-cake, brookie, jennabun_

_gay™: jeremy's starting school again today so don't be dicks!!_

_dick: ...that's literally my name_

_gay™: you don't get to escape_

_gay™: i'm leaving tomorrow so he might be a little nervous_

_gay™: but he's the same jeremy we know, just a little bit in shock_

_gay™: so. again. don't be dicks_

_cupid: michael how long have you been in baltimore?_

_gay™: a few weeks, i wanted to make sure he could get back on his feet_

_gay™: i'm doing my work online_

_cupid: WHOLESOME_

_jake-a-cake: we're still on that?_

_jake-a-cake: but agreed_

_gay™: i've known him for fourteen years it's not like i wouldn't stay_

_gay™: plus i've been making sure he takes his meds and shit_

_gay™: somehow that kid went from the brink of liver failure to going back to school_

_dick: aw man they could've had a good cadaver to work on_

_brookie: RICH_

_dick: IM KIDDING IM KIDDING_

_gay™: okay that is the kind of stuff we're not going to say!_

_gay™: he's been through a lot in the last two years. we gotta take care of him and each other for awhile okay?_

_jennabun: agreed_

_jake-a-cake: yep_

_cupid: i've got jerry boy_

_dick: i'll lay back on the jokes for like a week_

_canoozle: we've got this guys!_

_canoozle: probably_

_canoozle: /pm gay™_

_canoozle: hey michael, if you don't mind me asking, why did jeremy do it?_

_gay™: /pm canoozle_

_gay™: it's fine, just don't tell anyone else_

_gay™: apparently the day was going normally, he was completely fine, and then when he was doing his homework he heard the squip. so the doctor's think he had a ptsd episode, he didn't know what to do, and that seemed like the only option to make it stop_

_gay™: i think he mentioned that the squip was pushing him to do it as well_

_canoozle: oh god poor jeremy_

_canoozle: i thought it was gone?_

_gay™: i did too._

* * *

_[jeremy support group currently has: 6 members online]_

_jake-a-cake: hey jeremy how was your first day back??_

_jerrybean: it was okay, i missed a ton of shit_

_jerrybean: so i have learned a valuble lesson. if i'm gonna kill myself i should do it right_

_gay™: JEREMIAH HEERE_

_jerrybean: IM KIDDING IM KIDDING_

_brookie: jesus christ jerry save me the heart attack next time_

_jerrybean: i had the opportunity. and i took it_

_jerrybean: nah but. i learned my lesson_

_jerrybean: always carry around mountain dew red and don't try to kill yourself when the voice in your head that no one can hear starts talking to you!!_

_canoozle: good plan!_

_gay™: yep he's started stockpiling that shit_

_jerrybean: and i'm staying shitfaced in the mean time_

_canoozle: jeremy that's illegal_

_dick: you'll fuck up your liver_

_jerrybean: yeah lol i can't drink ever again. the shit that the microsoft wanna be put me through_

_jake-a-cake: NOOOOOOOO_

_dick: i would like us to take a moment of silence for our brother in arms_

_dick: windows vista cost him the ability to drink_

_jake-a-cake: sad day._

_gay™: he's doomed to a lifetime of being a designated driver_

_jerrybean: NO FUCK I HATE BEING THE DD_

_dick: it's too late_

_dick: it is your destiny_

_dick: you will have to drive us around for the rest of your life_

_jerrybean: fuck you_

_dick: love you too_

* * *

_gay™: /pm jerrybean_

_gay™: i miss you_

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: i'll be back in a few hours, you can see me before you leave_

_gay™: i know mahal_

_gay™: but can i ask you something?_

_jerrybean: sure_

_jerrybean: hellooooo??_

_jerrybean: it's been five minutes hun you gonna respond?_

_gay™: why didn't you tell me?_

_gay™: you always come to me when you're having a panic attack, you know i'm always here... why didn't you call?_

_gay™: i almost lost yku_

_gay™: we cohouldvr prevented all of it i xant lose ryou_

_jerrybean: are you crying?_

_gay™: no why would you sqy rhat_

_jerrybean: you make typos when you're crying._

_jerrybean: i've known you for fourteen years, michael, i know your texting habits.._

_jerrybean: hello? are you going to answer me?_

_gay™: okay yes sue me_

_gay™: you couldve tols me ans none of this woudve happened_

_gay™: you were there everytime i triwd to kill myself i couldve done the same for you!_

_jerrybean: i don't know_

_jerrybean: it's the squip we're talking about, it made me feel like we were back in junior year..._

_jerrybean: i didn't want to be a burden_

_gay™: mahal you are the opposite of a burden_

_gay™: you are the fucking light of my life_

_gay™: if we werent broke college students i would buy a ring and propose to you on the spot, you will never ever be less that the most important person in my life_

_gay™: you can always come to me. i will always be here. even if i'm in boston and you're in baltimore. i'm never leaving you, jeremiah heere._

_jerrybean: really? you'd propose to me?_

_gay™: sinta i've known you for fourteen years spending the rest of my life with you is only fitting_

_jerrybean: what's stopping you?_

_gay™: we're only eighteen and i have 32 dollars and 17 cents in my bank account_

_jerrybean: point taken_

_gay™: ask me again when you've got your big surgeon paycheck and i can be your trophy husband_

_jerrybean: i love you so much_

_gay™: what?_

_jerrybean: it just hit me that. damn i love you a lot_

_jerrybean: i'm sorry for everything that happened_

_gay™: you just made a mistake. it's okay, everything worked out, didn't it?_

_jerrybean: i guess so_

_jerrybean: but i'm asking again when we get out of college you fuck_

_gay™: mahal kita, you bitch_

_jerrybean: i feel bad for our future children_

_gay™: me too, babe. me too_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaand that's pretty much the end of this arch. hope you enjoyed the angst. there will be small arcs like this in the future, and just the random conversations in between! i'm trying to capture the spontaneity of a groupchat lol


	9. the great name debate of 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy needs to adjust the user privileges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're such dorks
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> tweeters: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[jeremy support group currently has: 7 members online]_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: michaels gay]_

_jerrybean: i do not need support anymore i am a strong independent woman who don't need no man_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: jeremy support group]_

_gay™: you're too precious and always need support_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: michael wet the bed until he was thirteen]_

_gay™: YOU FUCKER_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: jeremy shit his pants sophmore year]_

_jerrybean: YOU WANNA GO CAUSE ILL FUCKING GO_

_[jerrybean changed the coversation name to: michael once punched someone and yelled IM FUCKING GAY when a girl tried to hit on him]_

_cupid: OH MY GOD REALLY THATS AMAZING_

_gay™: IT WAS A MISTAKE YOU FUCKER_

_jerrybean: YOU SUCKER PUNCHED HER_

_cupid: MICHAEL ACTUALLY HAD THE GUTS TO SUCKER PUNCH SOMEONE???_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT DONT LISTEN TO JEREMY HES A LIAR]_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: jake once used the fact that he's in a wheelchair to get a girl]_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: surprise: it didn't work]_

_cupid: THATS EVEN BETTER JAKE YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR FLIRTING_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: yeah he asked me out by saying "yeah idk man i know i cant get it up anymore but i wouldnt mind sucking your dick"]_

_jake-a-cake: THAT IS NOT FUCKIG TRUE_

_[cupid changed the conversation name to: hmmmmmm that's why rich is so fit. he's doing all the work]_

_[jake-a-cake changed the conversation name to: MY DICK IS PERFECTLY FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH]_

_[rich changed the conversation name to: yeah you get a boner whenevever they adjust your catheter]_

_[brookie changed the conversation name to: oh my fucking god]_

_[jennabean changed the conversation name to: someone please confirm i have to know this]_

_[rich changed the coversation name to: i went to the doctor with him once it was so fucking funny]_

_[jake-a-cake changed the conversation name to: rich once tried to have sex with his squip]_

_[rich changed the conversation name to: YOU FUCKER]_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: how the fuck do you have sex with something that is in your mind and is also kermit the frog]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: isn't that like. beastiality]_

_[canoozle changed the conversation name to: puppetality?]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: that works]_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: jake was the one who burnt down the house it wasn't me]_

_[jake-a-cake changed the conversation name to: YOU SAID YOUD NEVER TELL ANYONE YOU FUCK]_

_[cupid changed the conversation name to: SCANDAL]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: the hit tv show on netflix]_

_[jennabun changed the conversation name to: good joke]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: thanks bro]_

_[jake-a-cake changed the conversation name to: rich is non binary]_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOOOOOOOOOAH]_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: we do not out people!! never!!]_

_[dick changed the conversation name to: nah it's cool i wanted him to tell everyone, i didn't know how]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: why didn't you tell any of us?? we're all cool here]_

_[cupid changed the conversation name to: okay everyone state your pronouns, gender, and sexuality. this is a support group]_

_[cupid changed the conversation name to: in normal chat bc the "_ changed the conversation name to _" is getting really fucking old]_

_cupid: i will start_

_cupid: she/her, female, very fucking gay_

_jennabun: same as chlo except pan_

_canoozle: she/her, female, asexual bitchessssssss_

_jerrybean: oh is that why you didn't want to date me?_

_canoozle: nah you're not my type_

_jerrybean: rude_

_jerrybean: anyways i'll go_

_jerrybean: hey yo i'm jared, i'm nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read_

_gay™: jeremy NO_

_jerrybean: JEREMY YES_

_gay™: VINE IS DEAD_

_jerrybean: IT WILL LIVE ON_

_jake-a-cake: any-fucking-ways_

_jake-a-cake: he him. male. probably bi who fucking knows_

_dick: they.them. non-binary, prolly genderfluid idk man gender is a social construct_

_gay™: preach_

_dick: also. i'm bi_

_jerrybean: we know_

_jerrybean: "oh my god, i'm totally bi"_

_dick: shhhhhhhhhhh_

_jake-a-cake: anywAYS jerry ur turn_

_jerrybean: fucking fine. use whatever pronouns idgaf, who the fuck knows, and FUCKING BISEXUAL FUCKERS_

_brookie: how many fucking times can you put fuck into a fucking sentence jesus fucking christ_

_cupid: good joke. i approve_

_brookie: thank_

_brookie: also! she/her, female probs, G A Y_

_gay™: oh my turn_

_gay™: he/him, ftm, very gay_

_dick: H O L Y  S H I T_

_jake-a-cake: YOURE TRANS?????_

_canoozle: MICHAEL HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ANY OF US_

_jennabun: WTF NONE OF US KNEW_

_jerrybean: well i knew_

_brookie: YOU DONT FUCKING COUNT_

_jerrybean: :(_

_gay™: yeah?? i'm trans big whoop_

_gay™: how did you not notice the chest bulge for a good four years_

_jennabun: HMPH_

_dick: wait how do you have sex??_

_brookie: RICHARD_

_dick: IM K I D D I N G_

_jerrybean: that's where the bi thing comes in handy ;)))))))_

_gay™: go fuck yourself_

_jerrybean: only if you come along ;)))))))_

_[gay™ changed the conversationname to: please kick jeremy out of the gc]_

_[jerrybean changed the converation name to: i'm the owner you can't kick me out]_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: FUCK]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i love writing these but HOLY SHIT this one was annoying. i have "gay™" on my clipboard bc i can't create the tm symbol while writing normally. so that means i had to write out every fucking "___ changed the name to ___" and it's very tedious. it was fun to write but oh my fucking god unless someone helps me with it i am not writing another like this


	10. michael's friends are oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ft: danny fenton, the trans boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was kinda hard for me to write this chapter bc i'm dysphoric as all hell but i hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> tweeters: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[FUCK currently has: 7 members online]_

_gay™: yo just wondering how the hell did you guys not notice i was trans_

_jerrybean: well yknow i noticed when you started going as michael rather than_

_jerrybean: oh wait deadname nvm_

_cupid: wholesome_

_gay™: anyways jeremy you don't count_

_gay™: and you're the first person i told_

_jerrybean: goddamnit being your boyfriend and best friend really has some downsides_

_gay™: rude_

_dick: not to be rude michael but no one was really looking at you for those four years_

_dick: you kinda stay in the background_

_cupid: they're right_

_gay™: you're not wrong_

_gay™: did i really do that good of a job of staying out of the way?_

_jake-a-cake: apparently_

_jerrybean: hey but how did you not notice how much more masculine he got from junior to senior year?_

_brookie: i just thought he had a late puberty?_

_gay™: nope that's when i went on t_

_jerrybean: november 7th, 2015. he cried and kissed me for the first time in the hospital parking lot_

_jennabean: jesus that's adorable_

_cupid: you could also say it's_

_brookie: CHLOE NO_

_cupid: W H O L E S O M E_

_brookie: goddamnit_

_jerrybean: okay but what about the time in sophmore year when he had blood all over his pants?_

_jake-a-cake: idk man i thought he cut off his dick or something_

_dick: "i thought he cut off his dick or something" jacob dillinger, 2k17_

_jennabean: if he did get his dick cut off i'm guessing chloe would do it_

_cupid: .... you're not wrong_

_jerrybean: okay. what about changing in gym. how did you not notice the binder_

_gay™: i changed in the bathroom stalls_

_jerrybean: ohh_

_jerrybean: goddamn you were really stealth_

_brookie: is that the right way to use the word stealth??_

_dick: yeah, it basically refers to trans people "going stealth" so no one finds out that they're trans_

_brookie: fancy words_

_gay™: indeed_

_gay™: but my question is. how did you guys meticulously analyze and reasearch the danny phantom trans boy thing and not realize one of your friends, who was talking in that same conversation, was trans_

_jake-a-cake: i was too hung up on the fact that entire danny phantom series was a metaphor for being in the closet_

_jennabun: idk man i don't really believe that danny's trans_

_jerrybean: OKAY E X C U S E  M E_

_dick: DANNY PHANTOM IS TRANS CULTURE THANK YOU VERY MUCH_

_gay™: daniel fenton is a goddamn trans boy and you cannot convince me otherwise_

_jennabean: there's not just solid evidence_

_gay™: HE WEARS TANK TOPS AT WATER PARKS_

_jerrybean: "i would tell you to use the men's room but i don't think you qualify"_

_dick: his chest bulges sometimes. HIS GENETIC CLONE IS FEMALE_

_brookie: idk rich i agree with jenna_

_dick: G E N E T I C  C L O N E_

_jerrybean: why are the only trans people in the gc for the trans danny theory_

_jennabean: who said you were trans?_

_jerrybean: my concept of gender is quite flimsy i think i qualify_

_jennabean: fair enough_

_cupid: well i also believe it_

_gay™: you're your own seperate group_

_cupid: rude_

* * *

_brookie_ : _hey i just realized that the gc name is "FUCK"_

_brookie: we might wanna change that?_

_[jerrybean changed the conversation name to: danny fenton is a trans boy]_

_brookie: GODDAMNIT_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lowkey want to write a story of jeremy and michael's first kiss, it would be very... wholesome,, i'm not sorry
> 
> also, thank you sm for 100 kudos!! i know that's not a lot by other standards, but this is my first fic to reach 100 and it's just amazing. thank you so so so so so much for reading, i appreciate it so much more than you know


	11. an odd chain of events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a&w, the patriarchy, and dicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! thanks for reading, leave a kudos or comment telling me what you think if you want <3
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[danny fenton is a trans boy currently has: 4 members online]_

_cupid: holy s h i t_

_cupid: guys_

_cupid: guess what they're putting in by school_

_cupid: A FUCKIN A &W_

_gay™: YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THESE THINGS WOMAN_

_jake-a-cake: okay how much are plane tickets we're all going to a &w with chloe_

_jennabun: a lot but i'm a hoe for a &w and miss you guys so it's happening_

_gay™: i thought it was "i'm a slut for ___"??_

_cupid: he's right_

_cupid: no one says i'm a hoe for something......_

_jennabun: okay you all can suck my dick_

_gay™: i'm in a committed relationship just bc i'm gay doesn't mean you can say things like that to me. it's inappropriate_

_jake-a-cake: honestly same_

_jennabun: for the record hoe-ness is universal_

_jennabun: i can be a hoe for a &w all i want_

_jake-a-cake: you go girl_

_jake-a-cake: smash the patriarchy. be a hoe_

_cupid: do you actually know what the patriarchy is or did you just hear it somewhere_

_jake-a-cake: "Basically, the patriarchy is an unjust system that enforces gender roles, male dominance, and oppresses pretty much everyone. The way the patriarchy oppresses women is pretty obvious (the wage gap, slut-shaming, enforces misogyny, the objectification of women, etc.) Women of all races, religions, and sexes (yes, sexes) face oppression everyday due to the patriarchy. But, this system that you created majorly harms the ones it is supposed to be benefiting. Everyone suffers under the patriarchy."_

_jake-a-cake: from a paper i wrote freshman year about everything that's wrong with america_

_jake-a-cake: it's 8 pages long_

_gay™: you are the hero this world needs but does not deserve_

_jennabun: pls share it with me i need to carry it around and give it to guys who catcall me_

_cupid: same_

_cupid: i never thought i'd see the day where jake started becoming woke_

_[dick came online]_

_dick: *cough* it's because he started dating me *cough*_

_[dick went offline]_

_jake-a-cake: *cough* stfu *cough*_

_[dick came online]_

_dick: i am offended_

_jake-a-cake: suck my dick_

_dick: gladly_

_cupid: jesus christ get a room_

_gay™: too gay for me_

_jake-a-cake: your username is literally "gay™"_

_gay™: you know what just go and suck rich's dick i'm done_

_cupid: relax_

_cupid: but if anyone wants their dick cut off. i volunteer_

_jennabun: ...chlo what the /actual/ fuck_

_cupid: what can i say?_

_cupid: i hate the patriarchy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that paper actually exists, i wrote it a few years ago and it's an excerpt from it,, it also is actually 8 pages. it's named "i hate america", and i go over things from gun violence to the flaws in sex ed (you should really look that up, it's amazing what schools can do) and it was so fun to write. i didn't even turn it in lol


	12. the play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're becoming self aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! this one was fun to write, and i'm sorry that it's short, i'd rather have a quality short chapter than a forced long one
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> tweeters: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[danny fenton is a trans boy currently has: 6 members online]_

_canoozle: guys!!!_

_canoozle: i have cool news_

_canoozle: for an assignment i have to write a script for a play that i will put on for my final. and i got my idea approved_

_cupid: yay!!! that sounds amazing what is it_

_canoozle: ,,,junior year_

_gay™: you're making me go in the bathroom again? rude_

_canoozle: yes mikey_

_canoozle: my professor said it was very creative modern sci-fi and nothing like what he's seen before_

_brookie: maybe we should send him an xray of jeremy's head_

_cupid: I SNORTED_

_jennabun: please make our lives seem more interesting than they actually are_

_canoozle: yeah i need to make myself look good y'know_

_gay™: hey can you take out that part where i'm like. let's get stoned in my basement bc if they find it it's real i could get it trouble_

_canoozle: nah_

_jennabun: savage_

_cupid: who even says savage anymore??_

_brookie: jenna, i'm ashamed of her_

_canoozle: anyways!! brooke i need your services_

_brookie: i have been called upon_

_canoozle: can you please send costume designs to me?? or ideas?? i want to match everyone's personality to their wardrobe but i suck_

_brookie: as you wish_

_gay™: if that was a princess bride reference i'm breaking up with jeremy right now and marrying you_

_[jerrybean came online]_

_jerrybean: excuse me_

_brookie: it was_

_gay™: jeremy we're done_

_jerrybean: the princess bride isn't even that good of a movie_

_canoozle: okay EXCUSE_

_jennabun: THE PRINCESS BRIDE IS A CLASSIC_

_jerrybean: like once mr. you-killed-my-father guy appeared i was bored_

_jennabun: INIGO MONTOYA IS MY HUSBAND_

_gay™: how DARE you disrespect inigo montoya_

_jerrybean: honestly the only good scene was when they were fighting in rhythm_

_canoozle: at least he appreciates that_

_gay™: HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THE BEST IDEA_

_gay™: christine do you need scoring for your play??_

_canoozle: you don't have to but that would be awesome_

_gay™: good bc i got such a good idea for a theme_

_gay™: jeremy you princess bride-hating bitch call me_

_jerrybean: real creative insults_

_jerrybean: but fine_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_[gay™ went online]_

_gay™: wait_

_[gay™ changed the conversation name to: IN CON CIEVABLE]_

_gay™: there_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_cupid: why did i ever join this gc_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a link for the essay from last chapter bc i can't format it nicely on mobile:
> 
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AdYGLxCcskJLP8lR0_brtjA2eYIeWxqBRcr0PBf1CAc


	13. the best time to wear a striped sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sweater funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so you know how it said jenna roland/chloe valentine in the tags for 12 chapters? yeah well i changed my mind and i didn't develop their relationship SO that never happened lmao
> 
> tumbles: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[cupid came online]_

_cupid: /pm brookie_

_cupid: F U C K_

_brookie: /pm cupid_

_brookie: what's wrong??_

_brookie: is something going on? are you hurt?_

_cupid: I RUINED THE SWEATER YOU GAVE ME_

_brookie: ....okay, not as large of an emergency as i expected_

_cupid: NO IT IS_

_cupid: ITS THE ONE YOU GAVE ME FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY_

_brookie: i can always make you a new one, you have like ten sweaters i made for you_

_cupid: NO BUT IT WAS MY FAVORITE ONE_

_cupid: I HAVE SO MANY ASSOCIATIONS WITH IT_

_brookie: chloe, your therapist told you that you need to work on all those associations_

_cupid: i knowwwwww brooky but i can't help it with that sweater_

_brookie: fine_

_brookie: how bad is it?_

_cupid: UGH.jpg_

_brookie: chloe i love you but WHAT THE FUCK_

_brookie: how do you even fuck up a sweater that bad??_

_cupid: I TRUSTED A PUPPY_

_cupid: I DONT TRUST IT ANYMORE IT RUINED MY FAVORITE SWEATER_

_brookie: evidently_

_cupid: i cried for an hour over it!_

_brookie: oh man_

_brookie: i can make you another one like it?_

_cupid: no it's not the same_

_brookie: are you sure? i still have the pattern_

_cupid: no brooke it's okay_

_brookie: it's obviously not, i want to do something_

_brookie: maybe we could have a funeral for it?_

_cupid: a funeral for a sweater?_

_brookie: why not? the gc has done weirder_

_brookie: i mean we once made michael wear a dress bc we wanted to see if we recognized him pre-t and made him ft jeremy and he almost booked a ticket to boston bc he thought michael was having an identity crisis_

_cupid: omg i forgot about that_

_brookie: that was a definining moment in gc history how could you forget??_

_cupid: idk man_

_cupid: but thank you for reminding me babe, i'm for a sweater funeral_

_brookie: it'll give you closure! and stop you from hating the puppy_

_cupid: oh i forgave it like five minutes after it happened but i'm still v sad about it_

_cupid: i've had it for forever it has so many memories, i don't want to lose it_

_brookie: i know, but it's just a sweater. you gotta remember that you can't have everything as a time capsule,, i don't want to live with a horder_

_cupid: ,,,,,,,agree to disagree_

_brookie: why do i put up with you_

_cupid: bc you love me_

_brookie: you're pushing it_

_cupid: RUDE_

_brookie: /msg IN CON CIEVABLE_

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 8 members online]_

_brookie: y'all_

_brookie: long story short a puppy ruined chlo's favorite sweater and she's way too attached to inanimate objects_

_cupid: /msg IN CON CIEVABLE_

_cupid: i am betrayed_

_brookie: anyways_

_jerrybean: wow that's harsh_

_brookie: ANYWAYS WERE HAVING A SWEATER FUNERAL BITCHES_

_gay™: okay??_

_jennabun: mikey we've done much weirder_

_jennabun: remember milwaukee?_

_jerrybean: what's milwaukee??_

_gay™: a very well-kept secret_

_jennabun: yep we are never speaking of it again_

_jerrybean: i'm conCERNED??_

_gay™: MAHAL WE HAVE A SWEATER FUNERAL TO GET TO_

_jake-a-cake: which sweater was it??_

_cupid: the blue one_

_dick: oh shit i loved that one, i still want brooke to make me one like it_

_brookie: nope_

_brookie: i have more important matters to attend to. like sweater funerals_

_brookie: plus then EVERYONE would want a sweater and i don't have time for that_

_dick: rude_

_brookie: ANY-FUCKING-WAYS_

_brookie: who would like to say a few words?_

_jennabun: i will_

_jennabun: uh. it was a good sweater, chloe let me wear it once at hoco bc i was freezing my ass off and it was really comfy. i know it meant a lot to her too_

_gay™: dear sweater, you may have passed on into the afterlife but this gc will always remember you. you were very comfy, i once spilled like a bottle of soy sauce on you and chloe almost murdered me so,,,,,, you were very loved. and still are since we're having a funeral_

_jake-a-cake: yes i was there when that happened and we almost had to take michael to the er, you were very loved_

_jerrybean: why didn't i know about this??_

_dick: idk man you kinda disappeared for like 3 months after the squipcident_

_cupid: did you just call it the squipcident_

_dick: yes, chloe. yes i did_

_jerrybean: yeah lol i was in the pysch ward bc of the squip_

_jerrybean: proceed_

_jake-a-cake: you're just gonna say you were in a pysch ward for 3 months and then move on???_

_jerrybean: yes_

_jerrybean: again. proceed._

_jake-a-cake: i_

_jake-a-cake: okay_

_dick: well i really liked it and i'll take the scraps_

_canoozle: maybe you could take the scraps and make it into a new sweater??_

_cupid: THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA CHRIS IM ACTUALLY CRYING_

_cupid: BROOKE_

_brookie: yes i can_

_cupid: I LOVE YOU SM_

_gay™: pda_

_cupid: i don't think that word means what you think it means_

_gay™: was that_

_cupid: yes_

_brookie: WERE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY ABOUT THE SWEATER_

_jerrybean: yes_

_jerrybean: it was a pretty lit sweater_

_brookie: aaaaaand we're done_

_brookie: go in peace, dear sweater. and help me make an even litter sweater_

_jerrybean: AW YEEEEEES_

_dick: why did i ever join this chat_

* * *

_brookie: /pm cupid_

_brookie: i just got the scraps and i'm gonna start on the sweater tonight_

_cupid: /pm brookie_

_cupid: thank you so much_

_cupid: you have no idea how much this means to me_

_cupid: just. god. i love you so much_

_brookie: i'd do anything for you, and if it means making a sweater out of the remaining two inches of sweater, it's worth it_

_brookie: i love you too_

_brookie: but i'm not having a funeral next time_

_cupid: who says there'll be a next time??_

_brookie: have you met you?_

_cupid: RUDE_

_brookie: you know i'm right_

_cupid: it would help if you wouldn't be right all the time_

_brookie: that's never happening_

_cupid: i hate you_

_brookie: love you too boo_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just for the record the jpg in this doesn't lead to anything, i couldn't find a good picture y'know
> 
> thanks for reading!! i got this from a prompt and it turned into this


	14. the 2017 academy awards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this doesn't have to do with the chapter but i just wanna say i came out to my parents and they know i'm trans !! also thank you sm for 200 kudos, i love you all <3
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 4 members online]_

_jake-a-cake: YOURE RIDICULOUS_

_[jennabun came online]_

_jennabun: all caps? what did i miss_

_gay™: OKAY MOONLIGHT WAS GOOD, YAY GAY PEOPLE IM GAY ENOUGH, BUT LA LA LAND'S MUSIC SHOULDVE GIVEN IT THE AWARD_

_jennabun: okay_

_jerrybean: they've been ranting for an hour_

_dick: 63 minutes and 23 seconds, to be exact_

_jerrybean: we're timing how long we can say random shit until they actually respond_

_jennabun: ooh fun_

_jennabun: but wasn't the oscars like 8 months ago?_

_jerrybean: yep_

_jake-a-cake: ARE YOU FORGETTING THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN MOONLIGHT? THERES SO MUCH SYMBOLISM, JUST THAT WOULD OVERRULE LA LA LAND, AND THATS NOT EVEN COUNTING THE STORY_

_dick: that doesn't seem to be stopping them_

_jennabun: honestly i'm not surprised_

_dick: we've made a bet that whoever can get them to snap out of it first has to buy the other a &w_

_jennabun: goddamn the stakes are high_

_jennabun: i'm in. and i'm throwing in shake along with our usual bet_

_jerrybean: you're confident_

_jennabun: you know it_

_gay™: LIKE LA LA LAND DOESN'T HAVE GOOD CINEMATOGRAPHY? HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN THE PLANETARIUM SCENE? THE AUDITION SCENE? PLUS THE STORY IS A REAL LOVE STORY AND ABOUT ARTISTIC STRUGGLES, NOT SOME COMING OF AGE STORY THAT EVERYONES SEEN BEFORE_

_dick: honestly i think shrek should've won_

_jennabun: rich that came out in like 2002_

_dick: so?_

_dick: it's a good movie_

_jerrybean: ted cruz is the zodiac killer_

_dick: ????_

_jerrybean: michael's a slut for outdated memes_

_jennabun: who isn't?_

_jerrybean: very true_

_jake-a-cake: OH HONEY THAT WAS NOT A REAL LOVE STORY. A REAL LOVE STORY WOULD BE THEM COMMUNICATING, FIRST OFF, AND NEITHER OF THEM ACHIEVING THEIR DREAMS BECAUSE WHO ACTUALLY GOES TO A GODDAMN JAZZ CLUB_

_jake-a-cake: AT LEAST MOONLIGHT IS REAL AND SHOWS THE PROGRESSION OF ONE PERSON AND THE STRUGGLES OF RACE AND SEXUALITY, NOT SOME WHITE FILM THAT MADE A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS CRY_

_jennabun: damn_

_jennabun: did they ever stop to think that it could be a conspiracy that they mixed up best picture? gets more views when you majorly fuck something up. i mean, when it happened at the world beauty pagent or whatever everyone lost their shit_

_gay™: HOW DARE_

_jerrybean: oh?_

_gay™: IT IS A STORY ABOUT PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS. ITS NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE. AND HAVE I EVEN MENTIONED THE MUSIC, HOW IT FITS PERFECTLY WITH THE CHARACTERS AND MAKES IT EVEN MORE REAL, ONLY COMPLIMENTING THE ACTORS AND THE EMOTION IN THEIR SONGS? JUST LOOK AT THE AUDITION SCENE AND COME BACK NOT BEING MOVED AT ALL, I DARE YOU_

_dick: UGH_

_dick: i thought we got them_

_jerrybean: me too_

_jerrybean: it's time to pull out_

_jerrybean: *puts on sunglasses*_

_jerrybean: the big guns_

_jennabun: never do that again_

_jerrybean: ;)_

_jerrybean: our poor, sweet gay that everyone loves, michael theodore mell, once got really drunk at a party and got arrested for underage drinking, disorderly conduct, and attacking an officer_

_dick: holy shit??_

_[cupid came online]_

_cupid: i saw arrested in my notifs and i had to see what was up_

_cupid: jeremiah lee heere you best not be fucking with me_

_cupid: because if this is true.... this is the best goddamn thing i've heard in my life_

_jerrybean: i assure you i am not_

_jerrybean: his friend nicole once dragged him to a party, and he drank something with a shit ton of vodka or something and it was like 100% alcohol_

_jerrybean: so. like. the cops show up at this party and somehow michael trashes their yard and hits the police officer in the head with a baseball bat_

_jennabun: OH MY GOD_

_jerrybean: he was mortified and i had to bail him out. to this day his parents still don't know_

_dick: mikey has a wild side_

_jennabun: man if that doesn't get them to stop idk what will_

_jake-a-cake: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS THE MOST STEROTYPICAL MOVIE IVE SEEN. EVEN THE LYRICS, ITS SO HOLLYWOOD. AT LEAST MOONLIGHT IS ACTUALLY MEANINGFUL_

_jerrybean: now we wait_

_gay™: DO NOT DISRESPECT LA LA LAND LIKE THIS. JUSTIN HURWITZ IS A GOD AND THE SCORE FITS THE MOVIE PERFECTLY_

_jerrybean: GODDAMNIT_

_dick: haha_

_dick: not even telling their darkest secrets will stop them from arguing_

_dick: that's commitment_

_jerrybean: true but i really thought that would work_

_jake-a-cake: THEN YOU STOP DISRESPECTING MOONLIGHT_

_jennabun: okay this is my last resort,,, here goes nothing_

_jennabun: hey michael remember how suicide squad won an oscar?? don't you love that movie??_

_[jennabun left the chat]_

_dick: what??_

_gay™: WE DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME HERE_

_jerrybean: YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME_

_gay™: SHE CAN COME BACK WHEN SHE BEHAVES_

_dick: THATS WHAT WORKED??????_

_jake-a-cake: come on mikey suicide squad isn't that bad_

_[jake-a-cake left the chat]_

_gay™: I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS INJUSTICE_

_dick: dude he's messing with you, jake_ _hates that movie_

_gay™: ..................fine_

_gay™: i'm trusting you richard_

_[jake-a-cake joined the chat]_

_jake-a-cake: jared leto is a wonderful actor and the joker x harley quinn is such a good ship_

_[jake-a-cake left the chat]_

_gay™: the next person who even dares think about that movie is getting murdered_

_cupid: aaaaaaaaaaand that's my cue to leave_

_cupid: adios dudes, michael you need to be more chill_

_jerrybean: CHILL? WHY TF DID YOU HAVE TO USE CHILL_

_jerrybean: I AM EMOTIONALLY SCARRED CHLOE YOU CANNOT BRING THESE THINGS UP_

_cupid: sounds like you need to chill out_

_[cupid left the chat]_

_dick: ....okay then_

_dick: anyways jeremy you and i owe jenna a &w_

_jerrybean: FUCK ME_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why i made them love a&w but they do and i regret nothing
> 
> also i learned michael in the bathroom on piano by ear and it's one of my greatest achievements,,, i might post a cover at some point idk


	15. ¡no me digas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gorgeous! linda! tell me something i don't know...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter with four different languages, i'm taking spanish so enjoy this shit
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 3 members online]_

_gay™: hola putas_

_cupid: i may not know spanish but at least i know what puta means, you bitch_

_gay™: muy creativa_

_gay™: es no suprendes tú paraste la classe de espanol_

_cupid: what_

_gay™: ¿tú no comprendes?_

_cupid: no?_

_gay™: yo veo_

_gay™: tambíen, tú necesitas dos signos de interrogación_

_gay™: es muy importante_

_jerrybean: hun you don't need to make fun of her grammar now_

_cupid: you know spanish too??_

_cupid: goddamnit_

_jerrybean: nosotros debemos poner la palabra chloe en las frases aleatorias_

_cupid: now you're talking about me?? you're really gonna make me use google translate. really._

_gay™: sí jer. y sí chloe. ¡es obvio!_

_cupid: i actually hate you_

_gay™: nosotros amamos tú_

_jerrybean: no, no me gusta chloe_

_gay™: ¡no me digas!_

_jerrybean: nah, yo amo chloe_

_cupid: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME_

_gay™: sí, tuviste un enamoramiento pequeño con chloe_

_jerrybean: ¿¿no??_

_gay™: ya, tú tuviste mientras brooke fue tus acompañante_

_cupid: now brooke is in this?? I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAVE TO LOOK THIS UP IM LEAVING THIS GC_

_jerrybean: NO NO NO YO_

_jerrybean: FUCK I DONT REMEMBER THE WORD FOR DIDNT_

_cupid: join the club_

_jerrybean: I HATE PAST TENSE_

_jerrybean: TÚ MINTIENDES_

_gay™: ;)_

_jerrybean: I HATE YOU_

_gay™: love you mahal_

_cupid: oh GREAT i just remembered that michael can speak three languages!! great!! two more than i can!!_

_gay™: oo naman_

_cupid: i actually hate you_

_[brookie came online]_

_brookie: je t'adore, mon chérie_

_cupid: OH FFS_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so basically they're making fun of chloe and michael is insisting that jeremy had a crush on her
> 
> i'm sorry, some of the conjegations are probably wrong!! i took french last year, which was a mistake, and this is my first year of spanish since sixth grade so,,, i had to look up like half the stuff, pls forgive me if it's wrong
> 
> EDIT: i finally edited my really shitty spanish (it was so bad? i'm so sorry to any spanish speakers) so it should be better now? and slightly more understandable? i have no idea where tf i got some of those translations. there may be some minor errors but it think it's readable now


	16. no me gusta traducir, pero las personas preguntaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> english translation from the last chapter bc i love you guys and am on a boring two hour car ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff that was in a different language is bolded. simplified translation, it loses some of the comedic value being translated but y'all want to actually read it so,,,, i delivered
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 3 members online]_

_**gay™: hello bitches** _

_cupid: i may not know spanish but at least i know what puta means, you bitch_

**_gay™: very creative_ **

**_gay™: it's not a surprise you dropped out of spanish_ **

_cupid: what_

**_gay™: you don't get it?_ **

_cupid: no?_

**_gay™: i see_ **

**_gay™: also, you need two question marks_ **

**_gay™: it's very important_ **

_jerrybean: hun you don't need to make fun of her grammar now_

_cupid: you know spanish too??_

_cupid: goddamnit_

**_jerrybean: we should put the word chloe in random sentences_ **

_cupid: now you're talking about me?? you're really gonna make me use google translate. really._

**_gay™: yes jer. and yes chloe. it's obvious_ **

_cupid: i actually hate you_

**_gay™: we love you_ **

**_jerrybean: no, i don't like chloe_ **

**_gay™: no way!_ **

**_jerrybean: nah, i love chloe_ **

_cupid: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME_

**_gay™: yes, you had a crush on her_ **

**_jerrybean: ¿¿no??_ **

**_gay™: ya, you had it while you and brooke were together_ **

_cupid: now brooke is in this?? I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAVE TO LOOK THIS UP IM LEAVING THIS GC_

**_jerrybean: NO NO NO I_ **

_jerrybean: FUCK I DONT REMEMBER THE WORD FOR DIDNT_

_cupid: join the club_

_jerrybean: I HATE PAST TENSE_

**_jerrybean: YOU ARE LYING_ **

_gay™: ;)_

_jerrybean: I HATE YOU_

_gay™: love you mahal_

_cupid: oh GREAT i just remembered that michael can speak three languages!! great!! two more than i can!!_

**_gay™: of course_ **

_cupid: i actually hate you_

_[brookie came online]_

**_brookie: i love you, my dear_ **

_cupid: OH FFS_


	17. jer's theme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...IM WAITING FOR MY PORNO TO LOAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough* if anyone were to make art for this i would actually die *cough*
> 
> tumblr: alecj.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

~~ ~~ _[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 5 members online]_

_[gay™ came online]_

_gay™: YOOOOOOO_

_jake-a-cake: michael it's 2 am tf do you want_

_dick: why are you up at 2 am if you're not willing to put up with random shit_

_jake-a-cake: ...fine_

_gay™: AN Y WAYS_

_gay™: i finished the first draft of a song for chrissy's play and SHIT is it poppin_

_brookie: i'm just gonna pretend that yoi didn't say that last sentence to preserve our friendship_

_gay™: you're stone cold, woman_

_gay™: but do you wanna hear it??_

_dick: i swear to god michael if you link me to that "what the fuck, richard" vine with the volume x100 i am going to murder you in your sleep_

_dick: but proceed_

_gay™: click at your own risk_

_gay™: jeremystheme.mp4_

_brookie: MICHAEL THEODORE MELL WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LINK ME TO A REDDIT 50/50 WITH SOME DUDE GETTING BUGS INJECTED INTO HIS DICK_

_gay™: oops sorry i had it on my clipboard to send to jer_

_gay™: therealjerstheme.mp4_

_jake-a-cake: ...holy shit that's actually really good_

_gay™: it's not the finished product, it needs a lot of work_

_dick: no seriously that's amazing_

_gay™: thanks guys_

_gay™: i want to put it at the beginning of the squip song as well_

_brookie: the squip song??_

_brookie: is that bitch in here too?_

_gay™: oh oops sorry_

_gay™: it's the song where rich tells jer about the squip. i only have the chorus and hook,,, it's a really stupid song_

_dick: nO it sounds amazing_

_jake-a-cake: lemme guess. cause you're in it._

_dick: CAUSE IM IN IT!_

_jake-a-cake: how'd i know...._

_dick: you must be really smart_

_dick: ANYWAYS HOW DOES IT GO_

_gay™: i only have the lyrics, i haven't recorded anything yet_

_dick: I STILL WANT TO SEE RICHARD GORANSKI IN ACTION_

_gay™: ...okay_

_gay™: i haven't had enough late night conversations with you to know if this is normal or not_

_jake-a-cake: be glad about that. cause it is_

_gay™: kay then_

_gay™: "it's from japan. it's a gray, oblong pill. quantum nano technology cpu. the quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it impants in your brain and tells you what to do..."_

_gay™: "so it's like... drugs?"_

_gay™: "it's better than drugs, jeremy. ITS FROM JAPAN"_

_gay™: you basically scream that last part_

_dick: AWESOME_

_dick: screaming? i'm in_

_brookie: rich you're not actually cast in the play_

_dick: I CAN LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH MY CHARACTER BROOKLYN_

_gay™: the idea for the first verse is literally you saying how much you sucked in freshman year_

_jake-a-cake: that must be a long verse_

_dick: i don't have to stand for this_

_gay™: too bad, i'm the one writing the lyrics_

_dick: goddamnit_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao don't ever feel obligated to make art for my work pls. it's a jokeeee (but if anyone ever does pls link me to it)


	18. king for a day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael protection services™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y’know how i said there was gonna be funny and serious chapters? welp this is one of the serious ones. hell of a lot of dysphoria bc i am currently dysphoria incarnate so like. don’t read it if you feel uncomfortable 
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_gay™: /pm jerrybean_

_gay™: hey jer. can we talk?_

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: why is there proper capitalization oh my god are you breaking up with me_

_gay™: nonononononono_

_gay™: just_

_gay™: i dont know mahal i just need to talk_

_jerrybean: of course_

_jerrybean: what’s up? miss me too much and you had to interupt be during my all-nighter?_

_gay™: youre doing work? im sorry, i can go_

_jerrybean: no babe it was a joke_

_jerrybean: something’s wrong. what is it?_

_gay™: no you wouldnt get it and wont care, it’s fine_

_jerrybean: okay micah that is your “i’m planning on killing myself” text tone so if you don’t tell me what’s going on i’m calling 911 and booking a flight to boston_

_gay™: jesus christ jeremy it’s fine_

_jerrybean: uh, no it’s not?? you are going to talk to me and not bottle everything up and hurt yourself again_

_jerrybean: as your boyfriend, best friend, and person who cares about you, i will not allow it_

_jerrybean: michael theodore mell stop scrolling through tumblr to ignore me_

_gay™: okay what the actual fuck that’s creepy_

_jerrybean: you act like i haven’t known you for 14 years_

_jerrybean: now what’s up??_

_gay™: fine_

_gay™: just. my binder shrunk in the wash. and i’ve worn out like 20 of them already and don’t have enough money to buy another and no one else i know does_

_gay™: and i don’t have any sports bras bc my roommate is lowkey homophobic and probably transphobic and how the hell do i explain owning a sports bra_

_gay™: i haven’t left my goddamn dorm room in three days_

_jerrybean: how do you eat?_

_gay™: i... don’t think i have_

_jerrybean: oh micah_

_gay™: i’m sorry i just can’t get the energy to get up_

_gay™: i can’t even look at myself. i’m disgusting_

_gay™: i just feel so fucking gross and just. not right. you have no idea how bad it is jer_

_gay™: everything about me feels so wrong. and horrible. i want to tear my fucking skin off jeremy i cant take this_

_jerrybean: shh_

_jerrybean: it’s okay micah_

_gay™: nono its not none kf thks is okay_

_jerrybean: come on darling pick up your phone. i’ve called you five times_

_gay™: i cant jeremy i just cant_

_gay™: im sk horrible you dont deserve me_

_jerrybean: micah. you will never be less than the goddamn light of my life, my universe, whatever_

_jerrybean: and i know it hurts. i know you think everything about you is terrible. but you’re tired and hungry and it only makes that feeling worse. and i know i don’t know what it’s like, but you need to tell me. because i’ll always be here for you and you can get through this_

_jerrybean: michael. please._

_gay™: it hurts so much jer_

_jerrybean: i know, micah, i know. you just gotta get through this part and you’ll be okay_

_jerrybean: i promise._

_jerrybean: now, please, pick up._

_gay™: ookay_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m projecting my problems onto michael and i’m not sorry


	19. someone set a fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and it wasn’t rich??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y’all i got SUCH a good idea for a fic. i don’t think anyone’s done it either and just. i’m really excited for it. sadly i have to finish a fic before i start it (probs emdw because it’s only 10 chapters) but stay tuned for that!! in the meantime: 
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 5 members online]_

_gay™: hey jer how would you feel about wearing an eminem shirt_

_jerrybean: no_

_canoozle: awesome_

_jerrybean: why are you asking me about an eminem shirt?? isn’t he dead??_

_canoozle: uh. jeremy what play am i currently writing?_

_gay™: it’s actually a musical, thank you very much_

_jerrybean: oh right_

_jerrybean: i kinda sorta burned that shirt_

_gay™: damn i forgot about that_

_gay™: he sent me a picture with no context and i called 911_

_gay™: good thing bc he almost burnt down the woods behind his house down_

_canoozle: ????_

_dick: i heard fire and i’m always game for a good arson story_

_gay™: okay so_

_jerrybean: you’re actually telling this? it wasn’t that exciting_

_gay™: oh but it was_

_gay™: so. jeremy has a huge-ass backyard. like fit-another-house-in-there kind of huge. maybe even two houses_

_canoozle: those are called acres, michael_

_gay™: fine. acres._

_gay™: anyways he has a forest that weaves through the neighborhood surrounding his yard. this is after the play, it’s fall, and there’s a hell of a lot of leaves. you could probably fill an olympic-sized swimming pool with the amount of leaves that were in it_

_dick: i like where this is going_

_canoozle: of course you do_

_gay™: his dad made him clean all of the leaves out of the yard and burn them, kind of as a punishment bc we all know jeremy a. doesn’t do physical labor and b. doesn’t go outside_

_jerrybean: rude_

_gay™: so he puts all the leaves in a pile by the treeline bc that’s where they always burn leaves, apparently. he has a small pile he’s burning first, then a larger pile that he’ll put in the smaller one with the eminem shirt near it. that’s not really important to the story but i mean you wanted to know how he burned his shirt_

_gay™: so. it’s worth noting that it was a particularly windy day_

_canoozle: oh no_

_dick: oh YES_

_gay™: anyways it’s really dry and windy and jeremy decides that, of course, this is good day to start a fire! he lights the small one, and it kinda sorta. jumps to the bigger one. and this one is significantly closer to the tree line_

_gay™: and it kinda. builds. a lot. it’s like 30 feet at this point, and of course jeremy’s not there because why the fuck should you pay attention to a fire on a windy day_

_jerrybean: HEY i went inside to get water and send that picture to you_

_jerrybean: and it wasn’t 30 feet, you liar_

_gay™: uh, yeah it was?? it was on the news, and there are still scorch marks on the trees_

_jerrybean: there totally isn’t! i would notice tall-ass scorch marks on the trees in my own backyard_

_gay™: honey you didn’t notice when your mom left how would you notice scorch marks on trees_

_jerrybean: okay now that is loW_

_dick: aw, look at them fighting like an old married couple_

_jerrybean: SHUT UP RICH_

_gay™: SHUT UP RICH_

_gay™: GODDAMNIT_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> michael and jer sent that last text at the same time if that joke wasn’t obvious,, anyways thanks for reading!!


	20. the halloween special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess what day it almost is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL KAWAII-NEKOTATO ON TUMBLR MADE ART FOR THIS FIC AND IT’S AMAZING!! CHECK IT OUT HERE:
> 
>  
> 
> [art!!](https://kawaii-nekotato.tumblr.com/post/166829964166/alecjb-here-ya-go-sorry-it-took-me-so-long-i)
> 
>  
> 
> if ya wanna give me more art or something or just want to say hi, you can find me on tumblr!!
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 8 members online]_

_gay™: HEY YALL KNOW WHAT DAY IT ALMOST IS_

_canoozle: bob ross’s birthday?_

_gay™: well yeah but_

_jennabun: winona ryder’s birthday_

_gay™: again, yes, but_

_brookie: frank ocean’s birthday?_

_gay™: yEs but seriously_

_cupid: julia robert’s birthday?_

_gay™: WOULD YALL CHILL_

_gay™: ITS FRICKING HALLOWEEN_

_dick: *almost halloween_

_gay™: fuck off rich_

_jake-a-cake: dude why are you so excited for halloween??_

_gay™: BC ITS THE BEST HOLIDAY_

_jerrybean: eh. christmas is better_

_jake-a-cake: agreed_

_gay™: how dare you disrespect halloween like this. to think that i believed you all were my friends_

_brookie: don’t worry mikey i’m with you, i always make my costumes and they’re Lit_

_gay™: yes!! what are you going as??_

_brookie: edward scissorhands_

_gay™: while i do not approve of jonny depp YES bc i love edward scissorhands_

_jerrybean: do you even,,, realize how backwards that is_

_gay™: shut up and let me enjoy that movie_

_gay™: it’s not like you’re going as anything better_

_jerrybean: EXCUSE ME hawkeye is a perfectly good costume_

_canoozle: it’s not even hawkeye the superhero it’s hawkeye the guy from m*a*s*h*_

_jerrybean: c’mon m*a*s*h* is awesome!!_

_canoozle: ...okay i can’t argue with you on that but other hawkeye is better_

_jerrybean: if anything, michael is the one with the bad costume_

_gay™: do not insult mr. robot like this._

_jerrybean: no ones even heard of that show!!_

_gay™: you’re the only one in this gc that hasn’t watched it_

_jerrybean: not true_

_canoozle: well i’ve watched it an i love it_

_jake-a-cake: me too_

_rich: i have too and rami is a babe_

_cupid: i’ve watched it and i second that_

_brookie: ^^^^^^^^^^_

_jennabun: tyrell is a dlif in my opinion_

_brookie: ^^^^^^^^^_

_cupid: tyrell williams is a gay icon_

_canoozle: bi actually_

_cupid: whatever_

_gay™: see!!_

_jerrybean: fine you win_

_jerrybean: anyone else have a costume i can make fun of to reclaim some self esteem?_

_cupid: i’m going as cheryl blossom_

_dick: hey!! i’m going as jason!!_

_jake-a-cake: i wanted us to go as betty and jughead but he refused to be betty_

_dick: just bc i’m nb doesn’t mean you can automatically put me in a blonde wig and a dress_

_jake-a-cake: rich. you literally wore a dress yesterday_

_jerrybean: EXPOSED_

_dick: ANYONE ELSE WANNA SAY WHAT THEYRE GOING AS_

_jennabun: i’m going as frenchy_

_brookie: from grease??_

_jennabun: hell yeah_

_brookie: omg yes send me a picture i want to see you with pink curly hair_

_cupid: what about you, christine??_

_canoozle: i’m going as wanda and my datemate is going as cosmo!!_

_dick: 1. that is adorable_

_dick: 2. SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A PARTNER_

_canoozle: i met xem at orientation and we really hit it off!! xyr really sweet_

_brookie: forgive me if i’m being ignorant but how can you have a partner if you’re asexual?? i’m just. confused_

_canoozle: well i can still like ppl romantically i just don’t like them. physically. yknow_

_brookie: oooooooooH i see_

_brookie: what’s xyr name?_

_canoozle: eri!!_

_brookie: dude you need to introduce us to xym pls_

_jennabean: yes bc i am now the only single person in this gc and,,,, i don’t know where i was going with that i’m just nosy_

_canoozle: relatable_

_canoozle: and i will,,,, eventually_

_gay™: yo we should have a halloween party and invite eri_

_jake-a-cake: the last two times we had a halloween party rich burned down my house_

_dick: we all agreed that it was you once i exposed you_

_jake-a-cake: shut up_

_jake-a-cake: anyways my house burned down and the second time, senior year, jeremy got so drunk that he hugged someone and thought he was cheating on michael, then proceeded to call the police and cry to them, prompting them to come to the house and see a bunch of drunk teenagers that had once burned down a house_

_gay™: wait WHAT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN_

_jerrybean: I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN JACOB_

_jake-a-cake: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but honestly her art is so amazing i just. love it a lot, it’s so cute. this is just an example of how i will actually die if anyone makes art for this
> 
> also some easter eggs about this chapter (cause they’re about me): i wanted to be either edward scissorhands or hawkeye for halloween but i ended up going with mr. robot,,, i love riverdale (i’m actually wearing a south side serpents shirt today)  
> when i was experimenting with gender and names and pronouns, i used eri for a really long time!! i still love that name, but alec james/aj/alec/jamie just works better (and feel free to call me any of those names just listed) 
> 
> anyways i love u all thanks for reading and check out my other shit!! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	21. a christmas story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wholesome content right here folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, so stop by and say hi! 
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 3 members online]_

_brookie: yo jer_

_jerrybean: ye?_

_cupid: i’ve never seen ye used with a question mark_

_brookie: me neither_

_brookie: but anyways_

_brookie. jeremy. you’re jewish. all about that jew life_

_jerrybean: i mean yeah,,, i do a lot of stuff i’m not supposed to and i’m not very religious but i like. still believe in stuff y’know_

_brookie: so you’re like. an agnostic jew_

_jerrybean: i have no idea what the hell that means but sure, i’ll go with it_

_jerrybean: was that your question or...?_

_brookie: no_

_brookie: even if you’re not all that religious. how is christmas your favorite holiday_

_jerrybean: darn i was wondering how long i could keep saying that before someone noticed_

_jerrybean: you ruined my 18 year streak_

_cupid: lmao_

_cupid: so you were just joking??_

_jerrybean: nope_

_jerrybean: my mom was good friends with michael’s moms when she was still around,,, honestly that’s the only thing she was good for_

_cupid: JEREMY SHE BIRTHED YOU_

_jerrybean: SHE WAS A BITCH CHLOE_

_jerrybean: anyways at the holidays, his moms invited us over for christmas, and my mom, in the one good action she ever committed, said yes and said they had to come over for a day of hannuka_

_jerrybean: and every year since then, even after my mom left, i spend christmas eve with micah and he spends a day of hannuka with me_

_cupid: that is so cute oh my god_

_jerrybean: ye_

_jerrybean: last year we played a drinking game with spiked eggnog and a dreidel_

_brookie: oh my god_

_jerrybean: if hell existed, i would be going there_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recorded my michael in the bathroom piano cover,,, my computer overheats really easily and also sucks so i can’t record my screen/upload the audio file anywhere, which sucks. i’ll upload it eventually, and maybe do a cover with vocals (but it’s not really fit for my voice rip)


	22. sweet transvestite from transsexual, transylvania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “don’t get strung out by the way i look,  
> don’t judge a book by its cover  
> i’m not much of a man by the light of day,  
> but by night i’m one hell of a lover”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so WHOO BOYOYBOY LOTTA STUFF TO SAY
> 
> matiion on tumblr made art for this and it’s adorable!! i get so excited when ppl make art for this or even comment, y’all are the best. go see their art [here](http://matiion.tumblr.com/post/166956383870/this-fic-by-alecjb-is-fuckin-quality-honestly) n say somethin’ nice!!
> 
> so you know that fic that i had an idea for?? i’ve been developing the idea and i want to write it so badly but i’m trying to exhibit self restraint. the thing is, my other fic, “michael and jeremy get it on”, idk if i want to write another chapter?? you guys pls decide for me. if i don’t do another chapter, the new fic will be out slightly sooner. if not, then it takes longer but you get two?? vote [here](http://www.strawpoll.me/14277892)
> 
> the caption and title?? you might wanna read the chapter/watch rocky horror picture show
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](alecjb.tumblr.com) bois

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 3 members online]_

_jake-a-cake: ppl keep asking me if using a wheelchair as part of my costume imma stab a bitch_

_dick: hun no we don’t need a repeat of mr. i can heal you_

_jennabun: is that what we’re calling him now?_

_dick: idk i just thought of something_

_jennabun: damn i was going for mr. cthulu_

_jake-a-cake: mr. cthulu?_

_jennabun: ye bc i sounds like he’s part of a cult_

_jake-a-cake: do you know anything about cthulu?_

_jennabun: absolutely nothing_

_jennabun: it just sounds like a cult_

_dick: you’re probably not wrong_

_jake-a-cake: i have no hope for either of you_

_jennabun: as you should_

_dick: heY he’s my boyfriend he should have faith in me_

_jake-a-cake: i have you as a datemate. i beg to differ_

_jennabun: damn_

_jennabun: ANWAYS jake what are you going as for halloween?? you never told us_

_jake-a-cake: oh lmao_

_jake-a-cake: it’s embarrasing_

_dick: jacob dillinger. you went on for an hour telling me how excited you were for it_

_jake-a-cake: not for an hour, you liar_

_dick: i recorded you. if you could’ve stood up and jumped around the room you would’ve_

_jennabun: that’s adorable_

_jake-a-cake: shut up_

_jennabun: but seriously what is it??_

_dick: he’s the transvestite from rocky horror picture show_

_jennabun: HOLY SHIT YOURE KIDDING ME_

_jake-a-cake: ????_

_jennabun: THAT IS MY FAVORITE FUCKIN MOVIE_

_jake-a-cake: oh my goddD_

_jake-a-cake: I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT KNEW ABOUT IT_

_jennabun: FUCK NO IVE WATCHED THAT SO MANY TIMES_

_jennabun: FRANK IS THE BEST CHARACTER_

_jake-a-cake: YES._

_jake-a-cake: I GOT HIS JACKET AND EVERYTHING!!!_

_jennabun: OMGOMGOMG YES_

_dick: y’all are adorable_

_jake-a-cake: sshhhHhJhHHHHH_

_jennabun: omg_

_jennabun: jake is this your way of coming out?_

_jake-a-cake: ....undecided_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have any of you watched rocky horror picture show?? it’s so confusing but Quality
> 
> i was looking through the bookmarks and someome tagged:
> 
> “boyf riends arson bros Pinkberry Christine Canigula/Asexuality gayyyy 
> 
> I didn’t bookmark it when I first saw it a n d I ‘ m s t r e s s e d”
> 
> ty to whoever did that you made my day


	23. i am hanging in the bathroom...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know the song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!talk about suicide in this chapter!! this chapter was suggested in the comments last chapted by “tobias”! i won’t always take requests, but if there’s something you want to see, leave it in the comments and i might just write it :-)
> 
> also you guys know that fic i was talking about?? i’m not writing it right now, but i’m writing a different one and it’s SO fun. it’s based on will connolly’s cover of cecily smith, it’s set in the 1945-1965 and focuses on mike and jer but feautres: ex-marine jeremy, struggling musician michael, gay-for-someone-across-the-country rich, gay-for-someone-across-the-country (and got caught for it) jake, and christine saving everyone’s asses. i’m aiming for 10k words (i’m at about 4.5k right now and have been writing on and off for 2 days) and can i just tell you guys. it’s gonna be so fun. if you’re an artist, watch out for when i release it bc i’m doing something with the epilogue that features your art!! i’m so excited for it, and i usually don’t say this but i really hope it does well bc i’m so proud of it.

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 8 members online]_

_brookie: y’all i got pretty much everyone’s outifts down for chris’ play_

_gay™: really?? what are they like?_

_brookie: well jeremy has a striped shirt and that goddamn cardigan_

_jerrybean: that is a good cardigan, thank you very much_

_brookie: i gave michael this awesome hoodie with a bunch of patches and a huge-ass pair of headphones_

_gay™: i need to see the hoodie. mine is old and boring_

_brookie: okay so these are only the patches. there’s also a pride, nasa, and pac-man patch. i’m also trying to make an apocolypse of the damned one, cause that’s the name of the game you two love_

_brookie:[mrmellshoodie.jpg](https://78.media.tumblr.com/7de455162efebe251ed930df4d122866/tumblr_ot06nxvGWF1wok9xdo1_500.jpg)_

_gay™: 1. why can’t you just use legend of zelda @ christine_

_gay™: 2. HOLY SHIT THATS AMAZING I NEED IT ONCE YOURE DONE WITH IT IN YOUR PLAY_

_brookie: it even has part of a joy divison cover on the back. the wavy one_

_gay™: HELL YES_

_gay™: it’s unknown pleasures_

_brookie: yes that one_

_canoozle: i love it so much thank you brooke_

_canoozle: it fits michael so well!! i know what to get him for christmas now_

_gay™: ...pls_

_canoozle: but mikey how is the music going?_

_jerrybean: he has been talking to me about it for an hour. it’s adorable_

_gay™: shhhh_

_jerrybean: no seriously he sang me a part from michael in the bathroom and then had to stop bc he was smiling too much. it’s so good and so cute_

_gay™: shut uppppppp_

_jerrybean: i do this bc i love you_

_gay™: i wish you wouldn’tttttttttt_

_dick: kay i just hopped in what’s michael and the bathroom_

_jake-a-cake: me too_

_brookie: they come back at the same time... suspicious_

_cupid: me three_

_gay™: oh how the turntables_

_jerrybean: I JUST SNORTED_

_jennabun: oh jeremy_

_dick: anyyyyyways what tf is “michael in the bathroom”? like i know you had a panic attack in a bathroom but we all have_

_jake-a-cake: rich that’s rude_

_dick: just telling it how it is_

_gay™: no it’s just a song in christine’s play. the one where i have a panic attack in a bathroom_

_cupid: how does it go?_

_jerrybean: it’s so fucking catchy i’ve been humming it all day_

_gay™: STOP IM BLUSHING_

_jerrybean: thats what i was put on this earth to do. i can die in peace now_

_dick: wholesome_

_cupid: HEY THATS MY THING_

_jake-a-cake: anyways! give us a snippet_

_gay™: i don’t have anything recorded that i’ve transported to this computer but i can give you part of the lyrics_

_gay™: this is the end part_

_gay™: “wish i stayed at home in bed watching cable porn, or wish i offed myself instead, wish i was never born. oh, i’m just michael; who’s a loner, so he must be a stoner. rides a p.t. cruiser, god! he’s such a loser. michael flyin’ solo, who you think that you know_

_gay™: “michael in the bathroom by himself, all by himself (x2) and all you know about me is my name. awesome party, i’m so glad i came.”_

_dick: that’s ... really sad_

_jake-a-cake: agreed_

_gay™: what?_

_jennabean: i mean you got the panic attack feeling down,,, but it is really sad for us_

_canoozle: you really wanted to die?_

_gay™: i mean... yeah_

_cupid: since when? i didn’t know this_

_brookie: what chloe said but in a gentler way_

_gay™: you didn’t?_

_gay™: i tried to kill myself a few times, did you guys not know?_

_brookie: WTF NO_

_canoozle: this is news for us michael!!_

_gay™: i... thought i told you_

_jerrybean: no, i was the only one you told_

_jerrybean: i was the one you adressed your letter to 3 out of the 4 times_

_dick: THERE WAS FOUR TIMES????_

_jerrybean: yeah_

_gay™: i... don’t get what the big deal us_

_jake-a-cake: michael. we are all your friends. and you just told us you tried to kill yourself four times_

_jennabun: it’s a bit,,, no a lot of a shock_

_gay™: i guess i didn’t think it was that big of a deal_

_canoozle: nonono this is a very big of a deal_

_gay™: ii’m sorry_

_jake-a-cake: i mean it’s fine, but when_

_gay™: uh, twice soohmore year, once junior nd once senio r_

_dick: senior year??_

_brookie: senior year?_

_cupid: senior year?_

_gay™: yeaah? summer of_

_gay™: you were all on tthat class of 2016 roadtri p_

_canoozle: oh my god_

_jennabun: that’s why jeremy left_

_gay™: yeab_

_jerrybean: /pm canoozle, jake-a-cake, jennabun, dick, cupid, brookie_

_jerrybean: y’all you’re overwhelming him_

_dick: /pm canoozle, jake-a-cake, jennabun, jerrybean, cupid, brookie_

_dick: how do you know?_

_jerrybean: he doesn’t like talking about this_

_jerrybean: and he makes typos when he’s crying_

_dick: oh shit_

_dick: shit we made him cry?_

_jerrybean: yep_

_dick: i feel so bad_

_dick: /pm IN CON CIEVABLE_

_dick: yo michael, i just realized, are we overwhelming you a bit?_

_gay™: yeah a bit_

_canoozle: we’ll stop questioning you_

_brookie: but just know you can come to us for anything, okay?_

_cupid: any of us. we mean it_

_gay™: thank you_

_gay™: and okay_

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: hey. you okay?_

_gay™: /pm jerrybean_

_gay™: yeah i guess_

_gay™: they all just kept freaking out and asking questions and i don’t want to think about that anymore because then i just think of you_

_gay™: it was just a lyric_

_jerrybean: micah i’m so sorry to ask, but why do you think of me_

_gay™: i just_

_gay™: because every memory i have of suicide is with you. that time when you ran to my house in eight grade because i told you i found a bottle of pain killers and was gonna take them. or when in sophmore year you wrapped my arms in ace bandages and called 911 like twenty times. and later that year when yelled at me_

_gay™: do you remember that? whenever we talk about that attempt you never bring that up. but you were screaming, jeremy, you were screaming and sobbing  and begging to be let into my hospital room because i had flatlined and doctors were running in and out and you thought you lost me. you were scratching at your skin until it bled and begging for it to be you instead and i could see you, mahal, i could see you. i don’t know how but i did_

_gay™: and then there was junior year where you fucking whipped me with a piece of rope because “michael mell, you fucking idiot, how DARE you do this. i better not see you with a piece of rope around your neck because when you die, i’m going along with you”_

_gay™: or senior year when you drove across the country and cried by my bedside and i pretended to be sleeping. cause i didn’t know how to face you. you held my hand the entire night and that was the first time that you kissed me after an attempt. and it somehow made everything okay_

_gay™: but i hate it. i hate thinking about those times because then i think about you. you, the one thing that all the shitty things in my life could never corrupt. the countless times you saved me, and you don’t deserve to be associated with that memory. but you are. and then there was the one time where you were the reason, when i was having a panic attack in a goddamn bathroom, and i will never forgive myself for it._

_jerrybean: michael_

_jerrybean: i’m so fucking sorry_

_jerrybean: i didn’t think you would know that one time in sophmore year, i didn’t want you to feel bad_

_jerrybean: but i was the reason? even if it was once, i was the reason?_

_gay™: yeah_

_jerrybean: sinta im so fucking sorry_

_jerrybean: i never, ever, ever want anything bad to happen to you. and that goddamn squip may have caused all of this to happen, but i’m the one who told it to let me ignore you. and look wherre that got me_

_jerrybean: i never wanted any of this to happen. i was your protector. i still am, i try my absolute fucking hardest to protect you even if you don’t ask for it. but i will do anything i have to so i can make up for the fact that i was the reason_

_jerrybean: i’m so sorry michael. i’m so sorry_

_gay™: you know what you can do to make it up to me?_

_jerrybean: i will do anything micah, i swear_

_gay™: just keep being the jeremy i love_

_gay™: we don’t need to think about it, it’s all in the past. all you need to remember is how much i love you_

_gay™: because i love you so much, and there is nothing you could do for me to hate you_

_jerrybean: i love you too_

_jerrybean: so goddamn much_

_jerrybean: and i’m so sorry_

_gay™: i know. but we don’t have to worry about it_

_gay™: now call me so i can sing you to sleep_

_jerrybean: we’re still doing this?_

_gay™: i’ll do anything for the boy i love_

_jerrybean: and i the same_

_[gay™ went offline]_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> headcanon that michael sings jeremy to sleep when they have bad nights bc it calms both of them down and they love each other a lot okay
> 
> i’ve been listening to fly by night and my god to i love it. plus will’s version of cecily smith!!! i started learning it and have it down pretty well :-)


	24. secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy really needs to work on his lying abilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my bmc book finally arrived and i just finshed it but page 80. i’m sorry i haD TO also. fun fact. MICHAEL MELL CANONICALLY HAS A WHITE BOY AFRO
> 
> and i kinda have been going this whole time without having brooke in the tags? so she’s... there now
> 
> anyways stop by and say hi to me on tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 5 members online]_

_gay™: hey jer remember that time you jerked off to my voice_

_jake-a-cake: rich grab the popcorn_

_dick: already on it_

_jerrybean: you’re a fucking liar michael mell_

_cupid: 1. oh my god i cannot wait to hear this_

_cupid: 2. rich and jake. are you two together?_

_dick: yep, i drive up there every once and awhile cause i have all morning classes on fridays_

_dick: plus. by some miracle. my profs yesterday were sick/gone and my friend facetimed me during my lecture today so i can hang out with jake_

_cupid: sure, your profs were sick, suuuuure_

_jake-a-cake: they were actually lol_

_jake-a-cake: and their prof asked why he could hear somone singing something from a “badly written musical”_

_jake-a-cake: big surprise, it was rich_

_dick: and for the record it was in the heights. good musical. 10/10 lin is a genius_

_gay™: okay fun cool and agreed but i need to_

_gay™: *puts on glasses* spill some tea_

_cupid: oh please do_

_jerrybean: whatever he says is a FUCKING LIE_

_jake-a-cake: suuuure_

_gay™: okay y’all. jeremiah heere. chronic masturabator all of high school, and also had a massive crush on me_

_jerrybean: he lies already_

_cupid: really? bc i believe it all_

_jerrybean: well i did jerk off a lot until the squip fried me and destroyed my sex drive. and i didn’t really know i had a crush on him until after the squip_

_dick: like my bi thing?_

_jerrybean: exactly like your bi thing_

_jerrybean: but mikey which time are we talking about_

_jake-a-cake: oh damn we need more popcorn rich_

_gay™: no don’t it’s an inside joke_

_cupid: what??_

_jerrybean: a long story for another time_

_jerrybean: but michael still will be lying as he continues just for the record_

_cupid: you’re covering your ass so hard, jeremiah heere_

_gay™: but ANYWAYS_

_gay™: so like. he calls me and he sounds all kind of outta breath and he says, and i quote_

_gay™: “hey mikey, missed you and just wanted to hear your voice”_

_gay™: the kid saw me three hours ago_

_cupid: jeremy you’re not good at this whole “smooth thing”_

_jake-a-cake: your mac daddy game couldn’t be more limp_

_jake-a-cake: but like mac daddy when it comes to men. mac 2nd dad?_

_gay™: OH MY GOD IM USING THAT_

_dick: what do you have to cover for yourself jeremy?_

_jerrybean: i’m a very skinny and unathletic person_

_jerrybean: i get out of breath walking up stairs_

_jake-a-cake: relatable_

_rich: jake_

_jake-a-cake: i said nothing richard_

_cupid: so did you just walk up your stairs?_

_jerrybean: yes! cause i had to go all the way down to the basement to grab my phone and walk up two flights to get to my room_

_cupid: how long did this short of breath-ness go on for, michael?_

_gay™: pretty much the whole call, especially towards the end, where he hung up saying “hey, i gotta go” and just. hung up_

_dick: things aren’t lookin good for you jer_

_jerrybean: i have asthma and my father was calling me down to dinner. there_

_gay™: your dad didn’t cook!_

_jerrybean: my squip made me go_

_gay™: kid this was before you had a squip_

_dick: oooooooooh boyo_

_cupid: jer’s screwed_

_jake-a-cake: agreed_

_cupid: does jerry even have asthma?_

_gay™: no_

_dick: what do you have to say for yourself, jeremy?_

_jerrybean: all evidence is circumstantial and it is a constitutionally held right to remain silent_

_jerrybean: and to have a lawyer_

_cupid: oh you’ll be needing one honey_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bmc the book is so much different than bmc the musical. it has a disappointing lack of michael freakin mell and the squip isn’t really evil? he’s just trying to do the best for jeremy and kinda malfunctions y’know
> 
> also i started watching voltron bc my friend told me to and. shit i like it. i have like 20 series i need to watch this is Too Much for me


	25. burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rich has a bad night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!talk about self harm in this chapter!! ayo! here’s some more angst. ik you all like funny chapters, which i promise there will be, but i have to take out my problems on something lol
> 
> ANYWAYS i’m working on a different fic and i need someone to beta it (finding one ahead of time cause i’m about 35% done with it) but!! if you’re interested, message me on tumblr!! :)
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_dick: /pm jake-a-cake_

_dick: jake_

_dick: jakey wake up_

_dick: please i need help_

_[jake-a-cake came online]_

_jake-a-cake: /pm dick_

_jake-a-cake: rich it’s like 3 am what the fuck do you_

_jake-a-cake: oh_

_jake-a-cake: what’s wrong?? are you okay??_

_dick: nonono it’s fine you can go back to sleep_

_dick: i don't need anything it’s okay i’m sorry i bothered you_

_jake-a-cake: rich, i’m your boyfriend, you can come to me for anything_

_jake-a-cake: and above that, i’m your friend. and i care about you. so what’s wrong_

_dick: everything hurts_

_jake-a-cake: are you safe? did you relapse?_

_jake-a-cake: cause if you did i’m not mad i just... need to know. i need to know you’re safe_

_dick: it wasn’t anything bad_

_dick: it’s fine_

_jake-a-cake: rich._

_dick: it’s just. i cut my hand on a doorframe and it started bleeding and it hurt but... it was good_

_dick: but now i want to do it again, i need that feeling because my scars hurt so fucking much_

_dick: it’s like i’m still in that house, still screaming while flames ate at me. it hurts so fucking much_

_dick: i want to tear my skin off i need to_

_jake-a-cake: rich_

_dick: jake i can’t handle this anymore i need to i’m sorry i’m sorry_

_jake-a-cake: richie._

_jake-a-cake: put that fucking knife down._

_dick: what?_

_jake-a-cake: i know you well enough to know that you’re holding a knife to your wrist right now_

_jake-a-cake: put. it. down._

_jake-a-cake: i don’t care how much you want to, you’re not going to. you’re not going to because you’re stronger than that. you’re stronger than the seventeen year old kid who wore long sleeves for months because they were hiding something. you’re stronger than the kid who wasn’t able to wear their favorite shirt for the fear that someone would judge their scars._

_jake-a-cake: you’re stronger than the kid that held a knife to their wrist and pushed down. you don’t have to be them anymore._

_jake-a-cake: please, richie. do it for you, because you know you don’t have to. you can get through this. and i’ll be there for you._

_jake-a-cake: i’ll get out of my chair and walk to you_

_jake-a-cake: okay?_

_dick: okay._

_dick: i put the knives in a lockbox, it would take me awhile to get them_

_dick: thank you jakey_

_jake-a-cake: that’s what i’m here for_

_jake-a-cake: you never need to go through this alone again. that house, those scars, they’re all behind us._

_jake-a-cake: it’s just you and me_

_dick: just you and me_

_dick: i like the sound of that_

_jake-a-cake: of course, bc i said it_

_dick: you’re an idiot_

_dick: i love you._

_jake-a-cake: i love you too_

_jake-a-cake: now call me i’m all awake and i want to talk to you_

_dick: no my voice is gross rn_

_jake-a-cake: mine is too. we’ll be gross together_

_dick: you’re lucky i love you_

_[dick went offline]_

_[jake-a-cake went offline]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know that kind of depressed state you get late at night (or anytime) where you literally have no effort to do anything? not even brush your teeth? well that’s me rn and i’m writing this to make me actually do something. the content probably doesn’t bode well on my mental state but i get bad nights like everyone else. life just sucks sometimes ig


	26. cramps? more like literal hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> periods suck but friends are cool!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is me trying to lighten myself up after getting my period (which is not a fun thing for a trans guy!!), having god awful cramps (i ended up getting ibuprofen from my friends and taking it on a nearly empty stomach for the past two days), and feeling nauseas to the point where i’ve hardly eaten anything! i have rock climbing team practice tomorrow wish me luck boyos
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_[IN CON CIEVABLE currently has: 6 members online]_

_gay™: yo. ppl with uteruses_

_cupid: i have been summoned?_

_brookie: that’s me_

_christine: i thought it was uteri_

_jennabun: i think it’s either way??_

_jake-a-cake: why did you say people with uteruses? couldn’t you just say_

_jake-a-cake: oh wait nvm i answered my own question_

_cupid: jeez jake transphobic much?_

_jake-a-cake: I REALIZED MY MISTAKE CHLOE_

_gay™: ...you tried_

_gay™: also jake you don’t have a uterus why are you here_

_jake-a-cake: damn am i not welcomed in my own gc?_

_jennabun: jeremy made it_

_jake-a-cake: i mean this in a loving way but jesus christ i wish you didn’t know everything all the time_

_jennabun: i get that a lot_

_gay™: this is the uterus bros or other hoes_

_gay™: you are not a uterus bro_

_brookie: oh my god_

_[brookie changed the conversation name to: uterus bros and other hoes]_

_canoozle: honestly just put a comma after uterus in mike’s last message and it gets 10% better_

_cupid: holy shit_

_jake-a-cake: okay i realize i am not a uterus, bro_

_jake-a-cake: i will watch and give witty insight when needed_

_canoozle: oh, it won’t be_

_cupid: DAMN CHRISTINE COMING OUT HERE WITH THOSE SICK BURNS_

_cupid: SOMEONE GET SOME ALOEEEEE_

_gay™: ...wtf_

_gay™: ANYWAYS my duderesses with uteruses_

_jennabun: it only gets better_

_gay™: how does one deal with cramps when i’m too broke to get ibuprofen_

_brookie: it’s like 10 bucks and don’t you have a nurse or medic or something??_

_gay™: 1. i am broke as fuck and do not have 10 bucks. any money i have rn i need for food_

_gay™: 2. we do but they’re scary_

_jennabun: relatable but mikey, why do you have cramps?? don’t those go away after awhile when you’re on t?_

_gay™: yea usually but my body hasn’t really gotten the memo that, hey, maybe my fucking uterus should MAYBE, IDK, FUCKING STOP TRYING TO KILL ME_

_canoozle: i knew that’s what it was trying to do_

_jennabun: it’s a widely accepted fact at this point_

_gay™: but seriously pls give me help bc they hurt really bad?? like they’ve always been just uncomfortable but for some reason they hurt like a bitch. and i have a pretty high pain tolerance. i had to email my profs bc i can’t go to class it hurts so bad_

_cupid: okay so stop holding your breath_

_gay™: doesn’t that help tho?_

_cupid: you wanna get more fucked up?_

_brookie: listen kid. you may not get bad cramps often but we do. so you best listen to us if you want help_

_canoozle: actually i don’t get cramps_

_brookie: okay except for this luck son of  a bitch christine over here who has never gotten cramps bc god looked upon her and said “yeah. i’ll make her the bitch with no cramps that everyone complains about”_

_jake-a-cake: is it your time of the month?_

_[jake-a-cake left the chat]_

_brookie: okay now that that’s done_

_canoozle: i was slightly offended but that makes up for it omg i love you_

_brookie: love you too boo_

_cupid: no but seriously. heating pad._

_jennabun: heating pads are the best goddamn invention_

_brookie: honestly i’m surprised they don’t market them for ppl with periods_

_gay™: i don’t have a heating pad_

_jennabun: hot water bottle works too_

_gay™: sweet_

_gay™: what else?_

_cupid: pressure points_

_brookie: dark chocolate_

_jennabun: hot baths_

_brookie: camomile tea_

_cupid: stretch_

_jennabun: put your legs underneath you like you’re kneeling and lean forward_

_brookie: that one’s good_

_brookie: drink water_

_cupid: drink water_

_jennabun: drink water_

_gay™: wait, i’m not sure, should i drink water?_

_cupid: you’re such a little shit mikey_

_gay™: ;)_

_gay™: no but seriously thank you guys cause i’ve been dying all day_

_jennabun: we’ve gotchu_

_brookie: that’s what the period pals are for_

_cupid: can we trademark that?_


	27. rich the walking calculator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> squips suck but sometimes they’re fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i got a ko-fi?? i figured since it’s the holidays and i’m gonna be releasing some pretty big stuff i’d make one. i feel bad about getting money from people (even when i take photos i never feel like i should get paid. but i’m kinda broke rn) so half of what i make every month is gonna go to a charity!! 
> 
> so if you wanna buy me a coffee, the link’s down below! i posted some pictures i’ve taken as well if you wanna check that out (the resolution sucks bc most of them were 5k but they're apparently too big which is bullshit. but whatever)
> 
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi  
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_jerrybean: yo rich. what's 2/150 * 2.5_

_dick: .034_

_cupid: okay hold up there's some witchcraft going on here_

_cupid: rich. just answered that in like 5 seconds_

_cupid: how the fuc_

_jerrybean: they're basically a walking calculator_

_canoozle: you're gonna need to provide some context?_

_jerrybean: somethin with their squip i think_

_dick: yeah, i was already good at math but my squip taught me how to do equations really quickly and improve my memory_

_dick: i basically have a dumbed down version of sherlock's mind palace_

_cupid: man i want a mind palace_

_cupid: maybe i should get a squip_

_jerrybean: okay yeah have fun destroying your school and spending months in a psych ward bc there was a voice in your head telling you what to do_

_cupid: ...point taken_

_canoozle: okay but the real question is. what does your mind palace look like_

_dick: jake's old house. the one that got burned down_

_canoozle: why that one? isn't your mind palace thing supposed to be someplace you know really well_

_dick: yes_

_canoozle: so....?_

_jerrybean: chrissy._

_canoozle: oh_

_dick: yeah i spent most of my time at jake's house before it burned. things weren't very good at my house y'know_

_canoozle: i guess_

_dick: but anyways i know the most random shit now. there's a closet of random things i may need to know at some point_

_dick: try me out boyos_

_cupid: what's the pythagorean thereum_

_jerrybean: wtf is that. it sounds made up_

_dick: a^2 + b^2 = c^2_

_jerrybean: or not_

_canoozle: jerm you were in honors geometry_

_jerrybean: i only passed that class bc i cheated off of you in tests_

_canoozle: ........_

_canoozle: you're doomed without me_

_jerrybean: true_

_canoozle: ooh but i have one_

_canoozle: what is dolokhov?_

_cupid: what's a dolokhov_

_dick: anatole's friend, a crazy good shot. also not that important_

_dick: and dolokhov is fierce, helene is a slut, anatole is hot, marya is old-school, sonya is good, natasha is young, and andre isn't here_

_dick: that one was easy. i knew that entire song by heart before i had a squip_

_dick: i introduced it to you!_

_canoozle: welp_

_jerrybean: how do we know you're not looking this up_

_cupid: he responded within 30 seconds_

_jerrybean: okay true_

_jerrybean: oh wait here's one_

_jerrybean: what did i say to you the first time i met you_

_dick: "sorry i slapped your dick"_

_cupid: OKAY CONTEXT PLEASE_

_canoozle: good thing jake isn't here he would mcflip_

_jerrybean: i accidentally slapped his dick_

_canoozle: is that a thing people do?_

_jerrybean: no. cause it was an accident_

_cupid: i'm still not catching on_

_dick: he just accidentally slapped my dick man. it happens_

_cupid: OKAY BUT HOW_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally mikey was gonna be in this chapter. ya wanna know why he wasn't? bc i'm too lazy to search for and copy and paste the tm sign. i hate myself


	28. all that i know-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the very definition of a not good™ situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY ARE YALL SO HUNG UP ON THE “SORRY I SLAPPED YOUR DICK” FROM LAST CHAPTER?? IVE NEVER GOTTEN THAT MANY PEOPLE COMMENTING ON ONE THING IN A CHAPTER. IS “SORRY I SLAPPED YOUR DICK” GOING TO BE MY FUCKING LEGACY
> 
> i was looking through the bookmarks again and whoever wrote that whole thing on la la land v moonlight. that made my day thank you. and i have like 16 things in my inbox bc apparently like 5 people decided to read this entire thing or something?? also, final note, i’m over here fuckin ugly crying bc i rewatched interstellar and i fucking lose it every time i watch that movie
> 
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi  
> alecjb.tumblr.com

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_gay™: opinion: jeremiah lee heere is the world’s best fuckin boyfriend_

_jake-a-cake: opinion: richard laurence goranski smashes jeremy’s ass when it comes to world’s best fuckin partner_

_jennabun: don’t take jake’s text out of context_

_jake-a-cake: fuck_

_gay™: okay but rich doesn’t count?? they’re a datemate, not a boyfriend_

_jake-a-cake: they both have dicks_

_gay™: okay well ur not wrong_

_gay™: but jeremy is still better you fuck_

_jake-a-cake: HOW_

_gay™: he just. is. he’s the most supportive and kind person ever_

_jake-a-cake: so is rich! they always make me laugh and while they can be supportive to almost a fault, they’re not hesitant to kick your ass back in line when you’re doing something stupid_

_jake-a-cake: jeremy dissolves in tears every time he says something even remotely mean or commanding_

_gay™: okay but we can blame the squip for that. it made jer manipulate people and he’s basically terrified he’ll do it again. so he does everything to build you up_

_gay™: he sits and listens to me swear profusely while i’m writing music (cause i fuck up a lot) just because he doesn’t want to miss anything and wants to be supportive. but rich can be too hyper sometimes to just be. there_

_jake-a-cake: the squip is also to blame there. it made rich “chill out” instead of letting him be all bubbly and hyper and just. rich. like they used to be._

_jake-a-cake: they’ll cheer you on for as long as you need it (and longer) and on the times where i feel like shit they’re there for me. maybe not in a jeremy kinda way, but i’ll call them and listen to them whistle while they’re doing homework and there’s nothing more comforting than that_

_jake-a-cake: i love that they’re hyper. i love that their hair color changes like every week because it’s just them. it’s rich. it took forever to get that rich back and i’m sure as hell not losing it_

_gay™: /pm jake-a-cake_

_gay™: shit jake what you just said got me thinking_

_gay™: oh shit shit shit shit shit shIT_

_jake-a-cake: /pm gay™_

_jake-a-cake: what????_

_gay™: this is a very not good situation. the goddamn definition of not good_

_jake-a-cake: can you tell me what the hell is happening??_

_gay™: okay. so i’ve been writing music forever. and i usually call jeremy because he gives me advice_

_jake-a-cake: oh god_

_gay™: he always gives me commentary. he’s always been supportive and shit but he’s been. quiet. he’s naturally quiet but gets louder once you know him. these last few months, on literally everything he usually banters with me with he’s been quiet_

_gay™: jake he hasn’t been this quiet when he was talking to me since junior year_

_jake-a-cake: shit_

_jake-a-cake: what does this mean?_

_gay™: i_

_gay™: i think it means that the squip is back and he didn’t tell me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))))))
> 
> anyways. i’m legit fucked up rn cause i just realized. i’m a content creator?? i’m a writer?? and a musician?? and a photographer?? WHAT THE F U C K
> 
> but seriously you don’t understand how fucked up i am over this though. i started out doing this just for fun but now i legitimetly write things. i have a quota that i try to reach every week, and i have “fans”??? like you’re all readers obviously and i love you guys so so much but it just fucks me up because i kinda?? have a fanbase?? not even a fanbase just a group of people who keep coming back to read my stuff???????? i’m in high school, honestly, i don’t deserve the title of “content creator” or “writer”. my bios are either “a self-centered artist, self-obsessed artist” or “a kid who writes shit” bc i don’t feel like a writer! i’m too young, none of this is professional, i write almost all of these works on my phone, i don’t feel like a writer! but i guess i am?? this is fuckin me UP
> 
> in other news imma start posting covers of songs and maybe some original stuff. which makes me technically a musician SHIT


	29. -is it just smoke and mirrors?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squip enters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE’RE BACK BOYS
> 
> this one is a wild ride. i tried out something different with a call log, but it still has this whole freshman year feel i’ve built. this is stricly dialogue, so it’s a really fun challenge to portray what’s going on in only what the characters say. tell me what you guys think, i hope you like it!!
> 
> in other news, if this is out, that means i released new stuff. read whatever you want! new bmc fic isn’t out yet, i finished it and it just needs to be beta’d. it’ll be out soon !
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_jake-a-cake: oh fuck_

_jake-a-cake: why would he not tell you?_

_gay™: i don’t know!_

_gay™: he tells me everything and after that one time there’s no fucking way he can survive with the squip for long_

_gay™: he tried to kill himself the first time it happened_

_gay™: SHIT THIS IS REALLY NOT GOOD SITUATION_

_gay™: fuck jake what do i do_

_jake-a-cake: call him. if we’re right, none of us can risk it. too many people love him to just stand back and watch this happen to him_

_gay™: you’re right_

_gay™: do you have like 50 bucks to spare?_

_jake-a-cake: ...why??_

_gay™: i have a bad feeling i’m going to need a plane ticket._

* * *

_Call Log 11/22/17 - Span: 0:05:01_

_0:00:00 - jer: Hey, what’s up?_

_0:00:06 - mikey: Nothing much. Are you okay?_

_0:00:16 - jer: Yeah. Is that what you called about? I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m fine._

_0:00:30 - mikey: Who the hell says sentiment anymore?_

_0:00:36 - jer: Educated people, unlike yourself._

_0:00:45 - mikey: Very funny. I’m laughing my ass off right now._

_0:01:03 - mikey: But, seriously, Jer. This isn’t your typical brand of humor. Well it kind of is, but the delivery is off. Like you’re reading it off something._

_0:01:27 - mikey: Goddamnit, you know what I mean._

_0:01:32 - jer: I really don’t._

_0:01:40 - mikey: Okay, Jeremy, cut the bullshit. I know your SQUIP is back._

_0:02:07 - mikey: Hello?_

_0:02:19 - mikey: You still there?_

_0:02:25 - jer: Yeah._

_0:02:30 - mikey: You wanna explain what’s going on?_

_0:02:37 - jer: Not really._

_0:02:41 - mikey: Ay dios mio, Jeremy. Usually I’d be nicer but you’re worrying me._

_0:02:50 - jer: I’m sorry._

_0:03:00 - mikey: Did the SQUIP tell you to say that?_

_0:03:11 - jer: Maybe._

_0:03:15 - mikey: Oh my god, Jeremy, go drink some Mountain Dew Red!_

_0:03:30 - jer: I can’t._

_0:03:34 - mikey: Okay, what? I just... what? Why can’t you?_

_0:03:49 - jer: He says I can’t, he’ll- shit!_

_0:03:58 - mikey: What? What’s wrong? Are you okay, Jer?_

_0:04:04 - jer: Yeah, he just sh- would you fucking stop?_

_0:04:11 - mikey: Excuse me?_

_0:04:15 - jer: Not you, th- okay would you fucking shut up for maybe five seconds?_

_0:04:24 - mikey: Jeremy, that really doesn’t sound good. Are you okay?_

_0:04:31 - jer: He’s telling me to say yeah, but..._

_0:04:45 - jer: Yeah, I’m fine._

_0:04:49 - mikey: You’re lying._

_0:04:51 - jer: He, uh... can I text you?_

_0:04:57 - mikey: Please do._

_0:05:01 - jer disconnected the call_

* * *

_gay™: /pm jerrybean_

_gay™: okay, may i ask, what the fuck is going on_

_gay™: this isn’t good i’m really worried jer. i can’t let anything bad happen to you again_

_jerrybean: /pm gay™_

_jerrybean: he’s trying to get me to block you_

_jerrybean: he’s also really fucking loud i cant talk or think_

_jerrybean: fuxk mikey hes gonna make me_

_jerrybean: i thought i could handle it i dont wanna bother yku and put you through that again_

_gay™: it’s okay mahal_

_gay™: please tell me what’s happening. i  can’t help if i don’t know what’s happening_

_gay™: it’s okay jeremy. it’ll be okay_

_jerrybean: no it wont it wont i fucked everything up again_

_jerrybean: i didnt tell you. i didn’t tell you that he was there in the hospital he was telling me wverything to say i dont even think i was there_

_jerrybean: it doesnt feel like im here and now hes threatening to take over and kve been fighting him for so long mikey_

_jerrybean: it hurtsithurts it hurts i havent slept in so long bc he csnt take over i can feel him trying to but i canticanticant_

_jerrybean: hes gonna make me hurt you and i cant hurt you id rather die_

_jerrybean: my arms fucking hurt_

_gay™: shh its okay. it’s okay mahal we’ll fix this_

_gay™: why do your arms hurt?_

_jerrybean: hes being a fucking cunt_

_gay™: reasonable_

_gay™: is_

_gay™: is that it?_

_jerrybean: i mean_

_jerrybean: im so sorry mikey_

_gay™: its okay_

_gay™: please don’t worry about it jer, we can fix that later_

_jerrybean: no we cant michael im so sorry i messed everyhint up i cant_

_gay™: yes you can. he won’t control you jeremy_

_jerrybean: yes yes he will hes gonna take me over and go and hurt you and everythings gonna be fucked up nd hes gonna leave and im gonna have tk dral with all of it_

_jerrybean: he says its all part of the plan to make me popular and he has to get rid of you_

_jerrybean: i dont even wanna be popular but i think hes glitching and thinks since he couldnt get rid of you the first time hell have to kill you_

_jerrybean: i canticanticanticanticant_

_gay™: you can. please, i know theres mt dew red in your mini fridge. go get it_

_jerrybean: iokay_

_jerrybean: mich shitgsu hes_

_jerrybean: hes tyeing_

_jerrybean: nevermind._

_gay™: what??_

_jerrybean: i’m fine._

_gay™: the fuck you arent what the fuck is going on_

_jerrybean: jake and i set it up, it was a joke, just to scare you. it went too far. i’m sorry, michael._

_gay™: i_

_gay™: i don’t believe you_

_gay™: you’re a fucking liar_

_jerrybean: no, i’m not._

_gay™: what if i ask jake?_

_jerrybean: i’m sure he would agree._

_gay™: you fucker_

_gay™: what did you do with jeremy_

_jerrybean: nothing. i am jeremy?_

_gay™: i can’t believe i’m talking to a squip over text_

_gay™: what the fuck did you do with him_

_jerrybean: fine. you saw through my disguise. jeremy fought back too much for me to try to stop him from explaining our... situation._

_jerrybean: he said too much. i am simply trying to control the damage._

_gay™: what the fuck is that supposed to mean?_

_jerrybean: i am simply trying to get jeremy to meet his goal, so he is popular._

_gay™: so that involves killing me?_

_jerrybean: like i said, i am simply trying to help jeremy. my past attempts did not work, so i am afraid i have to resort to desperate measures._

_gay™: who the hell made you because i need to file a complaint_

_jerrybean: i cannot say._

_gay™: okay, you know what? let go of my fucking boyfriend. he doesn’t deserve the shit you put him through, no one does. he is popular. he has good friends. he’s dating his crush. so just. stop._

_jerrybean: you are lying._

_jerrybean: he is not popular by any means. his friends are dismissive and hurtful. and he is not dating his crush, that was always the one you call christine._

_gay™: you’re such a bad liar_

_jerrybean: it is the truth._

_jerrybean: i would show you his memories and thoughts if possible._

_jerrybean: all signs po_

_jerrybean: tmwoicjh thike obimviohuere_

_gay™: jeremy?_

_gay™: jeremy are you okay?_

_gay™: jeremy please_

_gay™: please tell me you’re okay, i can’t do this without you, you’re so much more than your squip_

_jerrybean: hhply shit_

_gay™: jer?_

_jerrybean: yeah yeah  ime here_

_jerrybean: holy fukk_

_jerrybean: im kiterally vibratin g_

_gay™: it’s okay._

_gay™: is he gone?_

_jerrybean: i rhink so_

_gay™: how can i be sure?_

_jerrybean: becauze theres no annoyin g ass head im ny head and i love you andk nor christinw_

_jerrybean: well like i so but no t thatt way_

_gay™: that sounds like the jeremy i know_

_gay™: im so sorry for everything that happened_

_jerrybean: no i a m_

_gay™: don’t worry about it._

_gay™: call me? we can talk about our holiday plans if you need a distraction_

_jerrybean: yeahh if laike that_

_jerrybean: i git you a bomb ass xmas preasnat_

_gay™: awesome_

_gay™: do you know how much i love you?_

_jerrybean: i can guess_

_jerrybean: now c all? my atms rlly duckin huet_

_gay™: i’d believe it._

_[gay™ went offline]_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment bc i really love comments!! they make my day and it makes me so happy to get feedback. you can also follow me on tumblr for updates and shitposts. 
> 
> i said the new bmc fic would be out but i was tired of sitting on this and waiting to release it. so. here. this is my holiday gift to all u. i hope you all have a good one!! i love you allllll <3
> 
> edit: i was looking at this and it’s exactly 17000 words. sorz guys no more updates i’m never gonna achieve such a satisfying number again


	30. merry crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a made up word and a proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was rlly happy writing this i hope you like it!! happy holidays if you celebrate them!!
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 5 members online]_

_gay: YOOOOOOOOOOO_

_gay: AHAHAHSHSH JEREMIAH HEERE IS THE BEST FUCKIN BOYFRIEND_

_cupid: what’d he get you_

_gay: A BARITONE UKULELE_

_gay: AND LIKE A GOOD ONE_

_cupid: that’s so cute_

_brookie: agreed like wtf i haven’t seen mike freak out over anything he’s gotten before_

_jerrybean: he’s wanted one forever but he’s broke af_

_gay: he tells the truth_

_jerrybean: he’s sitting next to me with the biggest smile on his face. i think he’s almost crying_

_gay: I AM CAUSE THIS IS SO FUCKIN NICE I LOVE YOU_

_cupid: this is so cute wtf_

_brookie: agreed_

_brookie: wait i thought you guys did xmas eve together not day??_

_jerrybean: yeah but my flight was delayed so i didn’t get back until today_

_jerrybean: plus chanukkah’s already over so we’re just hanging out all day today_

_cupid: wtf is a chanukkah_

_brookie: LMAO_

_brookie: chloe you uncultured swine_

_cupid: what??? why is there a c??_

_gay: it’s another way of spelling it_

_cupid: am i the only one who didn’t know that??_

_jerrybean: yes_

_gay: yes_

_brookie: yes_

_jake-a-cake: yes_

_cupid: you’re here??_

_jake-a-cake: pfft yeah i just didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation_

_cupid: hm_

_cupid: where’s rich??_

_jake-a-cake: getting eggnog and tequila_

_brookie: oh my god_

_cupid: that’s such a rich thing to do i love them_

_brookie: same_

_jake-a-cake: same_

_cupid: we know_

_jake-a-cake: speak of the devil they’re here_

_jake-a-cake: adios sorry if i drunk text you_

_jake-a-cake: feliz navidad everyone and feliz chanukkah jer_

_jerrybean: thx b_

_[jake-a-cake went offline]_

_jerrybean: anyways what did_

_jerrybean: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT_

_jerrybean: HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD_

_jerrybean: HOLY FUCK_

_cupid: are you typing all this_

_gay: he has voice to text on_

_jerrybean: OH MY GOD_

_gay: he’s lowkey_ _hyperventilating_

_brookie: what’d you get him_

_jerrybean: MICHAEL YOU FUCKER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH_

_gay: i uh_

_gay: got him a ring_

_cupid: YOURE FUCKING WITH ME_

_brookie: NO FUCKING WAY_

_[jake-a-cake came online]_

_jake-a-cake: he’s not, he texted me a few months back freaking out bc he blew his savings on a ring and was worried jeremy wouldn’t want it even though he literally said yes to a not proposal_

_gay: he’s crying rn_

_jerrybean: YES BC IM FUCKING DYING MICHAEL THEODORE MELL YOU FUCKER OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD_

_jerrybean: ITS SO PRETTY_

_cupid: WAIT WAIT WAIT I REMEMBER THAT_

_cupid: didn’t you say you were gonna wait until after college??_

_gay: yeah but it’s kinda been an inside joke that i’d propose to him at any time_

_gay: it just kinda worked out_

_gay: plus yeah lmao we’re stupid teenagers we’re not gonna get married until after college_

_jerrybean: we’ve talked about this a lot but still AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_jerrybean: we just kinda agreed on it but we never actually had physical conformation_

_gay: we’re just two gays in love_

_cupid: that’s really fucking sweet_

_brookie: agreed_

_jerrybean: my gift is shit compared to yours now mike_

_gay: shhhhhhdhh i love it_

_gay: and you_

_jerrybean: how are your moms gonna react?_

_gay: they gave me the idea_

_jerrybean: no shit oh my god_

_jerrybean: what about my dad?? like i know he loves you but he might be_

_jerrybean: wait_

_jerrybean: you fucking asked for his blessing didn’t you_

_gay: ..._

_cupid: answer the question michael i need this quality content_

_gay: yes_

_jerrybean: THATS WHY HE WAS SMILING SO MUCH THIS MORNING THAT FUCKER_

_brookie: you two are such a power couple honestly_

_gay: we know_

_jerrybean: we know_

_jerrybean: michael’s been pining for ten years and me for like 5 how could we not_

_gay: we’re just two stupid teenagers in love so yes power couple_

_jerrybean: one that’s getting married in like four years_

_gay: lmao yeah_

_gay: we’re going to a courthouse i’m so far in debt_

_jerrybean: agreed_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the gays are too cute. i’m a slut for holiday fluff,,,


	31. synesthesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i see colors when i hear your voice / grab your wings, we’re putting gravity on trial. / i see colors, i don’t hear the noise / cause we’re only flying for awhile.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in two days bc i love you guys
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 8 members online]_

_gay: y’all i found such a nice song_

_canoozle: i can’t wait to hear it but hold up a sec_

_dick: where’d the tm go??_

_cupid: ^^^^^^_

_gay: not rlly feeling it_

_gay: just a regular old gay. i don’t need it to be trademarked anymore_

_jennabun: ...okay?_

_gay: did you not notice it yesterday???_

_brookie: no i was kinda hung up on the fact that you fuckin proposed to jeremy_

_gay: okay reasonable_

_jake-a-cake: i support your decision_

_gay: thx jake_

_gay: ANYWAYS CAN I SHOW YOU THE SONG_

_canoozle: yes!! i need new music_

_gay: okayokayokayokaysjdkdb_

_jerrybean: aw he’s excited_

_jerrybean: it’s adorable_

_gay: shush_

_gay: https://youtu.be/ihAwsK0nKpI_

_gay: it’s so goOD it’s so light blue and dark yellow and wavy ugh it makes me rlly happy and nostalgic i LOVE_

_cupid: okay that’s adorable but what_

_dick: what chloe said_

_brookie: wtf_

_gay: what??_

_gay: i’ve freaked out over songs before_

_jake-a-cake: yeah but,,, never with colors_

_gay: is that not normal??_

_jerrybean: no mikey_

_gay: WHAT_

_gay: i’ve described so many songs to you with colors wHAT_

_jerrybean: yeah i didn’t have the heart to tell you bc you were so excited and i loved seeing you happy_

_gay: okay that’s amazing and ur a great bf but WHAT THE FUCK_

_cupid: fiancé_

_jerrybean: that_

_gay: okay yeah but LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK_

_gay: IVE GONE NINETEEN YEARS NOT KNOWING THIS_

_jennabun: wait wait there’s a word for it_

_jennabun: i think it’s called synesthesia??_

_gay: a what now_

_gay: no entiendo_

_jennabun: it’s where like. two senses mix or something?? i think it can be sound/color, number/color, touch/sound, touch/color, there’s so many_

_jennabun: you see colors when you hear music right?_

_gay: yeah i,,, always have_

_jennabun: that’s sound/color synesthesia_

_canoozle: that’s so cool_

_dick: yeah that sounds so amazing_

_cupid: do you see the color?_

_gay: yeah, it’s like colors in the corners on my vision, like it’s vignetted_

_gay: sometimes it’s wavy and sometimes it’s rlly rigid and sometimes it seeps in more_

_jerrybean: i’ve made him draw what certain songs look like and it’s fuckin amazing_

_jerrybean: it’s like he’s in this whole other world and honestly i’m jealous_

_gay: honestly its annoying when there’s a lotta noise but otherwise yeah it’s cool?? soft songs are usually lighter but there’s some songs like lullabies that are dark red but they’re still really nice_

_cupid: that’s so cool_

_cupid: what’s uh,, mitb then??_

_gay: it seeps in rlly deep and its rigid and its dark green and this kinda ugly shade of rlly dark yellow near the edges but there’s splotches of wavy light blues that are almost white_

_jerrybean: as someone who has heard that song about a million times after mikey’s been working on it that’s.... such a nice way to describe it_

_canoozle: what about your favorite song?_

_gay: !!!!sidjjs uGh_

_jerrybean: get ready for a rant bc he loves this song and will not shut up about it_

_gay: OKAY SO_

_jerrybean: if i pass out from his cuteness don’t worry_

_cupid: how wholesome_

_gay: THEIF BY IMAGINE DRAGONS FROM SMOKE + MIRRORS (DELUXE)(2015) IS THE BEST GODDAMN SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD_

_gay: MY WHOLE VISION IS COLOR WITH THIS SONG_

_gay: THERES THIS REALLY PRETTY LAYER OF SILVER UNDERNEATH THATS KINDA SPARKLY BUT NOT TOO SPARKLY AND THEN THEREES THIS TEALISH BUT MORE GREENISH COLOR IN THE CORNERS AND THEN A REALLY PRETTY LAVENDAR WAVES THROUGH IT AND IN THE BRIDGE THERES LIGHT BLUE IN IT TOO AND HSJSLDJSHAHSH_

_gay: ITS SO PRETTY AND I LOVE IT SO GODDAMN MUCH_

_canoozle: do you need a second mikey_

_gay: YES_

_canoozle: take your time and feel free to freak out to us bc it makes me happy seeing u happy_

_cupid: i think i speak for all of us when i say i agree_

_jerrybean: obviously_

_dick: duh_

_jake-a-cake: fuck yeah_

_jennabun: count me in_

_brookie: of course_

_canoozle: awesome_

_canoozle: so anyways_

_canoozle: how was everyone’s weekend?_

_jerrybean: about that....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone liked yesterday’s chapter i’m so happy!! boyf riends fluff is nice. here’s mikey freaking out about my personal favorite song, smoke + mirrors (deluxe) is the best album ever. it has 21 fuckin songs!! they worked so hard on it!! i love it!! i also know it’s imagine dragons but FUCK i got into their music and not just the stuff on the radio and it’s sOOO GOOD
> 
> anyways. uh i’m releasing covers on yt (i’m too lazy to find the link so go to my tumblr and there’s a link in the bio) there’s a cecily smith one there and i recorded an intertwined one that i’ll upload later!! i’m not serious about it, i’m just doing it for fun but if you want to check it out, go ahead!! i’ll appreciate it


	32. mistakes (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a major fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! self harm mention and a /very/ profane, angry christine. read at your own risk !!
> 
> another two parter for ya. still very angsty, but there won’t be a hiatus in between them!! 
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 8 members online]_

_canoozle: YOU FUCKING WHAT NOW_

_cupid: have we ever seen christine swear but also WHAT THE FUCK JEREMY_

_brookie: HOW COULD YOU SPEND 4 WHOLE MONTHS WITH IT AND NOT SAY ANYTHING_

_dick: IT TRIED TO TAKE YOU OVER?_

_jennabun: IT WAS IN THE HOSPITAL WITH YOU?_

_jake-a-cake: MICHAEL YOU DIDNT FUCKING TELL ME IT TOOK HIM OVER_

_canoozle: YOU KNEW AND DIDNT TELL US?????????_

_canoozle: YOU THREE ARE FUCKING GETTING IT WHEN I SEE YOU_

_jake-a-cake: sorry chris_

_gay: sorz_

_jerrybean: sorry mom_

_gay: I SPIT OUT MY COFFEE_

_jerrybean: he also got it all over me :)))_

_canoozle: YOU DESERVE IT YOU PRICK_

_jerrybean: jesus christ_

_jerrybean: i’ve never been called a prick before_

_canoozle: RLLY BC I HAVE A LOT MORE YOU FUCKING CUCK YOU LYING CUNT JESUS CHRIST JEREMIAH LEE HEERE HOW FUCKING IDIOTIC CAN YOU BE_

_brookie: jeez chris take a breath we’re all man here_

_canoozle: HES AN IDIOT! A FUCKING IDIOT! HE COULDVE DIED BC OF THAT TIC TAC AND WE COULDVE PREVENTED THIS. MICHAEL COULDVE DIED! JEREMY COULDVE DIED! WE ALL KNOW THAT JEREMY HAS TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER GETTING SQUIPPED MULTIPLE TIMES AND MICHAEL HAS FUCKING CODEPENDENCY ISSUES AND WOULD KILL HIMSELF IF JEREMY DIED_

_canoozle: SO ITS IDIOTIC! WE COULDVE PREVENTED ALL THIS! JEREMY COULDVE BEEN HEALNG INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH FOUR MONTHS OF HELL! GOD WHY DID I EVER LIKE YOU YOURE SUCH AN IDIOT?? YOURE GOING TO RUIN ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND DIE ALONE AT THIS RATE IF YOU DONT DIE BEFORE THAT AND ILL BE STANDING AT YOUR GRAVE SAYING I TOLD YOU SO_

_gay: damn she got the codependency issues on lock_

_jerrybean: i_

_gay: shit_

_brookie: yall okay?_

_cupid: i don’t think so_

_gay: /pm canoozle_

_gay: jeremy’s sitting next to me sobbing good fucking job christine_

_gay: he thinks that you hate him, he’s scratching at his arms like. really deep. he relapsed when he was squipped these last months he’s not good i’m afraid he’s gonna cut his arm open again rn_

_gay: shit i jinxed it_

_canoozle: /pm gay_

_canoozle: god i messed up didn’t i_

_canoozle: i get so worried about him, and i don’t want him to get hurt. and he was just so stupid, god, he needs to know not to do anything like that again_

_canoozle: i don’t hate him please don’t hate me michael_

_gay: i_

_gay: i’m fucking mad_

_gay: at him and you_

_gay: now i gotta be suicide watch for my own fucking boyfriend_

_gay: ask me another day and maybe you’ll get your answer._

_canoozle: michael please i’m sorry_

_[gay went offline]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angry christine is something. so is angry and protective mike. i wasn’t gonna post this today but it’s the holidays so a double update is my gift to you. plus it kinda leaves off from last chapter. leave a comment telling me what you think, i live off that stuff!!


	33. - jeremy makes an entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squip sqaud in the wonderful spinoff, “jeremy makes an entrance”!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people asked for a spinoff of michael and jeremy’s wedding.
> 
> i delievered.
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

Michael’s hands were shaking. 

It wasn’t an uncommon occurance. Countless panic attacks had plagued Michael’s life over his twenty-five years of being. He could never seem to keep his hands still, either. His fingers would twitch at random, his handwriting always sloppy due to the slight tremor.  

Jeremy would usually be there to hold them, to still his hands and remind Michael that everything would be okay. Though, this time Jeremy was the reason his hands were shaking.

”Remind me again why I’m doing this,” he muttered. Michael’s head was tipped up, corneas burning as he stared up into the florescent light. Rich was currently straightening his bowtie, a glimmer in their eyes that only appeared when they were excited or happy. Michael guessed that it was both.

Rich finished the knot with a flourish and stepped back, admiring their work. They hadn’t grown much since high school, and had to look up at the six feet and one inch that was Michael Mell. “Because you love him and this is the happiest day of your life,” they answered, smiling and patting Michael on the shoulder.

Michael sighed and leaned into Rich’s hand. “Yeah, until we adopt a kid or two.”

Rich practically choked. “You’re messing with me. You’re actually messing with me.”

Michael simply shrugged and walked in front of the mirror, straightening his white shirt. “Eh, we talked about it. Jeremy wants to wait until he finishes his residency. I’m not really sure when I want them, I just know I do.”

That same smile appeared in the mirror behind him, Rich’s entire face lighting up with it. They donned a blue dress shirt beneath their vest. Rich looked very nice.

Michael smiled at the thought. He would have to tell Brooke that. Once the two had started planning the wedding, Brooke had immediately offered to plan the outfits. Rich and Jake- Michael and Jeremy’s best men, respectively- were outfitted with gray vests and slacks along with a button-up a rich shade of blue. Brooke and Chloe wore shoulderless dresses made of lace that reached the floor in a few shades lighter. So did Christine and Jenna, only a few shades lighter. 

Rich and Jake had yellow ties and blue pocket squares. The girls carried sunflowers. Brooke, in turn, had outfitted the grooms in white dress shirts, gray jackets, yellow bowties and boutineers made of tiny yellow flowers and twine.

Michael would have never thought of or wanted all the yellow. Yet once Jeremy had become all big smiles and waving hands at the idea, there was no way Michael could turn it down.

“Look at you, being responsible and growing up,” Rich said, snapping the other out of his reverie. A pause. “I’m really happy for you, man.”

Michael smiled. “Thanks, Rich.” He sighed. “I’m just worried that Jeremy will regret it. I know I want this to happen, god, I’ve been dreaming of it since I was nine. I’m hopelessly in love with him, but I’m scared everything will go to shit.”

Michael walked away from the mirror, collapsing into an armchair. “Things haven’t been very good lately. Jeremy comes home crying half the time because he’s so stressed out, and it fucking kills me. I’m just worried it’s going to be freshman year of college again...”

Michael couldn’t quite find the words. He simply stared at the floor, feet tapping to a song in his head. A hand appeared on his knee, attatched to the comforting face of Rich. 

“Hey,” Rich spoke, their voice soft. “Jeremy is hopelessly, utterly in love with you. You’re both stressed out because of all this,” Rich gestured around them. “But I assure you, he won’t regret anything. If you could see the way he looks at you... man, you’re gonna turn out fine. We’ll even babysit for you when you’re out at fundraising banquets for the prestegious hospital Jeremy works at, or in Hollywood for the premieres of the hit movie you scored. Your kids are gonna love Uncle Jake and Untie Rich.”

Michael nearly snorted at untie. Rich was the master of finding odd gender neutral terms. He looked up into his friend’s eyes, hoping his expression conveyed just how grateful he was. Rich seemed to get the message as he patted the other’s knee and stood up. 

”Rich, where’s my flower thing?”

”On it,” they yelled, already halfway out the door. 

* * *

”Hey, babe,” Jake said as Rich appeared at his door and leaned over for a quick peck on the lips. “How’s Michael doing?”

”Freaked out for a bit but he’s okay now. Do you have his boot-i-something? I have no idea where the hell it is and Brooke is going to kill me if he doesn’t have it.” 

Jake smiled and handed them a clear box filled with tiny yellow flowers. “Here.”

”Thanks. How’s Jeremy?”

Jake’s face contorted slightly before returning to his easy smile. “Okay. A little nervous, but okay.”

”Good. Call if you need anything, Brooke is making sure this is the best gay wedding the world has ever seen.”

”Noted,” Jake replied, rasing two fingers to his forehead in mock salute. Rich easily returned the gesture. “Hey, do you think we’ll ever get married?” 

If Rich had been drinking, Jake guessed they would’ve spit it everywhere. A sound something between a choke and a laugh. The other’s face contorted, casuing Jake to recieve an incredulous look.

Once Rich looked as if they were able to form a coherent thought, he responded. “Ask me when I’m not trying to keep an entire gay wedding on the road.”

Jake smiled. “Point taken.”

* * *

Jeremy had thrown up at least five times in the past hour.

It wasn’t like Jeremy to throw up when he was anxious. It usually showed up in an increase in stuttering or a rapidly beating heart. Though, pair the fact that Jeremy hadn’t been able to get off yesterday, causing him to work a twenty-four hour shift, and that this was literally the most stressful day of his life, the reaction started to make sense. 

Jake had stripped him out of his clothes the moment Jeremy had mentioned that he didn’t feel well, claiming that “Brooke and Christine will literally kill me if you look anything besides drop dead gorgeous.” Jeremy laughed before promptly throwing up into the nearest trashcan. 

He was currently curled up on the couch in the venue’s second waiting room clutching a trashcan for dear life. He was sure his stomach was empty by now, but bile still threatened to come up unannounced. Jeremy perked his head up as Jake wheeled back in, sporting a small smile.

”Hey, who was that?” he croaked as Jake wheeled closer. 

“Rich, Michael didn’t have his weird flower thing,” Jake answered, wiping the corner of Jeremy’s mouth with his thumb. “He’s okay, just about as nervous as you, but okay,” he reassured Jeremy, apparently seeing that telltale worried look in the other’s eyes. 

Jeremy sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back into the stiff upholstery. “God, remind me to tell Micah he’s topping tonight, I’m too goddamn tired.”

Jake all but snorted, picking up Jeremy’s clothes and pushing the can away. “Too much information, dude. Now, come on, call time’s in fifteen minutes and you have to look nice. Or at least dressed.”

Jeremy spread out his arms, allowing Jake to slowly dress him. A whirlwind of thoughts appeared as the minutes dragged by, surprisingly not _am I going to throw up again?_ By the time Jake had gotten to tying his bright yellow bowtie, the thoughts had choked him, becoming too much for him to handle.

”Do you think we’ll be okay? Me and Micah, I mean,” Jeremy finally sputtered out, surprising Jake in the process. 

His best man, the person that had been there for Jeremy for these past years of hell, looked back at him with nothing but sympathy and compassion. He was nearly as comforting as Michael, soft eyes and a calming voice able to coax Jeremy out of his darkest pits, save him from his worst thoughts.

Rich really was lucky to have him.

Jake took the groom’s hand in his, squeezing lightly. “Of course,” he answered. “Of course you are. Things might be shit sometimes, but you’ve known each other for so long, loved each other for so long. You’d kill a man for each other. You’re gonna grow old and be in love even after you die. You two are the best of us, really.” 

Jeremy smiled, taking a deep breath and expelling his anxieties with it. Jake was right, they would be fine. 

“You look really good, you know,” Jake said as he pinned the boutineer to Jeremy’s right side. “If I was a homewrecker and not in a strong, committed relationship, I’d totally date you.”

Jeremy snorted, the waves of anxiety slowly melting into a puddle. “You’re a creep. But, thank you. I need to impress him, today is supposed to be perfect.”

Jake actually laughed at that, a bright sound that rang across the room. He really was good company, Jeremy thought offhandedly. “You impress him just by existing. Now, come on, go brush your teeth. We’re lining up in five minutes and you need to go get married.”

Jeremy nodded and stood up quickly, the overwhelming nausea now forgotten. “Okay, okay.”

As he turned towards the bathroom, Jeremy couldn’t ignore that floatiness in his chest, that smile that made his cheeks hurt. 

It was a feeling he missed, one that he hadn’t felt in so long. Jeremy welcomed it back with open arms. It felt like coming home and collapsing into the arms of the love of his life. It felt like laughing over the best joke of his life, of basking in an afterglow when all the world was in that moment was him and Michael. It felt like his first surgery, his first kiss, the first moment after a depressive episode when he was finally okay, where he was finally safe.

It was pure, unadulterated _joy._

And it felt so, _so_ good. 

* * *

“Places, everyone!” a voice- attached to someone walking far too fast in high heels to be possible- called. Brooke had been running around for the past few hours with a smile that looked friendly but was quite threatening if you managed to look in her eyes. 

“Hey, Brooke, you know you’re not the wedding planner, right?” Rich called from in front of Michael. Brooke had them lined up to walk into the hall. No matter how much Michael had peered and begged to see, Jeremy stayed hidden around the corner with his dad.

They had played a good, old-fashioned game of “rock, paper, scissors” to see who would walk in last. Michael lost, much to his displeasure. Though, the rest of their friends had been excited to see Michael’s reaction to Jeremy walking down the aisle. There were currently large bets on how long it would take for him to start crying, since none of their friend group would even try betting against the fact that Michael would start crying. 

Both of Michael’s moms were at his side, and the groom couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest when he thought of Jeremy. His mom hadn’t even come to the wedding, saying she “didn’t approve of his life choices.”

_”I-I just thought sh-she’d want to come,” Jeremy said, a letter from his mother in his hands. The swirling handwriting, though beautiful, held nothing more than malice and distaste for her own son._

_“It’s okay, Mahal, don’t worry about it,” Michael whispered, running a hand through the mop that was Jeremiah Heere’s hair. He was curled against the other’s chest, choking back sobs as he traced his fingers over the letter._

_“I-I-I though I w-was o-over her, but...” Jeremy’s voice soon dissolved into a hiccup and a broken breath. Michael buried his head in Jeremy’s hair, wishing to only be able to take it all away._

Michael shook away the memory, trying to anchor himself to the present. If only Mrs. Heere could be like Michael’s mothers- the two women had practically whooped when their son came out, thanking whatever god may be out there that they had managed to raise a gay son. 

Michael barely caught onto the back end of Brooke’s quip back as he snapped back into the present. He immediately slipped back into a dream of memories as the music started, his best friends gliding towards his future with him.

“You ready, _anak?”_ his mom said, gripping his hand tightly with a large smile.

”Always, mama.”

The other stepped up on her tip-toes, pressing a soft kiss to her son’s cheek. “I’m so happy for you, Michael.”

The groom smiled, gazing into the eyes of the two women who had been there for all of his life. And now, they’d be there for even more.

”I am too, _inay.”_

The music swelled, and Michael took his first steps towards the life he has always looked forward to. 

* * *

Jeremy’s dad was crying.

“C’mon, dad, stop, you’re gonna make me cry,” Jeremy whined, putting a hand on his dad’s shoulder. “I already know Micah is, I don’t need you to as well.”

Mr. Heere sniffles and wiped his eyes. Jeremy was met with a pair of watering, kind eyes. Those were the ones that had gotten him through practically his entire life. He was the only man that could possibly calm Jeremy when Michael wasn’t around. 

He really was a good dad.

”I’m sorry, son, I’m just really happy for you. Michael is so good for you, I’m so proud of you two. He’s pretty much my son already, but now it’ll be official.”

Jeremy smiled and waved at his eyes, his voice coming out choked. “Dude, stop. I’m already crying. And we’re on in a minute.” 

Mr. Heere stood up, offering a hand to his son. Jeremy accepted with flourish, a beaming smile still painted on his face. “I still remember when you told me that you have a crush on Michael.”

Jeremy snorted. Freshman year of high school, Jeremy had come home crying in the realization that he had a crush on his best friend and was going to ruin his entire friendship. Mr. Heere had held him while he cried, yet refusing to say anything but that he believed someday Michael and Jeremy would get together.

His son’s heart swelled at the thought that his father was right.

”You ready?” Mr. Heere whispered as they lined up all the rest of their party already up the aisle. Jeremy’s heart jumped to his throat as they stepped into the doorway, walking together into their new life.

Everyone in the venue was standing up, but only one person at the end of the aisle mattered.

Michael.

Michael Mell, his sweet Michael Mell, was the sweetest sight Jeremy could ever imagine seeing. As soon as he laid eyes on his soon-to-be husband, a smile that could have powered the entire venue emerged. Michael leaned forward, hands over his mouth and laughed. It was full of joy, of absolute light, and it was the best sound Jeremy had ever heard. 

Michael looked at him like a work of art, as if he were the only thing he ever wanted to see. 

And to Jeremy, Michael was the same way.

He was the best person Jeremy had ever seen. He was all smiles and beauty and light. He was the laugh that could coax Jeremy out of his worst episodes, the calming voice that greeted him in the morning with a cup of coffee. He was old vinyls and hoodies with patches, the taste of vanilla and expensive chocolate. He was the sight that Jeremy always wanted to fall asleep and wake up to.

And now, he’d have a whole lifetime to do it. 

* * *

Michael nearly lost it as he laid eyes on Jeremy. He was beautiful, nervous eyes and a smile that lit up his face as he saw Michael. If he could, he would run up to Jeremy and kiss him, just stay that way forever.

Instead, he smiled so hard his cheeks hurt, leaned forward to fight back the ecstatic tears at the back of his eyes. God, he was so goddamn _lucky._

Jeremy soon made his way to the front, and they stood across from each other. The officiant stood in between them, saying something that Michael couldn’t quite bother to pay attention to what he was saying. He was lost in Jeremy’s ocean eyes, in the smile spread across those lips. 

Jeremy was the best of them. He was freckles and messy hair and sweet kisses. He was the nervous stutter that Michael adored, the shaky hands and rapidly beating heart. He was the bad jokes that would get Michael to laugh on his worst days, the whispered words after a panic attack that grounded him and reminded him that he was loved.

He’d never get enough of Jeremiah Heere. And now, he had a whole life to just take and take and _take._

Somewhere along the line, Michael had been pulled down to earth when he heard the word “vows”. There stood Jeremy in front of him, looking ethereal, taking a deep breath and speaking.

”Michael,” he began, somehow causing the other’s smile to grow wider. “Michael. For years of my life, I was lost. I had no idea who I was, what I was doing, if I even belonged on this earth or if I should just die.” The words hurt going in, but Michael stood strong.

“My life had never made sense. But, in all that craziness, the one constant, the one thing that made sense was _you._ You were the one thing that gave me strength to keep going, that I have loved beyond belief for as long as I can remember. We have never been perfect people, but in my eyes, you are the best person I have ever met. I promise to give you everything, Michael Mell,” Jeremy paused, voice strained and eyes watering. The next time he spoke, his voice came out in a little more than a whisper. “I promise to give you everything, Michael Mell, because you are my everything. You have given me everything, and I would be nothing without you.”

Jeremy stopped, a hopeful smile hiding behind tears running down his cheeks. Michael heard sniffling somewhere, but couldn’t pin down the location. He was pretty sure Rich had started crying, though.

”Give me a sec,” Michael muttered, turning away and clearing his throat of the small sob attempting to sneak up. The venue laughed playfully, his friends next to him smiling as wide as he was. Tears threatened to come out, but this time they were good.

”Goddamnit, Jeremiah Heere,” he whispered, causing Jeremy to giggle and Michael’s heart to soar. “Okay, yeah. Vows.”

Michael took a deep breath, and let his heart spill out in front of the love of his life. 

“Jeremy. Ever since I came home one day in kindergarten talking about how I made a new friend, my moms were betting on how soon it would be until we started dating.” Jeremy laughed- a sound that should be framed or play over and over in Michael’s head- and looked over at Michael’s mothers, who merely shrugged playfully. “It only took about thirteen years, but in that time, I had met my best friend and my soulmate. You’ve pulled me back from the brink so many times, you’ve saved me from the worst of me and of others. You’ve protected me for as long as I can remember, yet in return, I can only offer this:

”Jeremiah Heere, I promise to protect you. I promise to love you until I am only dust, until we are stars shining over our legacies. I promise to hold you close and never let go of you, because without you, I am only the shell of the man I could be. You complete me, Jeremy, and may God help me if I ever say anything otherwise. And with that, I might as well offer myself for you to take, filled with the unconditional love you have given me over the years.”

Jeremy looked about ready to fall to the floor and start crying. Instead, he simply whispered the other’s name, looking as if he wanted to do nothing but to lean into Michael’s arms and stay there.

And then, the moment came.

Rich tapped him lightly on the shoulder, eyes slightly red, and handed him a ring.

”Jeremiah Lee Heere, do you take Michael Mell to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?“

Jeremy stared deep into Michael’s eyes, seemingly lost in them.

”I do.”

Michael slipped the ring onto Jeremy’s finger, hands shaking, yet it felt like the world was finally coming together.

”Michael Theodore Mell, do you take Jeremiah Heere to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?”

Michael’s voice shook. “I do.”

Jeremy stared up to him as he slipped the smooth, silver band upon his finger.

In that moment, it was only Jeremy and Michael, Michael and Jeremy. The world dissolved around them, leaving two broken men held together by the love they had somehow found in each other.

Jeremy was his, and Michael was Jeremy’s.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Michael barely heard the words “you may now kiss the groom” be uttered before he leaned in, pressing his lips to Jeremy’s and pumping an arm up in victory. Jeremy melted in his touch, as if everything was finally coming together.

In retrospect, Michael thought, it was. It was finally just Jeremy and Michael against the world.

Of all the kisses they had ever shared, this one was the sweetest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (yoo if you wanna make art for any chapter of this, make art for this one. don’t feel pressured but i love art!! if you ever make any, post it on tumblr and tag me in it at alecjb)
> 
> hey so!! i can actually write. like not just texts, can you believe it? part two of mistakes will be coming out soon, i just saw full_of_trash in the comments suggest i write this and it actually gave me a reason to so!! here we are. i hope you enjoy. i’m thinking of doing little spinoffs like this- they’d only be in the past or future, this is i don’t wanna say not cannon to the freshman year story line, but it hasn’t happened yet?? it’s just a spinoff lol
> 
> so, do you wanna see more of these? if so, tell me! i’d love to. they wouldn’t be as frequent as normal chapters cause they’re a lot longer, but theyre fun. leave me a comment telling me what you think about that and what you think about this chapter!! i thrive off that stuff
> 
> on an unrelated note i have the epiphany that i’m like. really gay. i already knew it but i just kinda realized it? like girls and others are nice but boys? wow. i also think i have a crush on someone so rip me


	34. mistakes (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!self harm talk this chapter (not graphic)!!
> 
> uh due to a recent identity crisis, i realized i’m nonbinary! not really new to this whole trans thing so. uh. yeah. my name’s alec james (call me alec/aj/jamie) and use any pronoun for me besides she!! he/they are preferred 
> 
> anyways enjoy this chapter and help me make enby friends in the comments or on tumblr
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_canoozle: /pm jennrolls_

_canoozle: oh my god jenna i messed up_

_canoozle: big time_

_canoozle: shIT_

_canoozle: michael hates me and jeremy’s a wreck because of me why didn’t i just shut my mouth god i really messed up_

_jennrolls: /pm canoozle_

_jennrolls: i’m sure it’ll blow over. both of you are angry and michael isn’t one to hold grudges. and jeremy loves his friends- especially you- too much to be mad at you_

_jennrolls: although you were kinda scary. michael will probs be a bit cagey for a little bit bc you hurt jeremy. everyones a bit nervous bc you’ve never really been mad, sorry man_

_canoozle: UGH_

_canoozle: man i just want everyone to be at least okay i didn’t mean to upset anyone_

_canoozle: i’m so stupid_

_canoozle: and michael totally does hold grudges jenna i’m s c r e w e d_

_jennrolls: christine. it’s fine. and if it’s not fine right now, it will be._

_jennrolls: just talk to them. you’ll all be okay._

_canoozle: fine_

_canoozle: thanks jen, you’re a good person_

_jennrolls: anytime_

* * *

_canoozle: /pm jerrybean_

_canoozle: hey jer, you okay?_

_canoozle: i’m really, really sorry. i just want you to be safe and the fact that you didn’t tell anyone really worried me. you could’ve gotten really hurt and that can’t happen_

_canoozle: i’m so sorry for saying all that and i’m so sorry for hurting you. i hope that you can learn to forgive me_

_jerrybean: /pm canoozle_

_jerrybean: thank you, chris_

_jerrybean: and it’s okay. you’re right, it was stupid and i shouldve told someone. i’m sorry for not telling you or anyone_

_jerrybean: but michael’s still kinda mad at you_

_canoozle: i figured_

_jerrybean: i love him but he can be a real bitch sometimes_

_canoozle: jeremy oh my god_

_jerrybean: okay that’s mean_

_jerrybean: a passive agressive bitch_

_canoozle: that’s not better??_

_jerrybean: welp_

_jerrybean: i’ll talk to him, don’t worry_

_canoozle: thank you_

_canoozle: and jer?_

_jerrybean: yeah?_

_canoozle: i heard from michael uh_

_canoozle: you relapsed?_

_jerrybean: i uh_

_jerrybean: yeah._

_jerrybean: it was the only time that the squip would leave me alone bc i think it was scared it would scare and hurt me_

_jerrybean: i didn’t really want to but i mean_

_jerrybean: maybe i wanted to idk_

_canoozle: oh jeremy_

_jerrybean: please don’t be mad_

_canoozle: i’m not_

_canoozle: i’m proud of you for making it that far, okay? and while it’s not good to relapse, it’s another time to start over. and you’ll get longer this time. you’re so, so strong, and i’m so proud of you_

_canoozle: people fuck up, but we heal._

_jerrybean: you never swear and dude it’s so WEIRD_

_jerrybean: but thank you_

_jerrybean: having cuts on my arms def isn’t helping me rn but that helped_

_jerrybean: you’re a really good person christine_

_canoozle: you are too, jeremy_

_jerrybean: eh. debatable_

_canoozle: jeremiah heere you hecker_

_canoozle: i don’t yell but i will scream about whatta good person you are_

_jerrybean: oh i’m sure you will_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there’s like two seperate groups of writers- those who don’t want to hurt their characters and those who are perfectly fine with hurting them. i’m the second group lol
> 
> but seriously in emdw (check that out if you want) i plan on killing like 3 of the main characters, there’s another fic where one dies, someone’s in a coma in another fic, and then another one has someone with really bad ocd. and then there’s this fic! i’m sorry @ my characters i make u suffer a lot


	35. - alec has writer’s block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorz

\- edit: this is just gonna serve as a chapter to comment requests i may or may not use when i don’t know what to write -

 

this. literally isn’t even a chapter i just have no ideas. zip. zilch. nada. there is nOthing in my brain rn that says “creative” or “idea” and i’ve been scrolling through tumblr all day trying to get inspiration.

so pls come through for me and give me ideas!! for this fic or any of them. i have four fics i need to update and NO IDEAS. i’ll post a bunch of mini stories depending on how you guys respond

(this is really a problem i cannot write ANYTHING i just sit and stare at my screen)

(this is the only thing i’ve written in a week)

(please give me ideas)

(por favor)

(yo no soy creativo, lo siento)


	36. BET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for giving me ideas!! they’re amazing and i’m actually writing and it’s fUN
> 
> anyways, this ideas from narwhalacorndragobot: jeremy in heels. this will continue
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_[jerrybean came online]_

_[gay came online]_

_jerrybean: uh guys_

_gay: oh my god this is gonna be GOOD_

_jennrolls: please do tell_

_gay: okay so jer here lost a bet_

_dick: was it that he couldn’t say he loves mike bc i can see him losing that very quickly_

_cupid: that’s... rlly cute?_

_brookie: a-fuckin-greed_

_canoozle: what was the bet?_

_gay: we were looking online for bets bc we were bored and we found one that said you had to speak a different language for the entire day_

_gay: now this wouldn’t be too hard bc we both speak fluent spanish_

_brookie: the whitest kid in our friend group speaks fluent spanish_

_jerrybean: SOY JUDÍO_

_gay: nada que ver con eso_

_jerrybean: vete a la mierda_

_gay: ay_

_dick: ok no one else here speaks spanish can you just tell us about the bet_

_jerrybean: you didn’t take spanish in high school?_

_dick: well yeah but i don’t remember anything_

_dick: wait uh_

_dick: yo no ser spanish_

_jerrybean: ..._

_gay: you just said you do not to be spanish_

_dick: goddamnit_

_dick: ANYWAYS TELL US ABOUT THE BET_

_gay: so it wouldn’t be too hard since we speak spanish, but we decided to step it up a notch and go to as many places as we could_

_canoozle: oh no_

_gay: oh YES_

_gay: we started easy and went to a mexican restraunt where they actually speak spanish and all was well. eventually we ended up at a kmart with the whitest goddamn cashier i have ever met and jer just ended up yelling “CAN I JUST HAVE MY CHANGE”_

_gay: and he looks at me with just. defeat. it was so funny_

_dick: ha_

_dick: so what does he have to do_

_jerrybean: wear heels for a week :(_

_dick: HA_

_brookie: oh honey_

_canoozle: i’m so sorry for your feet_

_cupid: well i’m sure he’ll be hot_

_jerrybean: mike picked them out and i’m actually going to kill him bc they’re_

_jerrybean: well lemme show you_

_jerrybean:[killme.jpg](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=59870399)_

_cupid: mikey are you trying to kill him?_

_gay: no comment_

_brookie: well i’m sure you look good as fuck in them_

_jerrybean: they’re just SO HIGH imma have permanant scrapes on my knees this week_

_dick: from falling or...?_

_jerrybean: of course from falling what else would_

_jerrybean: oh_

_jerrybean: OH_

_jerrybean: N O P E_

_gay: OH MY GOD_

_brookie: jer’s a kinky little shit_

_jerrybean: FML STOOOOOOOOP_

_jerrybean: this week is going to be literal hell_

_gay: lo sabes_

_jerrybean: fuck you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:  
> soy judío - i’m jewish  
> nada que ver con eso - that has nothing to do with that  
> vete a la mierda - fuck you  
> ay - just?? there’s not even a translation it’s just ay. kinda like ow i guess?  
> lo sabes - you know it


	37. pup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secrets secrets are no fun, jeremy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love dogs. and healing. and jeremy. (thank you pawn_vs_player for this idea!!!)
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_jerrybean: guys_

_jerrybean: i have a confession to make_

_jerrybean: there’s something i haven’t told you_

_gay: is this what i think it is_

_jerrybean: no actually_

_jakeyd: michael doesn’t know? don’t you tell each other like. everything_

_gay: yes_

_jerrybean: yes_

_jerrybean: but he doesn’t know this one, it’s a surprise_

_gay: well spill_

_canoozle: seconded_

_jerrybean: okay so. i started going to a therapist after i got hospitalized, her name is lynn and she’s awesome, and she ended up diagnosing me with non-combat ptsd_

_jakeyd: that sucks but that’s good?_

_canoozle: well he can actually get treatment that’ll help, right_

_gay: wait i knew this_

_gay: he called me while i was in a middle of a class bc she didn’t believe him when jer told her about the squip. he thought he was hallucinating or joking, and i legitimately had to say in the middle of a lecture that the squip is 100% real_

_canoozle: omg_

_jakeyd: only you two_

_gay: okay but what’s the thIng_

_jerrybean: so i have episodes right? obviously. so_

_jakeyd: spill it_

_jerrybean: i got a service dog_

_jerrybean: her name is pip_

_canoozle: AW_

_gay: W H A T_

_canoozle: what kind of dog is she??_

_[dick went online]_

_dick: i heard dog and i am HERE_

_gay: okay waitwaitwait wait._

_gay: you got a dog_

_gay: spent a lot of time with this dog, trained said dog_

_gay: AND DID NOT TELL ME?_

_jerrybean: lol yeah_

_gay: W H A T_

_dick: this is great_

_dick: but also tell me everythiNG_

_[cupid went online]_

_cupid: i’m ft-ing brooke and jenna we’re hearing everything about this dog so we can give her nothing but unconditional loves_

_jerrybean: you do realize she’s a service dog and you’re not supposed to bother her, right_

_cupid: I WILL UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE HER FROM A RESPECTABLE DISTANCE JEREMY_

_jerrybean: i’ll take it_

_gay: i still can’t believe you got a dog and didn’t tell me_

_gay: this is sacrilege_

_canoozle: you keep using that word, i do not think it means what you think it means_

_gay: goddamnit_

_gay: using my own weaknesses against me_

_jerrybean: remind me why i’m friends with all you again?_

_canoozle: jer, buddy, we are going to love that dog more than we love you_

_jerrybean: okay true_

_gay: i’m sure he loves that dog more than he loves himself_

_jerrybean: ......._

_jerrybean: OKAY YEAH SHES REALLY CUTE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo sorry it took awhile for this one to come out!! (was it awhile? idk it felt like it)
> 
> but anYWAYS i’ve been really busy so i haven’t really had time to sit down and write. or even respond to comments. i wrote this on saturday, lost the draft, and then had a Bad ocd episode so. yeah. finals are coming up and i have to work on my audition for symphonic band (the better band at my school). i’ve kinda been confined to my couch by my neck hurts like hell from my comp so i actually have time to write
> 
> speaking of the comp!! it was friday and i could’ve done a bit better, but i’m proud of myself. my best friend on the team got to finals, and we ended up winning!! by five holds even, we lost by one last time so it was awesome. everyone was so happy and we were singing “we are the champions” on the bus ride home. (if you have no idea what i’m talking about w holds i can explain the logistics of a climbing comp lol) but anyways!!! i’m rlly proud of us. we’re the team everyone hates and we’re very loud and obnoxious when cheering but i love us


	38. - november 15th, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was always michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> props to anyone who know what this chapter is gonna be about before they even read it bc of the date. idk if anyone will i had to go back and look for it lol
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

Michael Theodore Mell.

It was a name that Jeremy had never been able to get out of his head from the first time he heard it, as a seven year old in hushed voices under a pillow fort. 

_“What about ‘Ollie’?” the boy next the Jeremy questioned. The sleepy seven year old knew that he hadn’t always been a boy- or, well, that wasn’t true. He was always a boy, people just thought he was a girl. Jeremy still felt bad for thinking that too. But the moment J had told the other that he was a boy, Jeremy accepted it without question._

_”Eh, I don’t know,” Jeremy said, rolling onto his side to face his friend. “You could always just stick with ‘J’. I think that sounds nice.”_

_”But it starts with the same letter!” J complained, hands flying up around him in exasperation. “‘J’ is literally just a letter.”_

_Jeremy sighed. The name game had been going on for far too long, both tired boys refusing to sleep until they found a name, no matter how much their eyelids drooped. “When do you think you’ll tell mama and_ inay _about it?”_

_J mimicked screaming and pulling his hair out, coaxing giggles out of the other. “I dunno. Awhile. You have to be there when I do, though.”_

_Jeremy laughed quietly and nodded. After a short pause: “What about ‘Theodore’?”_

_J hummed in response, now flipped on his back, fingers poking at the blanket above him. “I like it. But I just thought, I like ‘Michael’.”_

_”Me too.” Jeremy looked at the boy next to him. He didn’t exactly look like a boy, but he was one. That much Jeremy knew. “What about ‘Michael Theodore’?”_

_Jeremy swore a glint appeared in the other’s eyes, bright and shining. “Michael Theodore Mell. That’s it.”_

_The newly donned Michael was right. “It has a nice ring to it.”_

_It just felt_ right. 

In hindsight, everything about the name Michael Theodore Mell sounded right. The way it rolled off mama or _inay’s_ tongue when Michael was in trouble, the happy little glint in Michael’s eyes that was the same as that little boy’s when Jeremy teased him with it. 

And though he had always been Michael Theodore Mell, now he actually had the chance to look how said Michael imagined himself.

It had been a good ten years of tears, screaming, and self-hatred, but they were finally here. Jeremy couldn’t tell who was happier about it, out of Michael, Jeremy, Michael’s moms, Jeremy’s dad, and the doctors who had been with the boy since day one.

Tears were shed that day, and Jeremy couldn’t be more glad that they were happy ones.

As the sharp needle entered Michael’s skin, giving a sharp entrance to the next chapter of his life, he gripped his best friend’s hand.

His hand hadn’t left since, even as they sat on a bench outside the hospital. 

The adults had left to give the two teenagers some time alone before they all got together to celebrate. The chilly November air snuck down Jeremy’s neck and he pulled his cardigan tighter around him. As a particular gust of wind shot their way, scattering leaves in its path, Jeremy leaned more consciously than subconsciously into Michael. 

That warm, calloused hand never left his. Jeremy knew, he _knew_ it meant nothing. Michael was affectionate. Liked being by his friend. To think it was anything besides an excited kid wanting to share the moment with his best friend, maybe even make sure he was still there, still _real,_ was foolish. 

Yet, that tiny, shining sliver of hope somewhere in the depths of Jeremy’s heart kept tunneling out, trying to find the light in everything that was Michael Theodore Mell.

It was always Michael. Always had been, always would be _Michael._

“Hey, man, you okay?” a voice next to him questioned, snapping him back to reality. If Jeremy didn’t know better, he would almost admit that Michael’s voice was deeper already.

He felt a pang in his chest, the same squeeze that appeared whenever he was around Michael, and pushed it away. “Yeah, why?”

”No reason,” the other answered, squeezing his hand lightly. Those dark chocolate eyes were trained at the sky, something far away in them. Behind those glasses were wistful eyes, an overactive mind that tended to slip away from reality. 

Jeremy could stay and watch those eyes forever, get sucked into them and forget the world, but now was not the time.

It never _was_ the time, and Jeremy only hoped he would get to a day where he could look at Michael with the unconditional love that filled him to the brim, and know that behind those far away, floating eyes, there was the same.

”I’m really happy for you, man,” Jeremy whispered, eyes trained on the clouds overhead. The chilly gusts of air dug into him, and Jeremy knew they would have to leave soon but... he might as well savor the moment when he had it.

”Thank you,” Michael said, running his thumb over the other’s knuckles with a distant smile. “I never thought this day would come, y’know? And you’re here too, _mahal.”_

It would later to occur to Jeremy that he really should have looked up what that meant.

”You finally made it. I’m so proud of you.”

The smile grew larger, and something... else appeared behind those glasses. _“We_ finally made it.” 

“Yeah, I guess we did.”

A comfortable silence replaced their voices. As Jeremy shivered from the cold, Michael moved closer. It took him a moment to realize how close they were, how intimate the encounter was.

Jeremy had been close to Michael for a good twelve years of his life, both emotionally and physically. Physical contact, hugs, hand holding, all of it was normal. Familiar. Safe. Yet, this one was different. A sort of energy ran through the air, not much different from static, and Jeremy prayed that Michael could feel it as well.

The wind had finally gotten to him, and Jeremy turned to the other. “Hey, Mica-“

He was cut off by a pair of soft, nervous lips pressed against his.

Jeremy’s brain all but short-circuted. Michael, Michael Theodore _fucking Mell_ was kissing him. His body was warm, lips slightly chapped in the middle yet _amazing._  Vanilla and mint filled filled his nostrils, those sweet eyes now closed. He hadn’t even had the mind to close his eyes before Michael pulled away, a horrified look in his eyes.

Of course, of _course_ he would regret it. It meant nothing, it was a mistake, and Jeremy would have to play it off as if he didn’t have a _giant fucking crush_ on his best friend-

“Oh my god,” Michael muttered, now standing. His hands were burrowed in his messy hair, pulling as if he were punishing himself for what just happened. 

He spoke again, louder this time. “Oh my god. Oh my _fucking god._ Shit, Jeremy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, well I mean I did-“

Jeremy’s heart stopped.

”-like. Like I’ve been thinking of doing that forever and it seemed like the perfect moment and now I just totally fucked up our friendship because you don’t feel the same about me and now you know I really really like you and _shit-“_

Michael was now pacing, word and syllables spilling out of his mouth, mashed into one long sentence. He looked miserable, as if the whole world around him had crumbled.

Jeremy was having a similar reaction.

“-god, now you’re gonna hate me and I just threw away twelve years of friendship-“

”Michael.”

”-and I know you don’t feel that way cause even though you’re bi you wouldn’t like me I’m your best friend only stupid people fall for their best friends-“

”Michael.”

”-I fucked up! I was never gonna tell you I was just gonna get over it and stop being such a big bitch about it-“

”Michael!”

Jeremy had found himself standing, grasping the shoulders of his best friend and shaking him slightly. Michael’s eyes met his, those chocolate eyes now overflowing with shame and fear, tears rolling freely down his cheeks.

It hurt so much to see his best friend like this. His heart ached at the sight, tears pricking at the back of his eyes as Michael looked at him, horrified, horrified at himself, horrified at what he had just done.

Jeremy only wanted to fix it, to take it all away.

So, he did the only thing he could. The only thing he could think of.

He leaned in and kissed Michael.

Michael’s lips were slightly parted as Jeremy surged forward. He tried to pull away, but Jeremy was prepared, taking one hand and pulling him in by his neck, the other sitting comfortingly on his bicep. After a moment of shock, Jeremy’s world stopped, because Michael was kissing back.

Michael Theodore Mell was _kissing him back._

It was awkward, neither really knowing what to do. It was lopsided, salty, wet, yet it was perfect. It was _them._ Michael tasted of salt and smoke and the mint gum he always had in his hoodie. 

Michael finally pulled away, cheeks flushed as he stared at Jeremy with something else. Jeremy stared back before pulling him into a hug.

Michael buried his head into the other’s shoulder, tears of joy and nervous energy escaping him in soft hiccups. He wrapped his arms around Jeremy, and suddenly, the cold November wind was no longer there.

It was just them.

All Jeremy’s world was at that moment was Michael Theodore Mell. The boy he loved in more ways than anything else, the one he held in his arms, the one who had finally seen there was something more.

Michael.

It was always Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo sorry this took awhile!! this is a longer one, and it was final’s week so i’m surprised i got anything out this week. 
> 
> i’m writing this note on the bus on thursday (1/18/18) and i finished all my academic exams so. thank god. i only have art and english left- we turned in a writing piece earlier that served as an exam and all my pieces for art are done. my brain fuckin hURTS but i did good!! i got all 4’s on my culinary exam (we had to construct a three course meal around a theme in an hour), 4’s on my bio exam, 4’s on my interpersonal communication for spanish (reading/writing isn’t in yet but i know i did good!!) and i think i did well on my math and government ones. and i still have straight a’s (except for my ab in art lol) so i’m doin good folks
> 
> anyways if you are now totally confused about my grading system hmu, i’ll be sure to explain it in the next chapter notes. also someone remind me to respond to comments bc i haven’t had time and i’m too tired to rn


	39. i lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> but i make these high heels work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXAMS ARE OVER AND I HAVE ALL A’S (EXCEPT FOR ONE AB) AND A 4.063 NOT TOO BAD IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 5 members online]_

_brookie: yo jer how are the heels going_

_jerrybean: i think death would be better than this_

_cupid: relatable??_

_jennrolls: yeah, those heels could easily kill someone_

_canoozle: in multiple ways if you’re creative enough_

_brookie: she is right_

_jerrybean: i would just give in but i’m not a quitter_

_cupid: uhhh yes you are_

_jerrybean: shut it_

_jerrybean: also i kind of like them?? they make me feel lowkey powerful_

_jennrolls: are you sure that’s not just bc you’re taller than michael now_

_jerrybean: i’ve always been taller than micah!!_

_brookie: i, for one, would like to call bullshit_

_canoozle: https://youtu.be/ytN_QZo6oZw_

_cupid: it’s bull/shit/_

_brookie: this is why i love you_

_cupid: i know_

_jerrybean: yall are weird_

_jennrolls: we know_

_jennrolls: how does michael feel about the heels?_

_jerrybean: if that is a question to pry into my sex life you’re gonna get a boring answer_

_brookie: goddamnit_

_jerrybean: school started back up so we haven’t really done anything. plus i’d be too miserable to do anything ig_

_cupid: no phone sex?_

_jerrybean: can you NOT_

_jennrolls: facetime?_

_jerrybean: ugHhhhHH_

_canoozle: not even before you left?_

_jerrybean: YOU TOO??_

_jerrybean: guys, as much as a shock as it may be to you, mich and i have never had sex_

_canoozle: wait_

_jennrolls: what_

_cupid: you’re kidding_

_brookie: you’re lying right_

_[jakeyd came online]_

_jakeyd: no he is not if he did i would be the first to know_

_[jakeyd went offline]_

_brookie: okay i have a lotta questions but firstly._

_brookie: why would JAKE be the first one to know_

_jerrybean: ???_

_jerrybean: behind micah he’s my best friend, he knows everything about me??_

_jennrolls: okay waitwaitwaitwait_

_jennrolls: since when are you and jake close?_

_jerrybean: awhile? even before the squip we were in the same art class and we always kinda hit it off? and after the squip we talked a lot more and got to be really close? i went to a lot of his doctor’s appointments with him after the accident when rich was still in the hospital_

_jerrybean: if i recall correctly, he once said that if i didn’t have a huge gay crush on micah and if he didn’t have a huge gay crush on rich, we’d be together_

_[jakeyd came online]_

_jakeyd: that is a true statement_

_[jakeyd went offline]_

_canoozle: wtf ok_

_canoozle: idrc about that i just want to know how you and mich have done like? nothing?_

_canoozle: i don’t usually pry so this i’m pulling my “i listened to you pine over michael for god knows how long so you’re telling me” card_

_jerrybean: UGH F I N E_

_jerrybean: okay so we never really like. did anything. maybe got each other off a few times but like. that’s all i feel comfortable doing_

_cupid: but weren’t you like the sex crazed freak most of high school_

_jerrybean: why do i tell you people these thingsssssss_

_jerrybean: yes but halloween party + squip + graduation = no me gusta_

_cupid: someone translate?_

_brookie: use context clues hun_

_cupid: i’m still really sorry about the halloween party by the way, i was drunk and i didn’t know the squip was stopping you from moving_

_jerrybean: it’s okay chlo, really_

_cupid: no but it was really shitty of me and i know i apologize for it a lot so here’s another_

_jennrolls: could you say it’s..._

_jerrybean: NO_

_jennrolls: bullshit?_

_canoozle: good one_

_jennrolls: thx b_

_canoozle: okay but wait_

_canoozle: can we go back to a point jer made before we started prying about his sex life_

_jerrybean: please do?_

_canoozle: you said you feel powerful in heels?_

_jerrybean: well yeah_

_jerrybean: they’re just. cool. i like them_

_jerrybean: i feel like i could stab a bitch and then walk away still looking good_

_brookie: if that isn’t my ass_

_jerrybean: also ig it’s a good a time as any to tell you guys i’m genderfluid_

_canoozle: GASP_

_cupid: i’m a proud mom???_

_brookie: please tell me i can go dress shopping with you_

_jennrolls: stop by my dorm and let me give you a makeover_

_jerrybean: you guys are wild_

_jerrybean: but i’m still regular jeremy, just one who is more comfortable with going and trying on dresses and shedding the shackles of binary gender, yknow_

_jennrolls: wait does that imply that you tried on dresses before_

_canoozle: WAS IT WITH RICH_

_canoozle: PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS WITH RICH_

_jerrybean: ..._

_jerrybean: it was with rich_

_cupid: THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the graduation references another fic i’ve written that i decided to tie in. i’m too lazy to link it (whoops) so it’s called “michael and jeremy get it on” and. enjoy ig. leave a comment pls i love seeing those


	40. the matter at chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dog binders are the way to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hi my name is alec and i’m having a creative crisis
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 5 members online]_

_jerrybean: yo mike how the hell did you breathe in a binder_

_gay: tf_

_jakeyd: is that a random question or one due to experimentation_

_jerrybean: uh_

_jerrybean: well i once bought mike a binder with a bunch of dogs with it_

_gay: I REMEMBER THAT_

_gay: it was so bad but i loved it_

_jerrybean: excuse me_

_gay: that’s a compliment_

_jerrybean: okay then_

_cupid: may i ask why you bought him a dog binder_

_jerrybean: it was actually a galaxy dog binder_

_brookie: oh my god_

_gay: i mentioned all my binders were boring_

_jerrybean: it was his xmas gift_

_jerrybean: or chanukkah?_

_jerrybean: cause it was my chanukkah but your xmas?_

_jerrybean: you know what nvm_

_brookie: lmao_

_gay: i loved it_

_gay: wait i still think i have the link to it cause jer sent it to me so i could get more stuff_

_gay: http://www.shapeshifters.co/product/galactic-space-binder_

_jerrybean: if i remember correctly, one of them is called “space is gay”_

_brookie: i looked it up and you are 100% correct mx_

_jerrybean: why thank you ma’am_

_cupid: okay but back to the question at hand_

_jakeyd: also at chest_

_cupid: that doesn’t even make sense_

_jakeyd: just go with it_

_brookie: i would also like to know?_

_gay: same here_

_jerrybean: uhhhhh_

_jerrybean: when i was home last, i must’ve accidentally packed it_

_brookie: wait then that implies that michael had clothes at your house_

_cupid: didn’t they basically live at each other’s houses_

_jerrybean: yep_

_gay: yep_

_jakeyd: yep_

_brookie: wait jake how do you know_

_jakeyd: jeremy’s my bro_

_jerrybean: yeah, we’re bros_

_gay: i thought i was your bro_

_jerrybean: you were_

_jerrybean: now it’s just gay_

_gay: okay fine_

_gay: CAN WE GET TO THE POINT NOW_

_jerrybean: okay yes_

_jerrybean: i was looking for a bra and_

_jakeyd: why were you wearing a bra_

_jerrybean: do not tell me rich hasn’t_

_jakeyd: okay true_

_jakeyd: they once went on a whole rant about how if you’re wearing a dress it looks better and they’re lowkey comfortable_

_jakeyd: esp when they work out_

_cupid: they’re not comfy??_

_brookie: chlo you don’t have a big chest, grow a pair then go a day without a bra_

_cupid: i’m offended_

_brookie: i’m a lesbian i’m offensive by design_

_cupid: oh my god_

_cupid: well i guess having a small chest is kinda nice_

_gay: i would also like to vouch for the “small chests are good” movement_

_jakeyd: i wonder why_

_jerrybean: ANYWAYS_

_jerrybean: i was looking in my suitcase bc i’m lazy and rarely unpack and i found it_

_jerrybean: it barely fits me, a person with no chest_

_jerrybean: micah how the hell did you survive_

_gay: i learned how not to breathe_

_gay: and maybe how to survive with broken ribs_

_brookie: what_

_jakeyd: dude_

_cupid: you’re kidding right_

_jerrybean: you did NOT_

_gay: ...._

_jerrybean: MICHAEL THEODORE MELL_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this doesn’t have to do with said crisis but if i release that 1940’s fic i’ve been teasing would you guys read it?? i’ve been sitting on it for like a month and i want to release it, but i spent a lot of time on it and worked hard, and i want people to actually read it yknow?


	41. - like you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chloe has a little crush.
> 
> okay, maybe it’s not little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s some lesbian shit for you
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi
> 
> (also, check out my new work, a boy of nineteen with a nervous marine (the 1960’s one) on my account ig? idk i posted it so it’s there)

Chloe had a slight fear of commitment.

Okay, well, she wouldn’t call it slight. Or of commitment. It seemed more like the fact that she could love or care for someone was terrifying.

Especially when that _someone_ was a girl.

Enter Brooke Lohst. Easily the most popular girl at Middleborough, funny, charming, beautiful. 

And, of course, fucking up Chloe’s entire life.

Chloe wasn’t gay. Totally, _definitely_ not gay. It wasn’t that she didn’t like gay people- she was friends with Michael and Jake and... well, the rest of her friend group.

She just... wasn’t gay. Plain and simple. 

She had boyfriends. A lot, actually. Chloe found herself thinking that it was just a game at this point: find a boy, have fun, then dump them and find another. No strings attatched, no feelings, nothing. And, sure, she was starting to build a reputation as the school slut (even though Madelyn would always hold that title) but she could live with that.

She was popular, had a nice friends, a good GPA and everything. Life was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

”Hey, how much you wanna bet that Dustin Kropp is gay?” Rich asked one day at lunch, sipping at a carton of milk and eyeing the boy across the room. By some miracle (or curse), their entire friend group was together at this lunch. And Rich, being the ringleader of all that was crazy, decided it was high time to start up another game. Chloe sighed and rested her head in one hand. According to the other’s, her gaydar didn’t count.

Everyone at the table seemed to consider it: Jeremy and Jake sneaking a peek at Dustin and arguing over his fashion choice, Jenna and Christine debating whether or not him playing Mercutio in Middleborough High’s production of _Romeo and Juliet_ was enough to warrant him sharing his character’s obvious sexuality. But Michael, who had not spoken since he sat down with his AP Music Theory homework, answered the question.

”He’s gay.”

Jake tore his gaze away from Dustin. “How the hell do you know?”

“He hit on me at the Halloween party. He was totally sober, too.”

Jake raised his eyebrow and straightened his glasses, looking as if he were about to go through the scientific process and hypothesize about whether or not one guy at Middleborough High was gay. Chloe chuckled behind her hand. “That doesn’t prove anyt-“

“He’s dating Thomas.”

Rich practically spit out his milk. “How do you know that?”

Michael smiled, but his gaze still didn’t leave his textbook. “Man, I’m the gayest one here. I know every and all things gay. I’m the gay mast-“

”Hey, guys.”

A new voice and new body appeared at the table next to Chlor. The entire group fell silent, Michael even looking up from his work to see Brooke Lohst sit down at their table. 

Chloe stared incredulously (and probably rudely) at her. She was popular, no doubt about that, but she was at the top of the high school food chain. Chloe had talked to her a few times, but never in a million years would she have guessed that Brooke would sit with them. Jeremy, from across the table, seemed to have a five second panic attack as he realized he was in the presence of someone so popular.

Chloe was having a similar reaction.

She was pretty. _God_ , she was pretty. Golden hair, sparkling eyes that drew Chloe in, hands that looked so warm and comforting and man, if she didn’t want to just lay in Brooke’s arms for the rest of the day...

She immediately pushed the thought aside. Not gay, not gay, _not gay..._

Rich interrupted Chloe’s thoughts by cutting through the thick and increasingly awkward silence. “Okay, why the hell are you here?”

”Nice to see you too,” Brooke responded, tone sharp but a large, toothy smile spread across her face.

It soon fell after the rest of the group simply stared at her. Chloe could’ve sworn they had better social skills than this, but it would be a lie to say that Brooke took her breath away.

”Okay, I’ll get out of your way in a second,” Brooke finally said, her hand gravitating to pick at the hem of her shirt. “Some creep’s trying to hit on me and I _really_ just want to be left alone. So I need you guys to cover for me.”

Chloe was the first to respond, nodding vigirously. “Yeah, of course. I get it.”

Brooke smiled sweetly and the other swore her heart stopped. “You sure have a lot of guys going after you. I hear about it all the time, people asking if I know you so they could get your number.”

”Wh-wha-wh-really?”

Brooke nodded and glanced over her shoulder. “Totally. I tell them I don’t, but I’d love to get it some ti- oh shit, he’s coming.”

Brooke ducked her head and grabbed Michael’s homework and pencil. He immediately threw his hands up in confusion and annoyance, muttering something about popular people as Jeremy slapped him lightly on the arm. 

Soon enough, Thomas Rousse was walking toward them, smiling as he laid eyes on Brooke.

”I thought you said he was dating Dustin,” Rich whispered, glaring in Michael’s direction.

The other shrugged. “I lied.”

Thomas sat down next to Brooke, knees facing out and leaning his back against the table in a vain attempt to look cool. Chloe nearly threw up in her mouth.

”Hey, Brookie,” Thomas said, taking a strand of her hair and curling it with a disgusting finger. The rest of the group, one again, simply stared, this time with disgust. 

“I told you, Tommy, I’m not interested,” Brooke muttered, taking a hand to snatch her hair back, only to be pulled towards Thomas as he refused to relinquish his hold. She grimaced, eyes shut tight and biting her lip.

Rich, who had a clear view, stood up and rested his palms flat on the table. “Dude, she said she’s not interested. Now go away.”

Thomas let go of her hair but didn’t leave. “Hey, let the girl speak for herself. She said she’s not interested, but I’m not sure she’s saying that because she wants to or because you’re telling her to.”

Chloe glanced at Brooke, who had her head hung, tears collecting in her eyes and threatening to roll down her cheeks and ruin her makeup. 

And Chloe, in all her infinite wisdom, deciding to save her makeup and maybe do something for a little self indulgance, spoke.

”She means it. She’s my girlfriend. Now fuck off.”

Brooke and Thomas’s gazes snapped to her. Brooke’s snapped from confusion to understanding to something... else, while Thomas’s stayed on doubt. 

And then, to top it all off, Thomas spoke.

”Really? Prove it.”

Chloe’s eyes widened as Brooke looked at her and leaned in. She could see all the little flecks of green in here eyes, smell the scent of cherry on her breath, feel her breath on her lips. Chloe forced herself to close her eyes as Brooke planted a small and sweet kiss on her lips, hardly giving Chloe the chance to process what the _hell_ was happening or even enjoy the moment before she pulled away, a blissed expression upon her face. 

Thomas cringed and stood up, muttering something probably homophobic as he walked away. Brooke smiled.

”Nice save. Thank you so much, I won’t bother you guys again.”

Chloe couldn’t rip her eyes off of Brooke. Brooke seemed to notice, and after worrying her lip between her teeth, ripped off the corner of Michael’s homework and scribbled something in the corner.

”Here. In case you want to... well, nevermind.”

She placed the piece of paper in Chloe’s hand and walked away.

Michael was the first to recover his mind. “Did she just... give you her number?”

Chloe glanced down. Sure enough, in swirling scrawl, was a phone number with the name “Brooke Lohst” next to it.

Chloe simply nodded.

”Oh my god,” Jeremy muttered. “Did that really just happen?”

”I guess so,” Jake responded. Everyone was silent, Michael eventually pulling back his homework and resuming.

After a few minutes, Rich spoke.

”So, how much you wanna bet that Brooke Lohst is gay?”

* * *

To the group’s surprise, Brooke showed up at lunch the next day. And the next. And the next. She soon became integrated into their life and their dynamic, and all the while completely derailing Chloe’s.

Every thought that used to be what boy was fawning over her now, or what homework she had for AP Physics was now overrun by Brooke. Her smile, her laugh, her horrible jokes and interesting stories, her affinity for making the clothes she wore, the way she always carried around a small sewing kit in case of emergencies, the way she would run up to Chloe and hug her, telling her about a new obscure band that she loved. 

As the months rolled on, they grew closer and closer. And every time Brooke said “I love you”- whether it be when Chloe brought her an apple at luch, or when she just felt the need to tell Chloe that she cared for her- it killed her.

In only, if _only_ she knew.

Jenna knew. Christine knew. Michael knew. The entire _fucking_ world probably knew. But still, there was Brooke, absolutely uninterested in Chloe, and killing her in the process.

She was a girl. Chloe couldn’t do that. Every time the thought of Brooke showed up, she resisted the urge to throw up. It hurt, and it was hardly a good hurt. She liked Brooke, yes, but her liking a girl was... wrong.

It didn’t really help the fact that at Homecoming senior year, Chloe definitely fucked up.

A lot.

They were going together as a joke. Neither of them had dates, so they teamed together so people would leave them alone, and to have a fun time. 

So, when Brooke took her hand with a nervous smile as a slow song came on, Chloe was more than a little nervous.

Brooke led her to the middle of the gym floor, her dress swirling around her as she turned around to wrap her arms around Chloe. The red lace of her dress brushed against her legs. Chloe kept her gaze trained on the ground, watching Brooke move to the rhythm, bare feet on the cold gym floor, heels discarded once they arrived. Her knee was scraped, bandaids on her shin when she tripped running into the building. All the little imperfections, somehow still perfect.

Brooke removed a hand and tilted Chloe’s chin up. She resisted the urge to lean into it, just stay there forever in her grasp. 

“Hey,” Brooke whispered, swaying with a slight smile.

”Hey,” Chloe responded.

The other took a deep breath, bright eyes gazing into Chloe’s. Her heart stopped, lungs constricting in an all too-familiar way. Brooke then buried her head in Chloe’s shoulder, lips and teeth in a smile on Chloe’s bare skin. 

“You know, Chlo, I love you a lot,” Brooke breathed, breath all too warm on her skin.

”I know,” Chloe responded, voice shaky in the just... oddness of the situation. Brooke did always choose random times to say she loved Chloe, taking a hold of her heart and making it utterly ache, but this wasn’t normal. “You tell me all the time. Like yesterday when I accidentally hit Jake in the eye at lunch.”

Brooke lifted her head, but didn’t meet Chloe’s eyes. Her gaze was slightly... lower. 

“Yeah but... I _love_ you, Chloe.” 

Chloe tilted her head. “I know, you just told me-“

”Oh my god,” Brooke muttered. “Chlo, how more obvious could I make it? I’ve been crushing on you, for what, a year?” 

Chloe’s mouth dropped open. “...What?”

A dark red flush appeared high on Brooke’s cheekbones. “Yeah, so when I say I love you, I mean it. Like... I know we haven’t even dated, but-“

”Dated?” Chloe gasped. “Brooke, I-“

Everything was moving too fast. Brooke’s warm touch was too hot, too bad, too _dirty._ Chloe was _straight,_ there was no way she could do this. 

With a choked, confused sob, Chloe yanked herself out of Brooke’s grasp, running helplessly towards the bathroom. Whatever Brooke called out after her was lost to the horrible, deafening sound of blood and panic.

She locked herself in a stall, the now thumping bass shaking her bones, rattling her mind. Everything was too loud, too much, too fast, the world was spinning around her as Chloe collapsed to the ground. 

Chloe leaned against the freezing brick wall, trying in vain to catch her breath. The bathroom was big, anyone else in there could surely hear her gasping, praying that the day would be over, that she could curl up in bed and never get up again. 

“Chloe?” a quiet voice asked, cutting through the loudness. “Chloe, don’t make me crawl under the stall.”

Chloe couldn’t move. She stayed curled up in her ball, unable to even respond when Brooke sighed and got on her knees, crawling under the stall and sitting opposite of Chloe.

And she just... sat. Not moving, just sadly watching Chloe sob, be a warm, unobtrusive body for Chloe to grasp onto when she needed.

When Chloe finally got control of her breathing, Brooke reached out and put a finger under Chloe’s chin to lift it out. The other flinched, suddenly reliving what must have happened no more than ten minutes ago, but Brooke simply moved her hand to the crying girl’s cheek, brushing away a tear.

”You okay?”

Chloe laughed bitterly, the sound coming out more like a bark than a laugh. “What do you think?”

Brooke frowned. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I just thought-“

”No,” Chloe interrupted, taking a hand out and pushing Brooke away lightly. To Chloe’s relief (and possibly displeasure), Brooke didn’t try to go back, simply sitting back and helping Chloe work through her thoughts. “Stop. I know what you thought. I just... have you ever believed something your whole life, _known_ something your entire life, and suddenly that isn’t real anymore? And you just...”

”Don’t know what to do,” Brooke answered.

Chloe nodded, sniffling. “I knew that I was straight. I liked guys. That’s what my parents told me, that’s what everyone told me, that’s what I told myself. But then you come along and fuck everything up.”

Brooke giggled. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

Chloe almost smiled. “I’m hopelessly, utterly attracted to you and I don’t know what to do. I know it’s okay, but it doesn’t feel okay. My parents always told me that I had to be with a man. I had to be straight otherwise...”

She dissolved into tears and allowed herself to be taken into Brooke’s arms, a soft hand rubbing over her back, soft “it’s okay”’s into her ear. 

And, finally: “Then why don’t you just let yourself feel what you’re pushing away?”

Chloe looked up at those eyes, bright and strong, the ones that crinkled up at the corners when she smiled and laughed. 

The ones that someone looked at someone as broken as Chloe with nothing but love. 

“Can we take it slow?”

Brooke smiled softly. “Yeah.”

”Can we not tell anyone until we’re ready?”

”Yeah.”

”Is it okay if I don’t say I love you?”

”Yeah.”

”Can I kiss you?”

Brooke’s smile widened- teeth and all. “Of course.”

And, then, it occurred to Chloe that perhaps there was a reason that Brooke had kissed Chloe when she told Thomas Rousse they were girlfriends.

The kiss was soft and undemanding. Sweet and simple. Not too overwhelming, but with enough of the electricity that Chloe needed.

They broke apart, and Brooke pulled Chloe towards her, arms wrapped around her as if she were going to protect her from everything.

Chloe had never felt safer.

”Love you,” Brooke whispered and kissed a gentle kiss to Chloe’s head.

”Like you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just bought another polaroid camera... why does anyone trust me with a debit card i’m such an impulsive buyer. but on the bright side it’s a vintage rainbow stripe one that was only like 70 dollars so yay!!
> 
> also i started listening to spring awakening and hot damn is it good. i listened to the entire soundtrack whilst writing this. it’s. so. good. i watched the deaf west production of it and!! oh my god. it’s so good?? and i love that they have deaf actors and even one in a wheelchair?? and there’s a gay scene?? the diversity is so good and it makes me so happy. i’m learning “left behind” from it on guitar and i’ll probs do a cover if anyone wants to see that?
> 
> i also based brooke’s dress off mine. and she got how i tripped going to hoco. my friends were all running, i had heels on, and the rest is history. i got a good scrape, but my friend had bandaids (bc heels yknow) but the best part is they were more than half the way to where we were entering before any of them realized i wasn’t with them!! i have good friends guys (no but like i actually do they’re just unobservant)


	42. in debt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unsolved bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewatched some sherlock episodes (tgg and part of trf) and i’m back to my total sherlock nerd mode 
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 8 members online]_

_gay: hey you guys_

_gay: you all owe me 120 bucks_

_brookie: ??????_

_brookie: no_

_dick: is what i think it is_

_gay: yes it is_

_gay: this is a year coming_

_jennrolls: man i was kinda hoping you’d forget about that_

_canoozle: me too_

_brookie: ???!?!?!????_

_jakeyd: i’m still slightly mad about that_

_gay: yeah cause you chose the wrong answer_

_jerrybean: i mean we were partially right_

_gay: but that wasn’t the question_

_cupid: okay but what if we like. don’t have twenty bucks_

_brookie: i’d lend you money if i KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON_

_canoozle: rich_

_jakeyd: rich_

_cupid: rich_

_dick: ugh fine_

_dick: do you remember that time that tommy was hitting on you_

_brookie: that’s multiple times_

_dick: the time where you kissed chloe to make him go away_

_brookie: still multiple times_

_jakeyd: THE FIRST TIME YOU SAT WITH US AND PRETENDED TO BE DATING CHLOE AND KISSED HER AND THEN CHLOE HAD A FULL ON GAY CRISIS_

_dick: i could’ve explained that_

_jakeyd: no you couldn’t_

_dick: how rude_

_chloe: i wouldn’t call it full on..._

_jennrolls: that is such a lie_

_dick: anyways_

_dick: after you left we were betting on if you were gay_

_dick: and mich won_

_gay: yeah bc i’m the master of the gays_

_jerrybean: yeah we know you say it all the time. you’re the master of the gays_

_gay: why thank you mx_

_jerrybean: of course sir_

_canoozle: altho isn’t betting on someone’s sexuality kinda rude?_

_jennrolls: i would’ve taken it as a compliment_

_cupid: we know_

_jakeyd: we betted on if dustin kropp was gay before you came over_

_brookie: ew_

_canoozle: i know_

_brookie: but that’s so funny i love it_

_brookie: couldn’t you just tell by... looking at me?_

_gay: i could_

_jerrybean: mhm cause you’re king of the gays_

_gay: i never said that_

_jerrybean: you were thinking it_

_gay: okay yeah i totally was_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> opinion: the reichenbach fall is the best sherlock episode ever. it’s just. so good. and the last series was kinda shit?? eurus just felt forced and i really wanted moriarty to be back but he wasn’t. sure, i liked it, i got rlly into it when it came out, but it didn’t have the same sherlock feel yknow? maybe i just have to watch it again. but the first two series (barring the hound of the baskervilles bc i lowkey hate that episode) will always be the best of sherlock. trf on top of that. it’s too good. there’s nothing beating it. i’ve been saying this for four years and i’m not changing my mind
> 
> i also accidentally deleted this chap and had to rewrite it. also i have 50 something unanswered comments so... i should really get on that


	43. and his name is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> john travolta, bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hi i’m back
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 6 members online]_

_jennrolls: question._

_jennrolls: john travolta in grease or john travolta in pulp fiction_

_dick: pulp fiction_

_jakeyd: his hair is so ugly in that_

_dick: you can go fuck off_

_cupid: damn_

_cupid: anyways my vote goes to grease bc singing and i’m a slut for whatever era that was_

_canoozle: 70’s_

_cupid: thank you_

_canoozle: i’m going with pulp fiction purely for the scene where he accidentally shoots marvin_

_jakeyd: waitwait_

_jakeyd: you’ve seen pulp fiction??_

_canoozle: yes_

_brookie: i showed her it_

_canoozle: i cried laughing when christopher walken gave butch the wrist watch, fell on the ground, subsequently hitting my head on the coffee table and getting a concussion_

_jennrolls: if that isn’t a mood,_

_dick: huh_

_dick: you don’t seem like the kind of person who’d watch pulp fiction_

_canoozle: yeah there’s a lot you don’t know about me_

_canoozle: like how i was a french maid for a period of time_

_dick: are you trying to slip a john mulaney reference past me or what_

_canoozle: ...maybe_

_brookie: anyways, i’m going with pulp fiction as well_

_cupid: man i haven’t even seen pulp fiction_

_brookie: what the fuck_

_cupid: what??_

_jakeyd: you are doing a disgrace to this groupchat, the film industry, and quentin tarentino himself_

_cupid: idk i’ve never really been into it_

_cupid: too much violence_

_canoozle: man i don’t like violence either but pulp fiction is so good_

_canoozle: you’re missing out on good uma thurman action!!_

_cupid: what period uma thurman_

_jennrolls: in her prime_

_cupid: goddamn_

_cupid: but what’s so good about christopher walken giving some dude a watch??_

_dick: holy shit_

_jakeyd: oh my god_

_jennrolls: oh boy_

_canoozle: i’m gonna get concussed again_

_brookie: oh honey, you’ve got a big storm coming_

_brookie: who wants to show her_

_jakeyd: PLEASE_

_jakeyd:<https://youtu.be/kWp6hZ-5ndc>_

_jakeyd: just for the record, you are about  to witness fucking ART_

_cupid: wtf is this racist cartoon_

_cupid: okay so it’s chris walken_

_cupid: aw his dad died that’s sad_

_cupid: it’s a cool watch_

_cupid: what’s supposed to be so funny about this?_

_brookie: just fucking WAIT_

_cupid: okay okay_

_cupid: he just puts it in a coffee can??_

_cupid: noo the grandpa died before he saw his kid, that’s so sad_

_cupid: okay dad got it_

_cupid: HOLY SHIT_

_dick: she got to it_

_cupid: OH MY FUCKING GOD_

_cupid: IM CRYING_

_canoozle: told you_

_cupid: HE SAYS IT SO NONCHALANTLY_

_cupid: i have a whole new respect for christopher walken_

_dick: i think we all do_

_cupid: i would like to change my answer to john travolta in pulp fiction_

_brookie: you haven’t even seen him in it_

_cupid: yes but that entire scene has me sold on it_

_jennrolls: cool_

_jennrolls: but you were all wrong_

_jennrolls: the correct answer is john travolta in bolt_

_canoozle: ..._

_jakeyd: the door is on your left, please use it_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo boy a lotta shit happened when i was gone
> 
> i didn’t mean to disappear, i’m sorry, but a lot of stuff has been going on in my life and just. whoo boy. i'll go over it a lil bit in another chapter maybe. and i’ll respond to comments. eventually.
> 
> also. if you’ve never seen pulp fiction, WATCH THAT SCENE. you won’t regret it and the joke will make a lot more sense.


	44. tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically that feeling of pulling an all nighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so tired, i’ve been sick for two days, school got cancelled today when our school alloted time for a walkout BECAUSE SOMEONE THREATENED TO SHOOT UP THE PLACE
> 
> alecjb.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/alecjbi

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 3 members online]_

_gay: i think i have transcended_

_gay: i am no longer part of this reality_

_jakeyd: michael how high are you_

_jakeyd: do we need to call jeremy_

_gay: nononono_

_gay: i’m not high_

_dick: really?_

_gay: okay maybe a little bit_

_gay: but only on life_

_dick: you are so full of shit_

_gay: no legit i’m not high_

_gay: but if you can get high off caffeine, then i definitely am_

_jakeyd: jesus christ_

_jakeyd: how much caffeine have you drank_

_gay: uhhh_

_gay: i think a better question is how long i’ve been awake_

_gay: what day is it?_

_dick: i’m afraid to tell you cause i’m not sure i want to know the answer_

_jakeyd: it’s wednesday_

_gay: oh wow_

_gay: i think it’s been three days_

_gay: maybe four_

_dick: jesus christ i’m calling jeremy_

_gay: he broke his phone_

_gay: that’s probably the reason why he’s let me stay awake this long_

_jakeyd: so your primary support system is out, are we your babysitters now?_

_gay: no no no_

_gay: yall need to keep me awake for like one more hour_

_dick: and why the fuck would we do that?_

_gay: i need to write one more line of vocals, it’s only a harmony_

_jakeyd: is this why you’ve been awake for three to four days?_

_gay: yes_

_gay: chris needs the music soon so she can put on the play and i have to have an original score due at 9 am today and i fucking procrastinate_

_dick: bad michael_

_gay: yes bad michael just keep me awake i think i’ll die if i drink another energy drink_

_jakeyd: you’re gonna die if you don’t get sleep!!_

_gay: yeah yeah_

_gay: one more hour_

_jakeyd: no! go to bed!_

_gay: cmon dad pleeeease_

_jakeyd: did you just_

_jakeyd: did he just_

_dick: yes_

_jakeyd: why the fuck are you like this_

_gay: because i hate humanity_

_gay: now keep me AWAKE_

_dick: ...fine_

* * *

 

_jakeyd: michael_

_jakeyd: michaeeeel_

_dick: i think he’s asleep_

_jakeyd: thank god_

_jakeyd: sweet dreams bud_

_jakeyd: now on another note, why are you awake?_

_dick: why are you awake?_

_jakeyd: do not turn this on me, richard goranski_

_jakeyd: you should be asleep right now, you have school_

_dick: you do too!_

_jakeyd: DONT TEST ME RICH GO TO BED_

_dick: JESUS CHRIST NO WONDER HE CALLED YOU DAD_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y’all if you’ve never seen 911 on fox. WATCH IT. sure it’s maybe one of those cliché network shows but it is actually so good. angela basset plays a badass cop, there’s a POC LESBIAN COUPLE (portrayed by the lovely aisha hinds and tracy thoms) and poc main characters, and oliver stark is fuckin hot and connie britton is such a cutie and has such good facial expressions. i’m watching the newest episode rn and i just. love it.
> 
> edit: ANGELA BASSET GOT STUCK IN HANDCUFFS WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND AND HAD TO CALL AISHA HINDS TO GET THE KEY AND AISHA IS JUST CACKLING I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW


	45. hour to hour, note to note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a gay masterpiece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR LOVE, SIMON!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 8 members online]_

_gay: OKAY_

_gay: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT LOVE, SIMON_

_jennrolls:[mhm.jpg](https://v.cdn.vine.co/r/avatars/974F74BB2F1301736557534924800_454eb33ae5f.5.1.jpg?versionId=HjZz.pYaI3Hhv1nCdqzuysUpv96d1vv6)_

_canoozle: i can’t believe you have that saved_

_jennrolls: i’m a true memer, christine_

_canoozle: ah, yes, how could i forget_

_gay: FORGET THE MEMES LETS FOCUS ON THE GAY_

_jerrybean: yeah, that’s we always do, cause you never shut up_

_gay: i thought u loved me_

_jerrybean: i do ;)_

_dick: this isn’t the kind of gay shit i signed up for_

_jakeyd: okay but can we actually talk about love, simon?? that movie was iconic_

_brookie: i cried_

_cupid: i sobbed_

_jennrolls: i’m somehow not surprised by that_

_canoozle: i saw it with eri and almost had to leave because i was ugly crying at the ferris wheel scene_

_brookie: OH MY GOD THE FERRIS WHEEL SCENE_

_jakeyd: the entire theater started clapping when simon and bram kissed_

_jerrybean: i actually cried at that part_

_canoozle: what??_

_gay: you did????_

_canoozle: i never thought the day would come_

_gay: damnit i wish i was there for that_

_dick: ???_

_jakeyd: i can’t believe a movie finally made you cry_

_brookie: i don’t understand_

_cupid: ditto_

_jennrolls: tritto_

_dick: wtf_

_jennrolls: go with it_

_canoozle: we’ve never gotten jer to cry at a movie_

_gay: we sat him down for a full day and tried to find the saddest movies to show him and he was stonefaced the entire time_

_jakeyd: kind of ironic considering he’s one of the most emotionally fragile people i know_

_jerrybean: excuse me_

_jakeyd: you can’t deny it_

_jerrybean: fine_

_jerrybean: honestly it’s not a surprise i cried at the gay one_

_jennrolls: yeah why was it the gay one?_

_jerrybean: i finally felt represented i guess? and it had a happy ending and was adorable and i was lowkey living vicariously through simon with his relationship with his mom cause i didn’t get that_

_canoozle: that’s adorable_

_dick: but wait_

_dick: ur bi_

_jerrybean: half gay_

_gay: that is such a fuckin lie_

_gay: no way it’s 50/50_

_gay: you talk about how hot guys are more than girls_

_jerrybean: maybe it’s because you’re a guy_

_gay: are you implying that i make you talk about guys more than girls_

_gay: because you lean toward guys_

_gay: you’ve said so_

_jakeyd: i can confirm_

_jerrybean: okay fine_

_jerrybean: you’re all gay why do i bother_

_dick: i mean_

_brookie: we know rich_

_cupid: we know rich_

_canoozle: we know_

_jennrolls: oh hun, we know_

_gay: this is an exclusively gay group chat_

_jerrybean: what if i go talk to brooke and chloe about girls_

_gay: we’re here to talk about love, simon, it’s not love, simone_

_jerrybean: AND THATS MY CUE TO LEAVE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo i finally hyperlinked the links that i have on the first note (and added my yt) i’m proud of myself. i also wrote a sorta review thing on love, simon, go check it out [here](https://alecjb.tumblr.com/post/171947468185/my-favorite-and-least-favorite-things-about-love%E2%80%9D%20rel=)!!
> 
> i wrote something for this note then realized i was REALLY oversharing so i deleted it. whoopsies. i looked back on it and... jesus christ why did i even think about posting that. 
> 
> ANYWAYS. chapter 50 is approaching, what should i do for it? is there anything you guys really want to see? any sort of format you want to see (short stories, call logs, etc.) i have no idea as to what i want to do for it, so i’m open to any ideas you guys have!!
> 
> edit: i swear to god i wrote something where jer and mike brainstorm names for him so if you know where that is, please tell me and i’ll love u forever (more than i already do, at least)


	46. pip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the best girl the squipsquad has ever seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo! chapter 50 is coming up really soon! i have a few ideas (such as doing a huge chapter full of short story au’s that wouldn’t be canon to the storyline, i have some concepts written down) but i still don’t know for sure what i want to do. what do you guys want to see? any au ideas? please tell me, your creative input is just as important as mine, and i want to write things you’ll enjoy. tell me in the comments!! 
> 
> (also read the bottom note bc freshman year will be on a tiny break. maybe probably)
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_jerrybean: YKNOW WHAT MAKES ME REALLY MAD_

_cupid: terfs_

_jakeyd: donald trump_

_dick: paradoxes_

_brookie: that kid that sat next to you in a lecture_

_jerrybean: YES ALL OF THOSE_

_jerrybean: BUT I HAVE A NEW ONE_

_cupid: spill_

_jerrybean: U G H_

_jerrybean: it’s still making me cry ughhhh_

_brookie: oh honey_

_brookie: do you need a hug_

_jerrybean: yes but i don’t think my roommate would appreciate me waking him up_

_dick: he’s asleep? it’s only 11_

_jakeyd: believe it or not, that’s late for some people_

_cupid: anyways_

_jerrybean: so you guys know pip_

_cupid: of course i love her_

_brookie: how could i not_

_jerrybean: yeah so i’ve been studying like all this weekend and decided to go out to eat. and i went to chipotle since i know someone who works there (she wasn’t there which just ugh)_

_jerrybean: and i bring pip with me! like, why would i not? i put her vest thing on and walk down there since it’s near campus_

_jerrybean: i got pip since my episodes would get super bad and i shut myself in my dorm and had to get someone every morning to get me to go to my classes and remind me to take my meds and shit among many other things. michael helped me do it in high school but it got so much worse in college_

_brookie: sorry to interrupt but are you saying michael was basically your service dog?_

_jerrybean: yes pretty much_

_jerrybean: he did it more forcefully_

_dick: of course_

_jerrybean: but anyways i would get super nervous going into crowded places because of previous anxiety and whenever i heard a voice behind me i’d get super freaked out. so i go in there, pip’s with me and everyone’s chill with it, and i get to ordering and tell pip behind and_

_brookie: wait wait sorry_

_brookie: behind?_

_jerrybean: oh jeez yeah i forgot that people don’t know those commands_

_jerrybean: i get her to stand behind me and kinda lean on me since it gives me person space, grounds me, and makes sure no one bumps into me, cause i’m afraid it’s the squip again or someone trying to kill me i don’t fuckin know_

_jerrybean: anyways i’m standing in line, and it’s a fairly large chipotle and really busy and pip’s doing her best but i start getting really nervous. i start stuttering more when i’m ordering and pip picks up that i’m nervous and nuzzles me and licks at me to ground me, but she gets out of her behind position and someone fucking bumps into me_

_jerrybean: and then i go into full panic attack mode, and they’re pretty damn bad. and i don’t blame pip, she’s just trying to calm me down, she’s doing what she’s trained to do. so i stutter out brace since it feels like i’m gonna fall over and lean on pip. i get out the card i have in my wallet that basically says “i’m having a panic attack and/or ptsd episode, i have a service dog and she’s trained to lay on my chest to calm me down, is there somewhere i can lay down” blah blah blah_

_jerrybean: and the worker’s like “we can’t let you in the back bc of sanitary stuff, you can lay in the bathroom or in the corner”_

_jerrybean: the fucking corner_

_jakeyd: really?_

_jerrybean: YES_

_dick: can’t they like. wash their hands and shit_

_cupid: it’s not like you’re touching the food_

_jerrybean: i fucking know, right?_

_jerrybean: yeah so i’m not going in the fucking chipotle bathrooms so i go in the corner and lay down and get pip to lay on my chest bc deep pressure therapy is honestly a life saver_

_jerrybean: but it gets worse_

_dick: oh god_

_brookie: i swear to god nobody better have hurt you or pip_

_jerrybean: not exactly_

_brookie: WHO DO I NEED TO MURDER_

_cupid: yo chill_

_brookie: ..._

_brookie: you better tell me_

_jerrybean: okay okay_

_jerrybean: so pip’s laying on me and making sure nobody gets near and this fucking lady starts trying to get her attention and get her to come_

_jakeyd: woah woah woah_

_jakeyd: are you serious?_

_jerrybean: as a goddamn heart attack_

_jerrybean: so she gets confused and distracted, not at first but this lady keeps on doing it_

_jerrybean: and, i kid you not, this fucking lady comes up and starts petting her and tries to get her off me. she starts pushing pip off me. and she doesn’t know what to do, i don’t fucking know what to do, i’m crying at this point because i’m having a goddamn panic attack and someone’s touching my dog who is doing a job and i’m mad and confused and just why the fuck would you do that???_

_brookie: i’m coming to baltimore._

_jerrybean: brooke no_

_brookie: BROOKE YES_

_brookie: THATS SO OUT OF LINE AND PROBABLY ILLEGAL_

_dick: i normally don’t condone this sort of behavior but i’m coming with_

_jakeyd: you often condone that behavior_

_dick: ..fine_

_jakeyd: but i’ll come with too_

_cupid: same, i’ll cuss out and slap anyone who even gets near pip_

_jerrybean: guys you don’t have to_

_brookie: no. it makes you mad and hurts you, so it make us mad and hurts us. when you’re back and nj we’ll all protect you from idiots_

_jakeyd: agreed. we’ve got your back_

_jerrybean: thank you_

_jerrybean: lmao pip’s coming up on my bed and licking my face since i’m crying_

_cupid: give that pup love from me_

_brookie: and me_

_dick: give her a treat from me_

_jakeyd: tell her uncle jake loves her_

_jerrybean: i will_

_jerrybean: thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls read the first note if you haven’t ty!! 50th chapter’s coming up and i wanna know what you wanna see.
> 
> anyways!! this will probably be on a tiny break because from march 28th (wednesday) to april 6th, i’ll be overseas! i’m going to scotland and england with my school’s band! we’re performing and touring stuff. even tho i’ll be back the 6th, jetlag and school work and all that will keep me from having an update for awhile. i’ll probably post pictures and stuff on tumblr, so follow me there if you’d like!
> 
> other things going on in my life: there was a rock climbing comp on friday and i was soo close to going to finals (~10 points) and the one before that, i got a finals score (112) but had one more attempt, and attempts are the tiebreaker, so i didn’t go :( i’m staying in the division i’m in since i really want to go to finals. solo and ensemble was on saturday, i was in flute choir and we got a *1 so that means we get to go to state solo and ensemble!! plus i get a medal :)


	47. jake the actor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: they’re all too stubborn to give up an argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo! i’m back in the country. i have been since the fifth but it’s taken a bit for me to adjust and actually sit down and write. but i’m back!! england and scotland was super fun, i think i’ll put together a google photos album of all the pics i took sometime so you can see em.
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 3 members online]_

_jerrybean: yo_

_jerrybean: how do you guys do makeup. like, good makeup_

_cupid: why??_

_jerrybean: long story short i lost a bet to jake_

_[jakeyd came online]_

_jakeyd: yep so basically he doubts my extensive knowledge of spring awakening_

_jerrybean: it’s kind of freaky, he knows way too much about the actors_

_jerrybean: esp the deaf west cast_

_jakeyd: okay well i’m sorry that daniel n. durant was my gay awakening_

_jerrybean: hey hey hey i’m not saying that’s bad,_

_jerrybean: i’m just sayin austin p mckenzie’s better_

_jakeyd: yes but there is no way don’t do sadness didn’t give you chills and turn you on_

_jerrybean: again, kind of freaky_

_jerrybean: but it was pretty cool when moritz jumped off the ladder_

_jerrybean: but still, austin p mckenzie > daniel n durant_

_jakeyd: you tell l i e s_

_jakeyd: chloe and brooke. settle this_

_brookie: you’re asking the wrong people_

_cupid: i don’t even know who they are_

_jakeyd: we can’t be friends_

_jerrybean: that is the exact same thing you said when i told you i hadn’t heard of deaf west_

_brookie: ba dum tss_

_cupid: ??_

_brookie: get it_

_brookie: cause_

_brookie: cause it’s called deaf west_

_brookie: and he hasn’t heard of it_

_brookie: ..._

_brookie: nvm_

_cupid: anyways_

_cupid: jake why do you know so much about fall awakening?_

_jakeyd: spring awakening_

_cupid: yeah same thing_

_jakeyd: ...okay_

_jakeyd: i don’t know, it’s the only musical i’ve actually got into and listened to and liked, and musicals aren’t really my thing so when i found one that i liked, i really got into it_

_brookie: wait, i thought you were a theater kid?_

_jakeyd: that’s laughable_

_jakeyd: nah, i’m the techie_

_cupid: you know, that explains... a lot_

_jakeyd: yep_

_jakeyd: anyways, i worked for that theater company all throughout high school, it was playhouse something? and junior year (before the squip) they did spring awakening, and i was on tech and ran lights for it and it kinda snowballed from there_

_brookie: then why were you in the play junior year?_

_jakeyd: brooke, i was in tech_

_brookie: no you were NOT_

_jerrybean: no i specifically remember you having a line_

_jakeyd: i 100% did not have a line_

_jakeyd: i walked backstage bc you guys were being idiots and i was doing last minute checks, got squipped and said stuff i guess?_

_cupid: you did NOT_

_jakeyd: I REALLY DID_

_jerrybean: you are a fucking liar, jacob dillinger_

_jakeyd: I AM NOT_

_jakeyd: ARE YOU GUYS HIGH?_

_cupid: no we just HAVE AN ACTUAL MEMORY_

_jakeyd: YOU WERE SQUIPPED WHAT DO YOU KNOW_

_brookie: YOU WERE TOO_

_jakeyd: I INITIALED THE GODDAMN BALCONY_

_jerrybean: YOU DID NOT_

_jakeyd: WELL THEN YOU’RE ALL JUST FUCKING OBLIVIOUS_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this goes on for quite some time.
> 
> i did a little cover on my yt that i’m not at all proud of but i just needed to make something, so check it out if you want?
> 
> also, for chapter 50: i’m still taking ideas!! soulmates au seems popular, so i’ll have to figure out how to write that,, oh boyo. the other au’s ideas i have a little fleshed out at the moment (they’re in the drafts in my tumblr at the moment lol) are:  
> \- rich hooks up with jake at a nightclub or something, not knowing that he’s a really famous musician, and the moral of the story is rich is oblivious and jake had his gay awakening  
> \- jeremy works in the er and michael is a patient coming in with constant, stupid injuries (basically there’s this cute/sad ending that i won’t reveal quite yet)  
> \- christine is 100% sure that there’s some sort of ghost haunting her house and the amateur cryptid hunters (mike and jer) come to figure it out and supernatural shenanigans ensue
> 
> also i forgot to say: at s&e, flute choir got a *1 which means we get to go to state!! it’s in two weeks, state rock climbing is next weekend, and my birthday’s in 10 days (the 23rd) so that’s pretty neat!!!


	48. - growing old on bleecker street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “we may be lost and gone forever/the rain will wash our memories/but when we cry, we cry together/like it was meant to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO I CONVINCED MY PARENTS TO TAKE ME TO NYC AND SEE BE MORE CHILL IN THE FALL!!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)
> 
> [growing old on bleecker street by ajr](https://youtu.be/t8BgXCWYYMk)

“Hey, Michael?”

Michael looked up from the small instrument he was holding, the slightly dissonant chord dissolving into the night air. The crickets that strummed their melodies beyond the open window went on, playing endlessly into the cool summer night. The only sounds that came from inside the boy’s dimly lit room was steady, slighly shaky breathing and voices and a badly played ukulele.

”Yeah?”

Jeremy sat up to face Michael with a small smile. “Please give that back to me.”

Michael sighed and handed Jeremy the ukulele, who held it with much more grace and care than Michael could ever manage. “C’mon, I’m not that bad.”

Jeremy snorted. “Dude, you’re horrible. Your fingers are too big and you’re better at instruments that you can be rough on, not something so tiny.”

Michael clutched his heart in mock pain. “I’m hurt.”

Jeremy smiled and sighed, making a quiet hum of acknowledgment to the other. He lowered himself back onto his back, head on the pillows as Michael laid the other way. 

The moonlight streamed through the open window in silvery shadows, illuminating Jeremy’s face as he strummed mindlessly on his ukulele. Soft chords like lullabies appeared beneath his fingertips.

Michael always wondered why Jeremy didn’t try to pick up another instrument. He had musician’s hands; long, dainty fingers that could pluck out any melody if given the chance, callouses on the tips of his fingers from years of playing the ukulele. They were gentle enough to make any song sound like you were falling into the arms of the person you loved the most, quick enough to play fast song that would give you goosebumps in the best way. 

When Jeremy wasn’t playing the ukulele, those fingers constantly twirled a pencil between them, drummed out beats to a song in the boy’s head on his desk in the middle of class. They would gently brush at Michael’s temples as they settled comfortly on the side of his face when Jeremy leaned in for a goodbye kiss. They would run through Michael’s hair when he cried, dig their always-short nails into Michael’s back and drag down as he kissed Jeremy’s neck. 

Yet, when Michael looked back, his always-moving fingers had stopped, simply sitting on the strings of the ukulele with no momentum in any direction.

Michael glanced up at Jeremy’s face. His eyes were open, staring blankly at the ceiling.

”What’s wrong?” he whispered.

Jeremy simply shook his head and gave Michael a reassuring smile. “Nothing, just tired.”

Michael frowned, leaning up on his elbows. “No... I know that song. You love that song. You refuse to get out of the car until it finishes when you play it. And your hands are... still. I haven’t seen you this still since the Squip.”

Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed the slight contraction of Jeremy’s face, the way his arm and neck twitched ever so slightly in an attempt to cover up a flinch.

But Michael did. And Jeremy knew that.

Jeremy set the ukulele down beside him, in the space between them, and ran his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I’m just thinking too much, I guess.”

Michael moved so he was laying the proper way on the bed. “What about?”

The boy next to him sighed, his chest rising and falling in the gray light. “I... well, about the future, I guess. About us. What’s going to happen in college and in life and in just... everything.”

Michael stopped for a moment. “Was that why you were playing ‘Growing Old on Bleecker Street’?”

Jeremy smiled, close lipped, but it was still a smile. “Maybe a little bit.”

”A lot a bit.”

”Okay, a lot a bit.”

”You know, Jeremy, no matter what happens between us, I’ll still be there for you.”

”I know.”

Michael rolled over to face the other. “I don’t think you do.”

Jeremy just breathed, eyes closed, in a façade of calm and serenity.

Michael, in turn, took one of his hands, treasuring the callouses and the way Jeremy’s long, thin fingers slotted perfectly between his. He brought his hand to his lips, pressing against there gently.

”Jeremiah Heere,” he whispered, hot breath against Jeremy’s fingers, “I’m always going to be there for you, okay? No matter what happens. If we turn to dust or grow old together. It might just be dreams, but at least you’re in them, and I’m there with you.”

Jeremy shifted to lay his head on Michael’s chest, to hear the steady beat of his heart, the internal music that was always playing within him. Jeremy let out a breath, slowly and safe, curled up in the arms of the one he loved.

”You promise?”

”I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 100% canon that growing old on bleecker street is jeremiah heere’s favorite song and he cries almost every time he hears it
> 
> i just wrote this bc i love the song and i thought this was cute so. here we are. short and sweet. yeah.


	49. a not so practical prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bad decisions all around here, folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FIC HAS 10,000 HITS!! THATS SO COOL THANK YOU SO MUCH
> 
> jake’s stupid idea is based off of [this](https://youtu.be/j59BM6bOeUs) video by william osman. he’s quite funny, go watch his stuff!! i also uploaded a new yt video that i’m proud of, pls check it out!
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 6 members online]_

_brookie: okay uh_

_brookie: there are highkey chickens all over the dorms_

_brookie: like at least 100_

_jennrolls: how the hell did that happen?_

_brookie: ...no comment_

_canoozle: brooke_

_brookie: i am mostly innocent_

_brookie: it’s not my fault that all the stairwell doors were conveniently open_

_cupid: oh my god i love you_

_jakeyd: okay, wait, are they just huddled up or roaming through the dorms?_

_brookie: they’re literally everywhere_

_brookie: asighting.png_

_dick: how the hell do you get that many chickens in one place without people noticing_

_brookie: strategically placed bank notes and anonymous notes in the ra’s dorm and laundry baskets_

_brookie: and then baskets with free eggs_

_jennrolls: how the f u c k_

_brookie: lets just say the chickens are stage one, they’re using the eggs for other nefarious purposes_

_brookie: that’s all the information i am allowed to give_

_jennrolls: what, are you sworn to secrecy?_

_brookie: quite literally, yes_

_canoozle: this isn’t some sort of cult initiation, is it?_

_brookie: i’m not allowed to say_

_brookie: jk it’s not_

_cupid: jesus christ you nearly gave me a heart attack_

_jakeyd: lit_

_jakeyd: oh my god, speaking of which_

_jennrolls: should we be concerned?_

_dick: quite_

_jakeyd: my roommate and i nearly burnt down our dorm_

_cupid: i shouldn’t be surprised but how in the ever loving fuck_

_jakeyd: a bad day of arts and crafts_

_dick: care to elaborate?_

_jakeyd: fine_

_jakeyd: we found this tutorial (not really tho) on yt on a homemade glue gun_

_brookie: i haven’t even heard the outcome but i already know this is an incredibly stupid idea_

_jakeyd: so we make the thing and we don’t really know a lot about voltage or electricity_

_cupid: oh no._

_jakeyd: so i guess it was too many volts or something?_

_jennrolls: oh god_

_jakeyd: so it just kinda._

_canoozle: i’m nervous for this_

_jakeyd: ...blew up. like, burned the outlet, the cardboard fucking lit on fire and smoldered. and not in a flynn rider way_

_jakeyd: we also had it sitting on paper towel on a wooden table so the paper towel was IMMEDIATELY engulfed in flames and the table is now singed, we set off the fire alarms and our building had to evacuate_

_canoozle: you’re lucky you’re okay, jeez!_

_cupid: i have a feeling you shouldn’t be allowed near youtube tutorials or hardware stores for awhile_

_jakeyd: come on, we already found one for making a homemade laser printer!_

_brookie: NO_

_canoozle: that’s a really bad idea_

_jennrolls: do you want to get charged with arson?_

_cupid: you’re an idiot_

_dick: am i the only one who wants to see what would happen?_

_cupid: yes_

_cupid: stop encouraging his behavior and jake sit in the corner to think about what you’ve done_

_jakeyd: ..._

_jakeyd: y’all are weird_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo! sorry for being absent, finals are coming up, i’ve been busy (i even got a boyfriend!), and i’ve been working on chapter fifty a bit so i couldn’t really find the time to write anything here. but once school ends and i finish chapter 50 (which will take awhile, i’m sorry!!), updates will be more frequent!
> 
> cool beans. and on the boyfriend front, he’s so sweet and we had a movie night on saturday and my knuckles and shoulders hurt from holding his hand and leaning on him but it’s worth it. never thought the day would come where i got a partner but! here we are


	50. - an alternate timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a slightly disappointing version of what you’ve been waiting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay so. hear me out. writing more than these two au’s would take me all summer since i’m kinda busy and unmotivated to write this. i still have all the au ideas, and will release au chapters as i write them. but, i’ve got two that i really do like, and i hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)
> 
> i actually posted an original song, check it out [here!!](https://youtu.be/X1VOwDCaezI)

**we should be friends - josh ramsay**

 

_an au in which rich is prone to one night stands and is incredibly oblivious, and jake is a famous (mostly straight) musician who just so happens to meet rich one night at a bar._

 

Rich’s head was pounding.

The events of last night flashed behind his eyelids like strobe lights, coming and going, bright and hot. A constant rhythm, the thump of bass, echoed behind his eyes and in his temples. He vaguely remembered jello shots that tasted like cough syrup, singing until his lungs burnt, getting into an Uber with a tall and muscular guy…

Rich laid his head on the table and groaned.

“Well, you look like shit.”

Rich lifted his head up and was greeted with a smirking Chloe who held two steaming cups of coffee. Rich merely muttered out a “thanks” and grabbed the mug.

Chloe sat down in the chair across from Rich, legs scraping the floor that caused a sharp pain to shoot through his temples.

“What happened?” Chloe asked, leaning back and taking a sip of her coffee. “Damn, that’s hot.”

“What happened? Bad decisions, Chloe. Bad decisions,” Rich said, while cautiously trying his scorching coffee. “I’m out of college, you’d think I’d do better and not get so drunk that I don’t remember what happened last night.”

Chloe smiled over her mug. “Shit, Jeremy’s still in college and he’s doing better than you.”

“Yeah, he’s studying to be a surgeon and I’m over here with the worst hangover I’ve ever had.”

Chloe chuckled and looked over her shoulder. “Jenna and Brooke should be over soon, so try a little less to look like your soul has left your body, otherwise you’re going to get a _lot_ of questions.”

“Someone’s soul left their body?” a voice said behind Chloe. Jenna threw her bag on the chair and sat down, revealing Brooke behind her, who leaned down and pressed a kiss of her girlfriend’s cheek. Chloe blushed and buried her nose in Brooke’s shoulder.

“Gross,” Rich groaned.

Brooke separated herself from Chloe and took the last remaining seat.

She glanced at Rich, looked down at the menu, then snapped her head back to Rich.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Rich groaned and buried his head in his hands. “I’m 90% sure that I had a one night stand.”

Jenna laughed. “Girl or guy?”

“Guy. I think.”

Chloe raised her eyebrows and “ooh”’d. The other girls joined in.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rich said.

The girls continued to chat, their talk slowly dissolving into a dull murmur. Music from the café played in the bathroom, sounding oddly familiar…

_A tall boy with dirty blonde hair that draped down to his ears dragged him by the hand, hair whipping around him in the wind. Between steps, he pressed kisses to Rich’s lips, laughing and smiling from a few too many drinks. The air was chilly, but the pleasant warm buzz in Rich’s chest combated the cold._

_They eventually reached the curb outside the bar, stumbling and getting as close as was acceptable in public, kissing beneath a streetlight._

_Rich eventually broke away, practically gasping for breath. “Why’d we leave?” he asked, brushing the hair out of the boy’s face._

_The boy smiled. “Didn’t like the song,” he whispered, voice soft but powerful._

_“That’s reasonable,” Rich said, leaning back in for a kiss. After a bit, he broke away once again. “Hey, before this goes any further, I should probably ask so I don’t sound like a dick… what’s your name?”_

_The boy glanced away, fingertips tracing Rich’s jawline lightly, the ghost-like touch sending lightning down his spine. “I’ll be gone tomorrow. What’s the point in knowing if you’ll never see me again?”_

_The boy pressed his lips back to Rich, hot and heavy-_

“Hey? Earth to Rich!”

Rich snapped out of his daydream to be greeted with Chloe waving a hand in front of his face. He waved it away.

“Yeah, sorry, I just… well, let’s just say that I’m 99% sure that I had a one night stand.”

Brooke laughed. “What, did you have a vision?”

“More like a flashback. He was really cute. Wouldn’t tell me his name, though.”

Jenna raised an eyebrow. “You might wanna get tested.”

Brooke snorted. “It’s not the first time he’s done this. He uses a condom. You did use a condom, right?”

Rich shrugged. “I sure fucking hope.”

Chloe smiled and looked down at her phone. “Hey, guys, look at this, Jake Dillinger just tweeted!”

Brooke grabbed the phone from her. “‘Can’t get this boy out of my head…’ Oh my god, is he gay?”

Jenna peered over the table. “Maybe? Who do you think it is?”

Chloe snatched her phone back. “I don’t know, but he never tweets, so it must be good. Oh, hey, look at this! ‘Met a redheaded boy last night, hope I see him again’. Ooh, he’s definitely gay.”

Rich took the phone from Chloe’s hands. “Here, let me see that.”

He was met with a tweet from Jake Dillinger. He recognized the name somewhere, he was a musician. Pretty popular, as well. He glanced at the profile picture-

“Holy shit.”

-and dropped the phone.

Rich shot up from his chair and started pacing around the table, the girls staring at him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jenna asked, giving Chloe’s phone back to her.

Rich turned to her with as close as he would ever get to pure panic. “It’s me.”

Jenna blinked. “What?”

“It’s me, oh my god, how did I not realize that, I never would’ve done that, oh my god-“

“Rich!” Brooke interjected. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Rich stared at her, pulling at his hair with his hands. “I… I think I had a one night stand with Jake Dillinger.”

Chloe spit her coffee everywhere.

 

“So… how was he?”

“Is that really what we’re asking?”

They had left the coffee shop, Rich leaning on Jenna’s shoulders for support. The events of last night, including the more… acrobatic excursions slowly trickled back like a leaking faucet. His lips tingled at the thoughts, the red crescent-moon shaped marks in his back aching. Like tidal waves, the memories came flowing back, ebbing slowly with fuzzy images from an alcohol-fueled eyes, the ghost of calloused fingers tracing down his chest and back and… lower.

The voice, he realized, was quite familiar. The slight lilt, the rough yet boyish charm, how every word he said seemed oddly melodic and pulled Rich right in.

No wonder the night worked out the way it did.

Chloe lay a tentative hand on Rich’s shoulder. “You okay? Looks like you’re lost in thought again.”

Rich shook his head, hair falling into his eyes as he pushed back the flow of memories. “Yeah, just… I can’t believe I did that.”

Brooke hummed in agreement. “None of us can. How do you know it was… him?”

Rich shrugged. It wasn’t necessarily that he had time to realize that he was experiencing every inch of Jake-goddamn-Dillinger, but more of the tiny things that he realized he wanted to only experience more. The green specks in the blue eyes that Rich could only see when they were nose to nose, the small moles on his cheeks and cheekbones that melted into light freckles, the feeling of slight stubble against the pads of Rich’s fingers, the waves of his hair that fit perfectly between his fingers, the shaky, unsure hands that drifted lower down Rich’s skin, the rough, whispered groan in his ear as Rich walked him through what he was about to do, the vibrations in his neck as he softly sang to himself to adjust to the overload of new sensations. His voice spread throughout the room, a beautiful melody rolling off his tongue.

“His voice, probably,” Rich finally decided. “It was too… melodic. Too strong and practiced for someone who had no idea what he was doing.”

Jenna cocked an eyebrow. “Was he inexperienced?”

Rich bit his lip. “I… am I allowed to say this?”

Brooke stopped in her tracks and locked eyes with him. “Spill.”

He took a breath. “He was like a fucking virgin. I… think I was his first.”

“He’s had a lot of girlfriends before,” Chloe said. “He’s hot, there’s no way he’s a virgin.”

Jenna blinked. “Chloe. His _first.”_

Chloe coughed loudly as she practically choked on air. “Oh my god. Rich, you’re a fucking legend.”

“Don’t remind me.”

 

Every subsequent Saturday was spent in that same Philadelphia nightclub to search for that elusive one night stand. Jake’s twitter page was constantly open, to even get a glimpse of his whereabouts. It could’ve been considered stalking, but it was a public page. Rich was just trying to uncover a lost connection.

Girl and guys in minimal clothing or covered in glitter brushed past him, danced with him, but he was never able to get his mind off of that one night. The strobe lights were burned into the shape of a smiling face, or blue eyes, of wavy hair at the back of his mind.

Weeks and drinks and close contact went by, the pounding of bass lulling Rich to sleep on those unsuccessful nights. Cryptic tweets floated through Rich’s notifications, red hair being a common theme.

Finally, Rich found himself sitting at the bar, a beer and hand and mindless music that he had heard for weeks on end floating into his ears. Swear and glitter permeated the air, all too familiar for the months he had been trying to find one person.

Finally, the bass lowered slightly, an all too familiar voice that had whispered in his ear pumping through the nightclub’s speakers, nearly drowned out by screaming voices of the club’s patrons. _“Three AM staring at my phone, hoping you’re wondering if I’m alone…”_

And then, an idea.

The music pulsed as Rich pushed himself through the heartbeat of the crowd towards the entrance. _“Drive me crazy when you’re here, make me mad when you’re away, the sheets just aren’t as warm without you in them…”_

Rich slammed open the doors, and the words and beats no longer registered.

Underneath a yellow streetlight, a tall boy stood with dirty blonde hair waving wildly in the wind.

Rich’s legs carried him over underneath the light, his voice somehow finding him.

“Why’d you leave?”

The blue eyes with green specks, light freckles, wavy hair, and light stubble turned around to meet him. And underneath the lips that Rich had gotten to know so well within those few hours, a smile with blindingly white teeth emerged.

“Didn’t like the music.”

Rich smirked. “I think it’s pretty good. The guy has a nice voice. Especially when he’s moaning.”

Jake’s chest jerked sharply as he laughed. “Nah, it’s not that good. He uses autotune and is a fucking sellout.”

“Well, I can’t complain.” Rich’s hand trailed to trace his jawline. “I’ve been looking for you.”

The other boy closed his eyes and leaned his head into the touch. “I hoped the cryptic clues were enough. I didn’t have enough time to come back here, though.”

Rich’s voice dropped to a whisper. “As long as you have a little more time for me, I don’t mind.”

Jake’s smile radiated light, sending heat straight into Rich’s heart. The blue, piercing eyes opened, eyelashes lifting softly from their place on his cheekbones. Every feature about him was incredibly gentle, Rich realized, to be further explored and cared for, all with the same wonder he had that first night.

“Take all the time you need. I still have a lot to learn.”

Rich blinked. “And you’re willing to learn it with me?”

“You’re the only person whose ever made me want to…” he trailed off, looking for a nonexistent name.

“Rich,” he said.

“Rich,” Jake repeated, the name sounding infinitely better from his lips than from anyone else’s. “I like it. You willing to spend a little more time with me?”

“I’m sure I can find some.”

Jake chuckled. “Of all the people in all the cities I’ve been in, it has to be you.”

Rich smirked. “Maybe you haven’t been looking for the right people.”

Jake settled his mouth into a contented smile, forehead rested against the other’s.

“Maybe I haven’t. But I think I might’ve found my place.”

 

**feel it all (acoustic) - vinyl theatre**

 

_a soulmate au where soulmates have the ability to heal each other, featuring a jeremiah heere who believes he is going crazy, and a michael mell who is worried that his love is unrequited. trigger warning for suicide (kind of, not major) at the end._

 

When Michael was ten, he fell out of a tree.

His small scream of terror sent ice water down Jeremy’s spine as his new best friend plummeted down from the frail branch he was, moments ago, just perched on. The shock barely registered behind the falling boy’s blocky glasses before a _thump_ and a barely audible, yet petrifying _crack_ signified that gravity had completed its job.

The other boy crawled down the tree, branches and leaves leaving gashes on his hands in his hurry. The fact that neither mama or _inay_ were home were accompanied with his dad’s reminder that even ten foot falls are fatal…

The crumpled figure laying on the grass and dew reminded Jeremy that that was _way_ more than ten feet.

“Michael?” Jeremy called the moment his feet hit the ground.

No response.

The boy gingerly knelt next to his best friend, who Jeremy declared, with the knowledge from the first-aid booklet _inay_ made him read, was thoroughly unconscious. Dark skin bent awkwardly around bones bent at unnatural angles, long and dark hair matted at a growing stripe of red at the base of his forehead.

And, perhaps worst of all, Michael’s black, block glasses were split clean through the middle.

Michael’s moms were going to kill him.

Jeremy’s throat tightened and constricted the air he was desperately trying to suck in. The ten year-old’s hands shook as he brushed away Michael’s bloody hair, feather-light as not to worsen the injury. He squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, the rumbling in his ears distracting him from the disturbing sensation underneath his fingers. Jeremy slowly pried his eyes open to asses the situation.

He was met with normal skin. No gash gushing blood, only slowly drying, dissipating red liquid and a warm feeling in his hand spreading steadily up his forearm.

Jeremy experimentally passed a hand over Michael’s arm, which seemingly mended itself in the same manner, the bones moving underneath his skin in a sickening glide.

The young boy was considering fleeing the country in panic as brown eyes fluttered open, a warm but confused smile spreading as he saw his best friend.

“What happened?”

Jeremy blinked. “Uh, you kinda fell.”

Michael glanced up to the waving branches and leaves swaying in the wind. “That looks pretty far.”

The other boy nodded, his arm now prickling more painfully. “You landed on your arm, are you okay?”

Michael knitted his eyebrows, moving his arm carefully before pushing himself up with it. “Yeah, it seems fine. That’s… weird.”

Jeremy’s brain swirled with conflicting emotions, his friend was okay, but he was probably a witch… it took everything to simply nod.

His arm was now consumed by flames, licking and crawling and tearing at his skin and pain tolerance. It hurt unlike anything else he had ever experienced, more than the time he fell off his bike and split his head open because his mom hadn’t bothered giving him a helmet.

Yet, he still held a hand out to Michael, pulling him up and suggesting they call mama and _inay._

When Michael was ten, he went to the doctor after falling out of a tree on his arm.

He received no cast, no painkillers, no major medical attention.

There was no injury whatsoever, not even a bone that had healed from a break.

That night, Jeremy sat in his bed until the sun was far past its resting place, the moonlight trickling through his curtains. His arm tingled, almost as if it were asleep, and not just mended a bone. He stared at his hands- small, covered in small cuts from scaling the tree. His hands, those simple hands that had not ever created anything special. They held no magic, no healing powers that he read about in the books that he and Michael would read to distract Jeremy from the sounds of his parents arguing right outside his bedroom door. There was no way he just healed a broken bone.

Yet, the tingling feeling remained, slowly disappearing, as if poison was steadily draining from his system. Michael had no injury to his arm.

And Jeremy had fixed it.

The ten year-old groaned and flopped onto his back.

He was going crazy.

 

Michael had a constant tingling in his fingers. It almost burned, as if he was passing his fingers through a small flame and the pain had not yet registered. There was nothing wrong with them- the irrational part of him told him it was arthritis- but he knew the truth.

The pain in his fingers, the sometimes shooting pain and shock was how Michael realized that he liked boys.

Particularly Jeremiah Heere.

When Jeremy was fifteen, his mom left. The very beginning of sophomore year, the tenth grader woke up to a note on his kitchen counter in his mother’s writing, scathing words of how she was never happy here, how she regretted ever meeting his father, and his parents’ bed with only one figure in it.

By the time that Michael had caught word, a school day had passed, eight hours of an emotionally unstable Jeremy Heere alone in the midst of- what Michael would later describe it as- hell. His lungs burned as he sprinted to the Heere’s residence, the familiar dwelling somehow seeming infinitely darker, the driveway- the one that Michael had drawn chalk on and started bike races on and crawled on when sneaking to Jeremy’s house- was missing a car.

He didn’t bother knocking on the door, only opened it and took quiet steps in a path he had travelled so many times before.

Jeremy’s door was ajar, and Michael pushed it open slowly, the slight squeak alerting the boy laying in a ball on the bed to his guest.

His voice was barely audible when he spoke, scratchy and tired. “Go away.”

Michael sighed. “I’m not leaving.”

Michael could only imagine the scene on the other side of the bed, a teenager who had just lost his mom laying on the bed, tears staining his face, hair greasy from neglect. He could only imagine the way Jeremy was staring at the wall opposite him, eyes empty and dull, imagining he’d hear the familiar scratch of a key on the front door and his mother’s heels clicking on the tile, her tired but loving call for her son. He could only imagine how it felt when she started coming home later and later, how Jeremy would stare at his ceiling and wait for the key, the call no longer coming. He could only imagine how it felt when she stopped cracking Jeremy’s door open gently when she got home to check on her son, when her eyes no longer held love for her family, for her own son. He could only imagine how it felt when Jeremy realized that she would never come home.

There was no way he could leave.

Jeremy’s voice sounded thicker when the small voice finally broke through the silence. “I don’t want you here.”

Michael ignored how the words hurt. “Why not? I’m not going to leave you, you know.”

Jeremy rolled over and sat up, and Michael finally saw him. His hair was messy in all the wrong ways, eyes puffy, red splotches covering his cheeks, eyelashes weighed down with stray tears. “I wish you would. Please, Michael, just go,” he whispered, voice breaking at the end.

Michael stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. “You can’t go through this alone. I’m not going anywhere.”

Without warning, Jeremy’s body contorted as he punched his bed frame, a dull thump ringing through the room, before Jeremy stormed over to his best friend. He was _close_ , so close that Michael could see how his eyelashes clumped together from the tears, how his hair waved back and forth from the punches he was now pounding into Michael’s chest, how his lips moved and face scrunched up as he screamed with every punch.

_“Get- the- fuck- out!”_

With the last word, Jeremy lowered a shaky fist, knuckles torn open from punching his bed frame. Tears streamed down his face, his cheeks red and irritated as a broken sound escaped from his mouth.

Michael reached for his bloodied hands, shaking and broken, and led the sobbing Jeremy to his bed and sitting him down before enveloping him in a hug. Jeremy leaned his head into Michael’s shoulder, back jerking with sharp gasps for air between sobs. Michael rubbed his back, whispering soft praises and reminders that he would be okay. He balled his hands into the fabric of Michael’s shirt, grasping at something, _anything_ for support, for the way he once was able to stay in his mom’s arms and feel like everything was going to be okay.

Michael would never be able to do that for Jeremy, but he could try to do _something._

He had to be there.

At that moment, he realized that he had never felt so much _love_ for a single human being, that it was his duty to protect him when no one else could. It was at that moment he realized that his fingers tingled, that the cuts on Jeremy’s knuckles were gone, the blood entirely non-existent.

From that moment forward, Jeremy allowed Michael to hold his hand.

Each time, Michael wasn’t sure if his fingers tingled from the slowly disappearing bruises and cuts on Jeremy’s knuckles or because of the constant fluttering and pleasant yet utterly overwhelming heat in his chest whenever their hands intertwined.

Whatever it was, he was okay with it.

 

When Jeremy was seventeen, he spent a month in the hospital.

He had spent months believing that a voice in his head that wasn’t his could reliably change his life. For months, he obeyed an overlord; the SQUIP was a dictator, and Jeremy was his loyal, brainwashed subject. A slave willing to take any order. Even at the Halloween party, the SQUIP made him walk out on his best friend, the sickening, melodic voice telling him that Michael didn’t matter.

Jeremy could have stayed. He could have healed him.

The next day, when the optic nerve blocking failed and Jeremy saw Michael out the corner of his eye, he ignored the deep red scratches down his forearms, paid no mind to the crimson crescent-moon shapes pressed deep into his palms.

He could have healed him.

When a voice whispered and ricocheted against the walls of his brain that _he would never be able to heal Michael, he was going to a mental hospital, he was obviously insane,_ Jeremy wasn’t sure if the voice belonged to him or an invader.

Even if he wasn’t going crazy, even if the healing power wasn’t an image from a damaged mind, Jeremy wasn’t sure he’d be able to fix his relationship with Michael.

The scrape of metal against the tile flooring brought him out of his unpleasant reverie. The kind face that he grew up with appeared at his side, beard messy and tears leaking softly out of crinkled eyes made from a smile Jeremy hadn’t seen in years.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hi, Jeremy,” Mr. Heere responded, brushing the hair gently out of his son’s face. “What’re you doing?”

Jeremy sighed and shrugged. “Laying here and trying to magically heal my concussion,” he said, his half-hearted sarcastic quip apparently going completely over his father’s head.

Mr. Heere’s brows furrowed, voice coming out softly, as if he were talking to a small child. “You don’t… believe in all that, do you?”

“Of course, not. I’m not crazy.” Jeremy swallowed, a bitter taste on his tongue as he refuted the one truth he had in these past few months of confusion.

The elder nodded and leaned back in his chair. “You know, some people do. They think they have soulmates, and apparently some people believe that they can heal their soulmate.”

The steady beeps from Jeremy’s heart-rate monitor sped up significantly.

“But, really, it’s apparently quite rare. No wonder, since it’s all totally fake. No one _really_ has a soulmate, and there’s no way that someone could heal another person just with their mind.”

Jeremy nodded along to the beat of his father’s words. He had tuned out long ago, the steady beat of something to ignore him from his erratic heartbeat and to keep him from bashing his head on something.

It was true. He was going crazy.

 

As Jeremy’s head spun and the dim light that kept him going throughout these past few months slowly faded, Michael tapped his foot rapidly outside his hospital room. Mama and _inay_ stood with him, whispering in the hushed tones that adults always did in the face of tragedy.

Even though Michael was nearly eighteen, he couldn’t have felt smaller.

He stared at the door, seeing flashes of the familiar mop of dark hair, high cheekbones and thin nose accompanied with a painful pang in his chest. A weight on his shoulder alerted him to _inay_ standing next to him.

“How’re you doing, _dayong?”_ she asked, squeezing him tightly.

“Okay, I guess,” Michael sighed, leaning into his mom’s touch. _“Miss na miss ko na siya.”_ _  
_ Somehow, admitting it in English would’ve been infinitely harder. Michael wasn’t sure he could handle that quite yet.

 _Inay_ smiled sadly. “I know. I bet you wish you could go in there and heal it all, right?”  

He nodded. “I think I did, once. Or have been.” Mama, who had appeared on the other side of Michael as if to surround him in a circle of comfort, raised her eyebrows. “I know that sounds really weird,” Michael started rambling, words stringing together and throat tightening, “but ever since Jeremy’s mom left, I think I’ve been able to heal his wounds by just touching them, ‘cause he punched his bed frame and I held his hands and they just, _poof!,_ were fine, and when he-”

Mama put a hand on his shoulder and a single finger to her mouth. “Shh. We believe you, Michael.”

Michael lifted his head and squeezed his eyes together for a moment, as if his brain were working on catching up to everything happening around him. “Really?”

 _Inay_ smiled. “Do you love him, Michael?”

Michael swallowed, his cheeks heating up. “I… yeah. Yeah, I do.”

To either side of him, his moms celebrated, eyes lighting up with large smiles.

“I knew it!”

“Rachel owes us twenty bucks.”

Michael coughed. “Okay, I’m just going to… ignore that you were betting on my love life, but you believe me? Isn’t it kind of… crazy?”

 _Inay_ shrugged. “Some people don’t believe in it. I didn’t for a long time. When I met your dad, it never worked, even though I hoped it would. I was hurting instead of being healed. It should’ve been my sign to get out of that relationship, and as soon as I knew I was going to have you, I did. And now…”

To the right of him, mama scratched her arm, hard, to the point where tiny pinpricks of scarlet appeared over her skin. Right as Michael opened his mouth to protest, _inay_ waved a gentle hand over the skin, and as each finger passed over, so did the scratch, so did the scarlet.

“...I can do this.”

Michael’s fingers tingled at the thought of brushing his fingers over Jeremy’s broken knuckles.

“So, you two are soulmates.”

The two nodded.

“And… if I can heal Jeremy… he’s my soulmate.”

They nodded, mama gripping Michaels hand tightly in a squeeze of approval, but somehow it didn’t compare to the tightness collecting in his chest.

“But… Jeremy’s never…”

The room got colder.

“He’s never…”

The spiral started, the tightness and darkness threatening to constrict his windpipe and take away the dim light holding him together.

Michael’s voice broke as he spoke, tears that had been steadily collecting dripping out in a broken plea.

“What if he’s my soulmate, but I’m not his? What… what if he doesn’t love _me?”_

 

When Michael was eighteen, he found his best friend standing on the edge of a bridge.

There had been no warning, no text of goodbye, no pleas for help. Just the gut feeling of something horrible at 3 AM, and an empty room when Michael peaked inside.

He should have suspected it. Jeremy had been… off lately. Of course, he had never been the same since the SQUIP. He was quieter. Sat and said nothing when he was given a direct order, as if he would never again respond to a direction in case it was the voice in his head once again. He would jerk sometimes when they were alone, phantom shocks going down his spine if he slouched too much, if he was doing anything uncool. He allowed people to touch him more, hugs from Chloe and Christine, but flinched when Michael got too close.

He wouldn’t let Michael hold his hand.

His knuckles were constantly scabbed or bleeding now, arms bloodied or bruised, and Michael was sitting next to him, helpless.

Michael helplessly scanned the road illuminated by the light of his headlights as he wandered the roads of the town he called home. With each road absent of Jeremy, his heartbeat only quickened its pace, the tightness in his throat threatening to choke him.

Finally, on a rickety old bridge where he and Jeremy used to skip rocks from when their parents kicked them out of the house during the summer did Michael find the skinny and tall figure looking into the water.

Michael killed the engine and crept out of his car. “Jeremy?”

The figured twisted, messy hair moving along with his head, dark eyes dull in the moonlight.

He looked lost.

Michael took another step, voice soft as if he were soothing a frightened puppy. “Why are you here?”

Jeremy looked back towards the water. “I… I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep, my head just wouldn’t _stop_ ,” he said, hands reaching up and pulling his hair. “I needed to get out. I thought it would get better. But, everywhere I go…

“I’m going crazy, Michael.”

Michael shook his head. “Jeremy, no, you’re not crazy. You’ve been through so much, whatever you’re feeling is completely justified.”

Jeremy’s voice shook. “It’s not! I’ve been suffering for so long, nothing’s getting better, and I’m delusional… I’m crazy, Michael. It’s… it’s just how it is.”

“Then let me help,” Michael pleaded, taking a step forward, hoping his legs would be able to support him. “Jeremy, you’ve been pushing me away, you can’t go through this alone.”

“You can’t help me. Have you ever thought that maybe I’m trying to get away from you? To protect you?” he said, body moving slightly towards the water. The words were almost lost in the sound of the river, of the final destination awaiting.

He was waiting for the pain to come flooding, preparing for the fall.

“Jeremy, you’re being ridiculous, please get down,” Michael whispered.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Jeremy screamed. “I’m done taking orders. I’m done being told what to do. I’m tired of all the voices in my head telling me I’m crazy.”

“Why? Why would you ever think that?”

Jeremy’s voice was barely audible above the rush of the river and the pounding in Michael’s ears.

“I love you.”

Michael almost laughed. “Jeremy, come here. Please. I need to show you something.”

Jeremy turned his head back to Michael, and after a moment of consideration, he stepped cautiously towards the other, one foot after the other.

The Jeremy standing in front of Michael was not the one he spent every day with. It was the one that sat silently in Michael’s room for an entire day after the SQUIP, trying desperately to grasp onto his old life, the one that had panic attacks during lunch that reduced him to an intelligible stutter, the one that laid in his bed and cried when he was suddenly a kid without a mom. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t beautiful, romantic, wasn’t anything good.

Michael knew he couldn’t heal Jeremy.

But he wanted so _badly_ to.

“Give me your hand?” he whispered, stretching a gentle hand out to the scared boy in front of him. Jeremy obliged.

His knuckles were bloodied, open cuts let untreated to fend for themselves in the harsh night air. Jeremy flinched when Michael took his hand but did not withdraw it.

Michael’s fingers tingled as he brushed his thumb over the other’s knuckles, feather light. The blood and cuts disappeared, the slight burn hurting slightly after a year without the sensation.

Jeremy stared at his hand as if he had never seen it before.

Tears flowed down his cheeks.

“See?” Michael said, taking the other hand and reversing the damage. “If you’re crazy, that means I am too.”

Jeremy’s hands shook as he wrapped his arms around Michael, burying his face in the other’s shoulder, sobs muffled by his cotton shirt. Michael automatically put his arms around the his best friend, one hand trailing lightly up and down his back, the other smoothing down the unkempt mop of curls that he loved.

“I’m s-sorry,” Jeremy choked out between sobs. “I-I thought I was go-going crazy…”  
“I know, Jer.”

“I didn’t w-want to h-h-hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I just th-thought… I thought I could g-get over it… I just want it all to stop, Michael.”

“I know, Jeremy,” he whispered. “I wish I could heal it all, make it all go away.”

“But you can’t.”

“But I can’t.”

The rush of the river beneath them covered the sound of Jeremy’s sobs to the rest of the world, masked Michael’s quiet praises as he held Jeremy in his arms. The sound was comforting.

“You, know, Jeremy, I’m not leaving you,” Michael said, voice barely audible. “I’m going to fix up all your cuts, and even if I can’t heal what’s going on up here-” he tapped Jeremy’s temple lightly- “I’m going to be here. I’ll help you through it.”

The river rushed beneath them.

“You know I love you, Jeremy.”

It healed, cleansed.

“I love you too.”

The river went on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listened to music while writing these chapters so each song was kinda the feel i wanted it to have. speaking of music- i saw imagine dragons at summerfest yesterday!! i cried a lot when dan reynolds talked about mental illness during demons (i posted a clip on my tumblr) and i still cry when i watch it. the concert meant so much to me. i’ve been listening to imagine dragons since i was little, i grew up with demons and it’s time and on top of the world and radioactive and nothing left to say, it’s something that was always there. seeing them live was just... wow. it was so much more meaningful to me than any other concert i’ve been to. (PLUS DURING RISE UP AT THE BRIDGE WHERE DAN SINGS ABOUT THE FOURTH OF JULY HE MADE A LITTLE BOOM SOUND AND FIREWORKS WENT OFF. MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY) i was also so close to the b stage so, just, oh my god. it was incredible. i’m seeing halsey tomorrow too so!! ahh!!! i went to pride earlier this month as well, i’ll talk about in the comments and/or next chapter if you wanna know about it
> 
> anyways, talk to me in the comments!! what kind of chapters do you want to see? how’s your summer going? how’d you like these au’s? i love all your feedback, even if i’m horrible at responding to comments.


	51. damn this is so sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the memes that will surely be dead when new people find this fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really like this meme and i'm only including it in this chapter bc i had no idea what it meant and had to look it up.... still not sure i entirely understand what it means
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_jakeyd: yo jeremy_

_jakeyd: i am only coming to you because you are the master at this_

_jerrybean: so that's either memes or obscure michael facts_

_jennrolls: first off, i am offended that you did not come to me for memes, assuming that's what it is_

_canoozle: come on jenna, that was like fifty chapters ago, no one remembers that_

_jennrolls: ...what?_

_canoozle: please ignore that comment_

_[canoozle went offline]_

_jakeyd: ...okay then_

_jennrolls: also, obscure michael facts? care to share one?_

_jerrybean: half of them i'm using for blackmail but otherwise, yes_

_jerrybean: obscure michael fact no. 137: he still owns a pair of spider man footie pajamas_

_[gay came online]_

_gay: i would scold you for telling that but i'm pretty proud of that fact_

_[canoozle came online]_

_canoozle: michael that's so adorable!! i'd love to see a picture of little michael in them_

_jerrybean: oh they're totally adult sized_

_gay: still proud of it but in my defense i've been changing it to look like tom holland's spiderman's makeshift suit_

_jennrolls: let me guess, you're too cheap to buy the actual costume?_

_gay: i got it at the dollar store, brooke teaches me how to do it, i steal materials from the textiles department, and i have about twenty dollars in my bank account, so, yes_

_gay: maybe i'll sell it on etsy_

_canoozle: i'd totally buy it, tom holland's spider-man is the best spider-man_

_jennrolls: agreed. he's a bit more excitable than most fifteen year olds but i love him all the same_

_jakeyd: okay okay okay guys i came here for help, and i'm totally going to ignore the fact that jeremy 100% has more than 137 obscure michael facts_

_jerrybean: i've known him for forever. there's a  l o t._

_jakeyd: i figured_

_jakeyd: now, before i say anything, you guys need to promise not to laugh at me. this is my time of need_

_jerrybean: i promise_

_jennrolls: hard maybe_

_jakeyd: okay_

_jakeyd: can you please explain to me what the hell "this is so sad alexa play despactio" means? rich keeps saying it and i got an alexa for christmas so it actually plays despactio and i'm just. so confused_

_jerrybean: holy shit_

_jennrolls: oh my god jake_

_jakeyd: you said you wouldn't laugh!_

_gay: THAT WAS BEFORE YOU SAID ALL THAT  
_

_jakeyd: you guys are mean_

_canoozle: aw jake's feelings are hurt :( this is so sad alexa play despactio_

_jennrolls: christine, i have never been prouder of you_

_canoozle: aw shucks_

_jerrybean: oh my god give me a sec_

_jennrolls: take your time hun_

_jakeyd: ......_

_jerrybean: it's just a stupid meme_

_jakeyd: THATS REALLY ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT???_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> headcanon that christine is secretly the only one who knows that this is just a fic
> 
> anyways, this was me getting back into writing this, it was really fun! speaking of really fun: i saw halsey this past friday and... holy shit. it was so good, and she is so attractive. holy shit. i know i have a boyfriend but i'm really, really, really gay. i've also been watching brooklyn nine-nine and finished it this week, (spoilers!) jake and amy's wedding was so freakin adorable, they're one of the few straight ships i have but i love them so, so much. 
> 
> lastly, how are your summers going?? i hope you're all having a fun time <3


	52. road trip to athens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some more quality gay content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for leah on the offbeat and simon vs. the homosapiens agenda a lil bit?? and my favorite lesbians praising it
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 4 members online]_

_cupid: hey michael remember when we were talking about love simon and you said “we’re here to talk about love, simon, it’s not love, simone” and as a lesbian i was personally offended?_

_gay: vaguely_

_cupid: WELL BITCH_

_cupid: LEAH ON THE OFFBEAT_

_dick: oh jesus christ_

_cupid: WEVE GOT A CANONICALLY FAT, PETTY, SIDE-EYE GIVING BISEXUAL QUEEN_

_brookie: i’m agreeing with chlo on this one, becky albertali is a GODDESS_

_gay: cool but eh_

_brookie: michael.... are you lesphobic?_

_gay: whaaaaaat??? some of my best friends are lesbians_

_gay: but seriously, i didn’t really like leah all that much, she was kinda bland and always mad_

_cupid: but michael. her character is amazing here. she’s lowkey petty in an awesome way and you get to see her self-confidence grow and the entire book is just GAY PANIC_

_brookie:[gaypanic.jpg](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ea5a7681048724a5dfe15857cdeb6465/tumblr_inline_p73cuofhjc1s2grx7_1280.jpg)_

_cupid: thank you babe_

_gay: slightly better. does it have excessive brendon urie references_

_brookie: sadly no_

_cupid: but there’s cal_

_brookie: norah is such a cutie_

_cupid: simon and bram are that sickenly cute couple_

_brookie: there’s a casual mention of an enby character_

_cupid: there’s an abundance of gay thoughts_

_brookie: garret accidentally takes the gang to american girl bistro for their prom dinner and they all just go with it_

_cupid: abby changes simon’s autocorrect so he only can type in fifty shades of gray quotes_

_brookie: that one scene where abby is a little bit something is a bit problematic but the rest of the book is good_

_gay: okay i didn’t hear much about it before but i am warming up to it_

_cupid: i have the sealing deal_

_cupid: leah likes abbbbbyyyyyy_

_gay: WHY DIDNT YOU LEAD WITH THAT_

_gay: I HAVE BEEN SHIPPING THEM SINCE DAY ONE_

_gay: SOMEONE GIVE ME TWENTY BUCKS SO I CAN BUY IT_

_brookie: it’s only like fifteen bucks_

_gay: it’s already established that i’m broke. and i owe rich five bucks_

_cupid: why?_

_dick: ....you don’t want to know_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished leah on the offbeat and MY POOR GAY HEART, I LIVE FOR BISEXUAL LEAH!!!! simon and bram’s reaction to leah and abby at the end of the book brang me back to life. i did have a lil problem with leah being mad that abby said she’s a “little bi” because being bi isn’t 50/50 and it’s hard to accept sometimes but i get why leah was mad. it kinda feels like bi-erasure but abby’s just tryn to figure stuff out yknow?


	53. so many people end up sucking dick for meth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jakeybigd: the pornstar no one expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking saw be more chill in new york. i met george goddamn salazar and stefanie and katlyn complimented me on my outfit and i told lauren she looked so good bald and she was telling me about the annoyance of shaving it and tiffany complimented my mom on her phone ring thing (lol) and i met everyone EXCEPT FOR GERARD WHO DIDNT STAGEDOOR (which is okay but i wanted to meet him)
> 
> in other news, i got my playbill signed and i’m not really sure on all the signatures so pls help me out?? here’s who i think they are, please help me check
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> [link to signed playbill](https://photos.app.goo.gl/aNLZhz8sRKR6Na2z9)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 6 members online]_

_gay: anyone want to give me 23k a month so i can get an apartment in new york_

_cupid: that’s more than my parent’s house’s mortgage_

_brookie: that’s more than my life’s worth_

_cupid: oh shush you’re priceless_

_jakeyd: *cough*GAY*cough*_

_jennrolls: oh shut up you once sucked dick for five bucks_

_brookie: WHAT_

_gay: damn you’re making a business out of it, that’s smart_

_cupid: you’re saying that like you’re considering it_

_gay: i mean_

_gay: if i were ever really short of money_

_jennrolls: you are_

_jakeyd: are you implying that you’re considering cheating on jeremy?_

_gay: shut it you’re not off the hook_

_gay: 1. i got some money so i’m not really that broke anymore_

_gay: 2. if i did i would make sure jer was okay with it_

_brookie: how’d you get money??_

_cupid: other sexual favors ?_

_gay: fuck y’all_

_jakeyd: oh so the whole package_

_gay: i actually hate all of you_

_gay: i went to ny with my parents and they gave me some money and i gambled since i’m legally an adult (how the fuck) and i won a few hundred dollars_

_jennrolls: no prostitution?_

_gay: no prostitution_

_gay: but_

_brookie: MICHAEL WHAT DID YOU DO_

_gay: NOTHING JESUS_

_gay: i got a full crotchal patdown at tsa because for some reason there was a spot down there that went off so that was F U N_

_gay: dysphoric as hell too but i felt a little bit of joy when the lady was feeling me up and was like “uh, sir”_

_gay: and then immediate panic since i didn’t want to explain that i was trans and don’t have a dick_

_jakeyd: oh yeah i forgot about that_

_cupid: oh my god, jacob dillinger_

_jakeyd: oops_

_jakeyd: sorry_

_jakeyd: i’m sure rich will read through this later and kick my ass_

_jakeyd: but i’m sorry michael, that’s got to be horrible_

_gay: eh, they didn’t make a huge deal of it_

_gay: also thank you for forgetting cause that’s all i think about sometimes_

_jakeyd: SEE_

_jennrolls: you’re still not off the hook_

_jakeyd: oh jesus christ_

_jakeyd: senior year, before rich and i got together, i was at a gas station trying to buy food because i had been driving for a really long time and i was hungry but when i went up to pay i had nothing_

_jakeyd: so i went into the bathroom and there was a guy there (attractive) and asked him if he had five bucks and he said yeah but. yknow._

_gay: suck my dick and get it_

_jakeyd: yep_

_jakeyd: i ended up dating him for a few months and i got my five bucks so it was pretty lit_

_chloe: i hate that you just said lit_

_brookie: oh like you don’t say it 100 times a day_

_chloe: don’t call me out like this_

_jennrolls: didn’t you have a credit card?_

_jakeyd: i left it at home_

_gay: are we entirely sure you weren’t part of some shitty porno?_

_brookie: i second that notion_

_jakeyd: it was NOT_

_jakeyd: although it probably would’ve made a good amount of money_

_jennrolls: WAIT_

_jennrolls: I THOUGHT YOU COULDNT DRIVE AFTER YOU GOT IN YOUR WHEELCHAIR_

_brookie: B U S T E D_

_jakeyd: YOU DO REALIZE THERE ARE ACCOMMODATIONS FOR DISABLED PEOPLE RIGHT_

_jakeyd: HAND CONTROLS_

_jakeyd: I WAS NOT IN SOME SHITTY PORNO_

_gay: i still don’t believe you_

_gay: time to get various viruses from going on multiple porn sites looking for jake_

_gay: what do you think his porn name would be_

_jakeyd: FUKC YOU_

_jennrolls: jakeybigd_

_gay: thank you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took awhile!! i’ve been pretty busy (obviously) i also got the idea for mike’s tsa experience bc i got a very thorough pat down when coming back from new york.........
> 
> new york was incredible. i saw dear evan hansen while i was there as well, alex boniello was fuckin amazing as connor (he played mortiz’s voice in the deaf west production of spring awakening, highly recommend watching that) and i cried my eyes out. we explored a bunch of the city and i am 100% going to college there even if it kills me
> 
> as always, tell me what you thought of this!! i love hearing from you guys <3


	54. all artists are crazy anyways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> creative crises all around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID I MENTION/DID ANYBODY KNOW THAT THEY CHANGED THE LYRICS TO PITIFUL CHILDREN??
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 3 members online]_

_jakeyd: can someone please explain to me why i ever try to do anything creative because everything i create is shit_

_dick: jakey it's 3 am_

_dick: you need to sleep_

_jerrybean: and your art is amazing, what the hell are you talking about_

_jakeyd: it's really not!_

_jakeyd: sure you guys see it and think it's cool, i spend hours looking at this shit and none of it is good_

_jakeyd: i stare at my computer screen until i want to punch it or throw my pencils all over the room and then spend twenty fucking minutes trying to find them because i can't FUCKING WALK_

_jakeyd: you'd think that by looking at it longer you'd see good things?? nope! i just stare at it and keep making different changes until three am but it's not as good as i want it to be and i know i'll never be that good because i'm just a prime example of a soon to-be college dropout_

_jakeyd: god how did i ever get into risd_

_rich: because you're an artist and you're amazing at it, you just don't see it. you're your own worst critic_

_jakeyd: i'm hardly being a critic when i'm staring at literally the worst work rhode island has ever seen_

_jerrybean: i'm 100% sure that is not true. how else would you get accepted into one of the best design schools in the us? you're amazing, you're confident in literally everything else you do, i'm sure you can shift that confidence to here as well_

_dick: agreed_

_dick: you're an incredible artist and somehow you just don't see it. i promise you, someday you will_

_jakeyd: thanks_

_jakeyd: but i still don't agree_

_jerrybean: i don't know how else to convince you, honestly_

_dick: well_

_dick: if you won't accept that you're good, at least we know you're not the worst_

_jakeyd: unlikely?_

_jerrybean: ohhhhhhhH rich i see where you're going_

_dick: you bet your ass_

_dick: what was the kid that sat next to you in applied color or whatever? daryll?_

_jakeyd: dave_

_jerrybean: wasn't he the one who had never heard of the color wheel?_

_dick: oh yes he was, and the one who brought his personal sketchbook to class accidentally and had a bunch of shitty drawings of post malone_

_jerrybean: really?? why the fuck would anyone ever want to see his face_

_jakeyd: he drew him so badly that post malone actually looked good_

_dick: DAMN_

_jerrybean: i'm three hundred miles away and i can feel the heat from that burn_

_jakeyd: okay so maybe i'm not the /worst/_

_dick: of course not_

_dick: now art boy call me so i can tell you how good you are at art_

_dick: plus knowing you, you probably have marker or paint on your nose and didn't notice and you look cute like that_

_jerrybean: since chloe is currently not here, i will fill in her duties_

_jerrybean: w h o l e s o m e_

_jakeyd: ...._

_jakeyd: i just checked and i really hate that you're right_

_dick: call meeeee_

_jerrybean: you two have fun_

_[dick went offline]_

_[jakeyd went offline]_

_[jerrybean went offline]_

_[jerrybean came online]_

_jerrybean: WAIT ITS THREE AM YOU NEED TO SLEEP_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a huge list of things from bmc and deh that i noticed when i saw it if anyone wants to see that? they range from “brooke was eating a bannana and literally chucked it across the stage” to “there’s this super subtle thing during one of evan and heidi’s fights where she moves a foot forward ever so slightly and evan moves his back” and everything in between, if anyone wants to see that?
> 
> anyways i'm projecting onto these guys againnnnnnnnnnn! i'm probs oversharing but i usually get super, super depressed during the summer and isolate myself, last summer i barely left my house for anything, and while this summer has been so much better i'm slipping back into that ugh. i need school to start so i can get a routine again. anyways i'm just frustrated bc i have the urge to create but i don't know what to and whenever i make something i don't like it and i always think i can do so much better and that everything i create is shit so...... i'm basically every artistic person ever. it's just fuckin frustrating bc i'm sitting in my bed trying to draw, oh look at that that's horrible, i go onto ao3 and write a chapter, oh look that sucks i shouldn't put that up, i try to write music but that's shit too, so why don't i go play already written music so i do and then i'm annoyed because i should be trying to write my own stuff and this is so much better than anything i'll ever write UGH IM JUST FRUSTRATED AND FUCKING ANNOYED
> 
> it's kind of fitting that i don't really like this chapter... but just ignore me, i'm having the issue that literally every creator ever has ran into it'll blow over eventually


	55. gay? gay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m making a gay playlist because i watched alex strangelove and remembered how gay i am  
> (but it the songs have to sound like troye sivan or rusty clanton, they’re not necessarily inherently gay but they give me gay vibes and shit) if you have suggestions, tell me!! there’s also a link to the playlist below (do me a favor and ignore the username <3)
> 
> [for her. (gay playlist. because i’m gay),](https://open.spotify.com/user/megelyseb/playlist/3EHpBLMk1OcXimaWVvF4PM?si=4_jiLf4sQpGLdmb-oNfH-w) [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)
> 
> i'm actually bisexual

_[uterus bros and other hoes currently has: 5 members online]_

_dick: guys... i need to tell you something_

_cupid: firstly, the rest of the ppl in this chat are girls_

_brookie: guys is a gender neutral term_

_canoozle: honestly, i think that's a bit debatable_

_jennrolls: we are not here to argue over the gender of the phrase "you guys"_

_cupid: agreed_

_brookie: you're the one who brought it up!!_

_cupid: you know how much i love tea though_

_brookie: i know you're not talking about actual tea but you once sat me down and taught me how to make a "correct" cup of tea and then quizzed me on it_

_canoozle: she did the same thing to me! she also spoke in a bad british accent the entire time_

_brookie: SAME THING HAPPENED IT WAS SO BAD  
_

_cupid: why do y'all call me out like this_

_jennrolls: why do you say "y'all"_

_brookie: discourse_

_dick: CAN I SAY MY THING_

_canoozle: yes please go ahead we're all listening_

_canoozle: right?_

_brookie: ..._

_cupid: yeah_

_jennrolls: yes mom_

_dick: y'know i was setting up a joke and i think you guys just ruined it_

_cupid: OH JUST SAY THE FUCKING THING_

_dick: jesus okay_

_dick: i'm gay_

_dick: like, really fucking gay_

_dick: me? gay_

_dick: i really like boys_

_dick: especially jake_

_dick: they're nice and i love them_

_dick: i'm literally so gay jesus fucking christ_

_jennrolls:[richardgorinskiyouarebisexual.jpg](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3d/ed/59/3ded59803cce674eb35991e6328d58b5.jpg)_

_cupid: "oh my god, i'm totally bi"_

_brookie: "is michael single? because i'm totally bi now"_

_cupid: "i'm so bisexual i make all the guys at school confused"_

_dick: YOU KNOW I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TiME AND IM RELALay FEELKING ATTACKED RN_

_[brookie changed the conversation name to: richard goranski is bisexual]_

_dick: JUST LET ME SAY IM GAY_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also!! i think i’m a little bit ace!! graysexual or demisexual?? idrk but i know i’m somewhere on the spectrum. i’m not sex-repulsed but i’ve always been somewhat opposed to it (it’s hard to explain) and i don’t have sexual attraction very often?? but i still have it. sometimes. a lot of my crushes, though very rare and also attributed to the fact that i’m bi and didn’t figure that out until about eighth grade and didn’t really realize i had crushes on girls, have always happened when i’ve formed a bond with them and even then it was never v sexual in nature so that’s why i’m thinkin i’m around graysexual or demisexual. i also think i’d rather have sex with a girl but that’s probs just because i’m leaning towards girls. i’d still date anyone (guy, girl, etc) but for a good two years i leaned towards guys and now i’m just like IM REALLY GAY  
> idk. it’s all weird.
> 
> idk if i told y’all but last year i wrote a thing for english on how i realized i was bi if anyone wants to read it. also, to any spanish speakers, i finally redid that spanish chapter. it was so shitty and literally unreadable, i'm so sorry. there's probably still some errors but it should make sense now. these notes are always super long YIKES


	56. pins and needles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chronic pain is a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO THIS FIC HAS BEEN UP FOR A YEAR?? HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PEEPS
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.alecjb.tumblr.com), [ko-fi](https://www.ko-fi.com/alecjbi), & [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ZGhcPElKF8rsGgUVYbWxg)

_[richard goranski is bisexual currently has: 1 member online]_

_dick: /pm gay_

_dick: hey michael?_

_[gay came online]_

_gay: hey, what’s up_

_gay: it’s late, are you alright?_

_dick: i guess_

_gay: that’s concerning_

_dick: you’re dramatic_

_gay: i beg to differ but go on_

_gay: seriously, what’s wrong_

_dick: ugh_

_dick: everything hurts_

_dick: and i’m not exaggerating, i mean literally everything_

_dick: i have a headache and i’ve always had pain with my burn scars but it’s so much worse than usual and is spreading all over my body_

_dick: my muscles ache like i worked out for a week straight but i’ve been in my dorm all day_

_dick: i don’t mean to dump everything on you but i needed to tell someone and i’m sure jake is tired of my shit_

_gay: is this the first time this has happened?_

_dick: no, it happens a lot at night but tonight is worse for some reason_

_gay: it really sounds like you need to go to the doctor_

_gay: none of us like seeing you in pain, and i can only imagine what it feels like for you_

_dick: well_

_dick: ug h_

_dick: i don’t really feel like i deserve to go to the doctor.. i’m the reason it hurts and i’ve gotten through pain like this before and even worse before so i can do it again_

_dick: i don’t want to bother anybody, i guess_

_gay: rich... just because you think you can handle your pain alone doesn’t mean you have to_

_gay: the fact that you’ve been through worse doesn’t make this pain any less valid, your life shouldn’t be built around pain_

_dick: thanks michael_

_gay: of course, you can’t go through any kind of pain alone, that’s where things go bad_

_dick: ig_

_dick: can you... stay up for ahwhile? i don’t really want to be alone_

_gay: of course rich_

_gay: of course._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m feeling kinda ://// today. like i was excited once i realized it’s freshman year’s anniversary but overall it’s kinda just. eh. 
> 
> i’ve had pain problems for a really long time, i can’t remember the last time something hasn’t hurt, and i’ve never complained because it’s never been really bad. i only ask for ibuprofen when i literally can’t handle it anymore. but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. i have this thing where my skin (on my forearms and hands, my scalp and behind my ears, neck and sides) hurts just from brushing my fingers over it. i can’t brush my hair without pain. it feels like i’m being poked/have sunburn. i have wrist problems and probably tendonitis in my forearm so my wrist and tendon and muscles constantly ache. i’ve had knee problems and went to pt for it but it still acts up. i was limping earlier today bc my hip tightened up. my muscles randomly ache for no reason, my legs hurt like hell, and it feels like growing pains, even though i’ve been at the same height for a year.  
> it’s just a really shitty feeling bc i’m in high school and i have all these pain problems and i feel so old. i can’t run without my knees hurting like hell, sometimes walking is hard too. sometimes i can’t climb bc my wrist hurts so bad and kt tape only kind of helps. i’ll drop onto the mat when i’m bouldering and lie in pain for three minutes because i fucked up my knee again, even though i landed normally. i have to stay away from long sleeves or anything with high collars because my skin hurts just from touching the fabric, or tight fitting shirts that rub against my sides.  
> ik this note is long (again) but i’m just really :// i really need to go back to the doctor lol

**Author's Note:**

> just so you know, all the jpgs go to actual pictues. i got to add "kermit dying meme" to my search history. and i know that you have to go to undergrad school to get into med school, i'm planning on going to med school. but let's just ignore that. k cool
> 
> jenna and jeremy have massive meme collections: confirmed
> 
> thanks for checking this out!! i love u all


End file.
